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Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 8:02 pm
by GillyGillyOxenPepper
Just to reassure the forum - at my son's senior school the word 'retard' is just one of the cool words of the moment - nothing more than that. Its used whenever anyone does anything stupid (in their opinion!). My DS1 uses it all the time... just teenagers being teenagers!

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 9:27 pm
by Guest55
It's still unacceptable - sorry children should be told NOT to use this word ever.

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 9:46 pm
by katel
If my child used a word like this I would explain why it is unacceptable and hope very much that she would stop using it. I would certainly not condone it - and I would certainly not allow it to be used in my home.

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 9:54 pm
by Glos_Mum
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Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 10:15 pm
by laid back son worried mum
GillyGillyOxenPepper wrote:Just to reassure the forum - at my son's senior school the word 'retard' is just one of the cool words of the moment - nothing more than that. Its used whenever anyone does anything stupid (in their opinion!). My DS1 uses it all the time... just teenagers being teenagers!
OFF TOPIC: new thread?


I have to report that this is happening in my older son's school as we11, Gi11yGi11yOxenPepper!!

I must say that when I first heard it, my instant reaction was that of shock that youngsters woud even think of using that word to ca11 each other, even their friends.

I did what katel did with regards to the explanation and how unacceptable/derogratory it is to use the word. It was always brushed off with 'that is not what is meant when people use it - a slight to the disabled or impaired but merely a slang word for an 'idiotic' action or manner.

It is not a11owed in the house/car and the kiddos know I disapprove of it and yet I do catch it now and then. They can't see what the fu55 is about , despite me asking them to use another word... but was informed that that is not the same.

I had the same with the word 'gay' in junior school and senior school. The teachers have also punished any boy they have overheard using the term. A11 the boys say that that is not what they mean when they fling the word around. I found that very hard to swa11ow but apparently this article shows what is going on:

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/ ... 671972.ece


It is very difficult of course to know then, if you hear these terms whether it is used in the modern/ teen vernacular or is actua11y a derogatory term directed and meant to hurt, as in the case of verbal bu11ying.

That is why I te11 my kiddos not to use them as it can be taken one way or the other.

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 10:51 pm
by chad
I have had a conversation with my son over the word 'retard'.... he said that he has used it before (when someone in my group has really annoyed me by doing something stupid) but he knows that it is not a nice word to use and uses 'you plank' now. So yes I have installed in him that I don't appreciate the use but he HAS used it within his social group.

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:08 pm
by laid back son worried mum
Thanks chad.

The teen view is that the definition of 'retard' is 'slow down'..

so when a person does something absolutely ridiculous or pointle55, their brains have slowed down to the point when they wi11 get their mates tota11y infuriated (picture steam coming out of ears)..so it means 'not very clever, then, is it?'

so I said, "why don't you just say not very clever, then, is it then?"

whereupon I get, "Everybody says it and it doesn't mean anything bad."

whereupon they get the old, " so if someone jumps off a cliff, do you...."

whereupon I get, " as if I'd do that!"

whereupon I think , " where have my babies gone?" :cry:

Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 9:45 am
by T.i.p.s.y
LBSWM - My babies are long gone - well at least one is! :cry:

When I moved to Norfolk I thought that my kids would be more sheltered (that's not why I moved) because life is much slower and laid back. Well my youngest has learned so many foul words in his prep school and he is called Gay Retard (age 7) all the time; unfortunately it is meant in the correct way! My other son who is at school in Berkshire, where you would think it was a more savy environment because the school has a lot of London boys, has been in trouble for calling someone a "Softie" because the kid had a side-parting! :lol: He only learnt this word from the Beano - my fault. :oops: What I don't understand is where are these kids getting these words from. Yes some have older siblings but surely lots of parents are not filtering out what they are watching!

Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:14 am
by zorro
As the mother of a DD with learning difficulties I would be horrified to hear anyone using this word ( retard).
It is completely unacceptable and I am glad to see that most of you have forbidden your DC to use it.

Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 11:34 am
by fm
As the mother of a son with learning difficulties who has occasionally had this charming word directed at him, I can assure you that it is still a very hurtful term. It is only amusing banter when it involves children who are not slow in any way (just merely crass).