Hi, can anyone advise on how much - if at all - they are involved in their Y8-Y11 homework or revision?

I am fairly uninvolved beyond helping DD plan a revision timetable and signposting her towards useful websites eg mrbartonmaths, but am slightly worried her revision technique is a bit poor. Have advised her on the learn, practice, apply method but am not actually checking up on how much she is following this or how well she is doing on the practice element. I have taken the approach to date since starting secondary that she needs to develop her own revision habits, processes, self reliance etc, through failure if necessary, but am now wondering if I am too 'hands off.' A friend told me she had to basically absorb the entire science gcse syllabus to help her kids get throught it (they got A*s) but I am almost the opposite in terms of assistance and am now wondering if I should be doing more to support. Would just be interested to hear how much or how little other parents do. Many thanks

I was more of a facilitator really - made sure they had the books / computers / trips to places / scissors and glue etc etc - helped out on occasions when a pair of hands was needed or when the lurgee struck just before something needed doing.

my kids did german gcse so lost me on day 1

I did science subjects but felt that I would only confuse myself further if I tried to get involved in what they were learning - I know that some of the biol A level was stuff I did at Uni

Re results: 22 GCSEs in all - 16 A* 6 A

This is what you call helicopter parenting - it is ridiculous. At what point does your friend think her dc might actually be able to learn something fro themselves? when they are at university? this is not 'help'- it is obsessive interference. It is also arrogant.

Your approach is much better OP; your dd will develop ways of learning independently which suit her. My dds just get on with it - I sometimes help with English IF THEY ASK and ditto maths, but otherwise I am hands off. If they do well , great - if they don't, they learn from their mistakes. Isn't that better than standing over your kids and stifling them?

I’m much the same as HM and Piggys. Much sure she has what she needs and let her get on with it. I can’t help with English, geography, music or german (dyslexic and subjects I didn’t do) anyway. ICT and textiles and reasonably practical but that’s at school and the theory stuff is straightforward. The only stuff I could help with is maths and science. Her best subjects are maths and chemistry, so rarely asks me for help, it’s more a case of she talks about the subject and we might add some real world context.

At some point they will be on their own with homework and revision, so they need to learn to be self sufficient before then, when they still have your support if they need it. Parents who are too hands on aren’t likely to be doing their DCs any favours in the long run.

I provide books, stationery (although not an endless supply of gel pens), healthy snacks and cups of tea. Oh and the occasional reminder that they really don't need a phone to work.

I'm happy to help if needed and asked but I've generally trusted them and the school. That said we're lucky they are in such supportive schools.

Thank you for your replies. They have been helpful... I will continue as things are.

I was going to add she is doing well attainment-wise although I suspect is not fully reaching her potential. I had been hoping this will come with time, particularly when gcses kick in (she is y8). I buy her stationery, and have got her a decent laptop. She is at a supportive school.

Y8 did seem to be an "easier" year for DS1 and DS2 slightly less. I am very handsxoff on the work front - I do buy stationery - revision cards are a favourite - and I cook.

DS1 has always been diligent....DS2 enjoys life far more but even he seems to have ramped up a gear in Y10. We do trust the school to help them (although if they ask us, we'll give it a go!) and to let us know if there are any issues.

I provide the stationary and have done some printing of past papers as my home office printer is better but it is at the bottom of the garden. When DD first looked at some science papers I played examiner (sat with the mark scheme) while she talked through what she would put down in an exam. I have had no involvement in homework or revision planning for years.
They have to work it out for themselves at some point so the earlier the better so that they can try and maybe fail and refine their approach before anything counts.

Two down, one to go, GCSE-wise, and I have yet to have anything to do with anyone's revision timetable other than my own back in the 1970s (and tbh, I can't really remember writing anything down then). Just asked DD if she holds it against me and got the response that her revision timetable was her responsibility, wasn't it? She did point out that at the school where side did her GCSEs (ditto DS1's, where DS2 will do his next year), they did a lot of revision in school time, so 'her' revision was much more, oh exam x is next week, I'd better go over that next'. 4A*/8s, 6A/7.

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