Facebook etc

[scary mum]

I agree that it is not necessarily sensible to ban it altogether. DD used to spend quite a bit of time on Facebook and got fairly badly burned. However, when she disabled her account she becamse quite socially excluded. I hate the whole business of tagging people at events, which for teenagers is a way of saying "look, you weren't invited to this party", but I think we have to accept that these type of sites are here to stay and there are some good things that come out of them (in my case staying in touch with far-flung relatives, and with others I know, getting to know people on their course/in their flat before going to uni). DD rarely uses Facebook these days and now it is all about Twitter.
What is important is to educate and discuss, rather than banning and them doing things in secret. A friend has just found out her DD has had Instagram for a year without her knowledge and has been approached for a "modelling" assignment by someone who had seen her photos. Hmmm. This child is 12.

[KS10]

Of course, I can't be sure that DS isn't on FB under an assumed name but if he is, at least future employers won't see some of the drivel he is capable of writing . Seriously though, he is aware of my feelings although I haven't banned him from having an account. What would be the point? I'd like to think that he knows me well enough to know that I would have a rant and nag him from time to time. I have the same issue with twitter - he does have an account - and, unfortunately, it has reminded me that modesty/humility is not his forte. We are still working on this.

[modernista]

We have asked DD not to put photos of herself or of her friends on the instagram. Cant stop anyone else putting her photo up!

[pheasantchick]

My DC's both have facebook accounts. With d1, it comes in useful for asking advice about homework and other school matters.

[Reading Mum]

my DD knows that you have to be 13 to have a FB account and she is a stickler for rule following so I expect to be saying yes on her 13th birthday. She has friends with accounts but knows that they had to lie about their age to set the account up.
Her school showed the scary film about a man pretending to be a young lad to get personal details in the first ICT lesson of yr 7.

[Tinkers]

Glad I find out what DD did in ICT from you Reading Mum, as she didn't say and I've just asked her about the film.

DD is 11 and has no interest in FB. She knows I use it but because of the reasons I use it she doesn't see it as something she is interested in. She communicates with friends by email mostly, but doesn't remember that I can read her email if I choose to.

I know some of her friends and kids from her former primary are on FB., but most of her closest friends are not and I would be having some words with her if she asked. Tbh I don't think she cares.

[mystery]

Glad I find out what DD did in ICT from you Reading Mum, as she didn't say and I've just asked her about the film.

DD is 11 and has no interest in FB. She knows I use it but because of the reasons I use it she doesn't see it as something she is interested in. She communicates with friends by email mostly, but doesn't remember that I can read her email if I choose to.

I know some of her friends and kids from her former primary are on FB., but most of her closest friends are not and I would be having some words with her if she asked. Tbh I don't think she cares.

I like dao comment that they have been with friends all day. So why log out of the family and in to facebook on return home? I wonder actually if they have really had much good time with friends at school? If virtual contact with friends is starting to take over from real life is it time as parents to invite the friends over so they can have real chats?

[Okanagan]

We're allowing it, albeit with considerable restrictions, which he knows and agrees to:
1 - we have the password to it and can log on and check activity
2 - no friends to be accepted without clearing it with us first
3 - no current school friends - only friends living in other parts of the country or in other countries (he has a lot of these courtesy of his sports activities), or friends from his sports clubs or his previous school who aren't at the same school he's at now

So far that's working as keeping it separate from school, but a useful tool to keep in touch with friends he won't see often. He's probably a little unusual for his age in having such a scattered, and non school based, friendship group though.

[Tinkers]

In my DDs case, she was in a group of 6 close friends at primary. They ended up at four different secondaries. So they don't see each other at school. They arrange to meet at the weekend so they start in touch. Only one of them is on FB. They manage through email, text and getting their mums to talk to each others mums on FB.

I do see the point though. If they have spent the day together, why spend ages on FB later, but that's no different to teenagers spending hours on the phone when I was younger. I didn't because I didn't see the point. I think DD is much the same.

[scarlett]

My older son has Facebook but it's all a bit half hearted thankfully. Looking at his, I have to say I'd be more worried about girls. There seems to be two poses they constantly post of themselves ( pouty and looking surprised ) accompanied by asking if "I'm hot or not " Most of the answers are gushing rather then the "no, you look ridiculous " that I'd be tempted to write. I do know two mothers at school who had a big b I t c h fest on Facebook.

I agree about the plugging in away from family too. I've banned these things from completely taking over. Ds has to spend time with us at weekends and communicate in the car. After the initial grump, he's fine and very good company. How things change. To plug myself away from my family when I was a teenager, I would put on my Walkman and hide in my walk in wardrobe.