Moving at the end of Year 8

kenyancowgirl · Post by **kenyancowgirl** » Mon Mar 25, 2019 5:26 pm

And they definintely have spaces? I only say this as in our area it is very unusual for an outstanding school to have vacancies!

ourmaminhavana · Post by **ourmaminhavana** » Mon Mar 25, 2019 5:41 pm

Yes, I agree, it's very unusual, but think it may be because it's a faith school?

KB · Post by KB » Mon Mar 25, 2019 6:22 pm

Maybe speak to the school and see how they advise handling the visit issue.
They might be able to provide a student to help show your DD round the school and introduce her to other girls at break time, for example.

If you are prepared to delay if its really not right then going together and discussing it might work ok. You have the final decision but if your DD feels she has a say she may be less anti.
Ultimately you know her best so trust your instincts.

Once you've made a decision then be confident you arent being selfish or are going to do her harm. Many children have to move secondary school and probably pick up useful life skills as a result.

ourmaminhavana · Post by **ourmaminhavana** » Mon Mar 25, 2019 9:35 pm

Thanks KB, that's a great idea to have a pupil show her round, and introduce her to some other girls. I'm thinking I may offer her a girls' school too, which she's unlikely to go for as she doesn't want single sex ed, and that way she may feel she's making more of a choice?

KB · Post by KB » Mon Mar 25, 2019 10:24 pm

Seems like a good plan as long as you can live with it if she confounds you by choosing the single sex option

ourmaminhavana · Post by **ourmaminhavana** » Mon Mar 25, 2019 10:42 pm

Live with it? It would bankrupt me!

I'm very confident as she was totally anti going to one 18 months ago. Thanks KB. I feel much happier now than I did at the beginning of the day.

kenyancowgirl · Post by **kenyancowgirl** » Mon Mar 25, 2019 10:56 pm

Joking aside, if the single sex school is private and too deep for your pockets, then don’t offer it as a possibility. If she hates the idea of the other school, the teenage hormones might make her plump for the single sex because she knows you aren’t expecting it and, if you then can’t/don’t follow through, she may well take umbrage.

If you like the school you are considering, gently explain to her that it is a very good school in an area where you think you will all be happy. Coupled with (we hope) a positive show round she may buy in. But if you are the parent and make the decision it also means that if she takes a while to settle at least she won’t also be blaming herself for making a poor decision (yes, that blame might fall on you but actually that is better for her positive mental health in the long run!)

I have hope it will work out for you all.

ourmaminhavana · Post by **ourmaminhavana** » Mon Mar 25, 2019 11:10 pm

Thanks, KCG. That's an interesting perspective, as I felt giving her some say was a good thing, and help her to feel she has some small sense of control. Surely, it's better to show her two, if at all possible? If we offered it, we'd have to follow through with it. The difficulty is, if we only show her one I think it very likely she will reject it out of hand, based on the fact that she doesn't want to go...A joint decision, perhaps, although ideally I'd like to see it first?! Thanks, fingers crossed..

ToadMum · Post by **ToadMum** » Mon Mar 25, 2019 11:38 pm

ourmaminhavana wrote:Yes, I agree, it's very unusual, but think it may be because it's a faith school?

Not for us, but aren't they meant to be popular?

ourmaminhavana · Post by **ourmaminhavana** » Mon Mar 25, 2019 11:42 pm

Possibly, but maybe you need to meet certain criteria? I'm not sure.

Moving at the end of Year 8

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