Transfer to Grammar School

[hopeforthebest]

hi jet. I have sent you a PM.

[Bad Dad]

Just in response to the question on what action I took when my son got roughed up on the school bus on the first day: I didn't do anything other than tell him how brilliant he was to shrug it off and come home full of enthusiasm about the first day at Big School. It is a big old world out there, and they need to learn to roll with the odd punch or unkind word from other children without parents stepping in. I think we wrap up children in cotton wool too much these days. Surely at age of 11, they should be able to cope with a new school and a bus ride. We are all keen for academic success for our children, which is great, but don't you also think that a bit of mental and physical toughness will go a long way? I know plenty of children who freak out at the suggestion that they might be required to do anything outside their "comfort zone". I blame the decline of competitive sport and the fact that many have very little opportunity for unsupervised outdoor play with other children these days.

Having said that, if the roughness developed into repetitive bullying, I would step in - either by contacting the school or by taking matters into my own hands - whichever was the most effective. As it happens, I found out later that the bus driver reported the incident to the school and the culprits were reprimanded and threatened with withdrawal of their bus passes, so it looks like the school have got things under control.

[laid back son worried mum]

you obviously have a got a boy who knows when to ask for help..seeing as he didn't particularly 'burden' you with that particular incident. Bravo!

The danger is a shy child might feel inadequate if he 'told' and bu11ied if he did not.

So much for balancing the both...eyes and ears open a11 the time to what we need to do or must leave we11 alone...who'd be parents, Bad Dad?

Good school, BTW..

[Charlotte67]

Bad Dad,

I agree with much of what you've said but feel very strongly that physical violence should always be reported.

Great that the driver & school took the incident seriously.

Charlotte

[Belinda]

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[jet]

Thank you for all your helpful advice and suggestions. I must say that I feel so much better having read all your posts – some of which were very amusing!

DD has calmed down and is trying to eat more to help sustain her energy levels throughout the day. She’s also going to bed earlier than usual (without any fuss, which is unheard of)! DD had two pieces of homework last night and happily got on with them. She’s also mentioned one or two girls in her form, who know mutual friends, and they seem to be starting to form some friendships, so there doesn’t seem to be a problem there.

We haven’t resolved the bus situation yet but I’m sure that we will, given time. There are two buses that DD can take home and one of them goes directly to our village, although it is a longer journey. DD, on her own initiative, actually asked the bus driver to confirm the destination of the bus, to establish in her own mind which bus to get! We’ve also talked about the bus “hierarchyâ€

[Road Runner]

Hi Jet

So glad to hear things are getting better for your dd.

Also wanted to thank you for answering recent question to myself.

"what is the obsession with biscuits and wine??"

Clearly this whole 11+ things is getting to me and rather then stressing out infront of dd I am confiding in cookies and dry white

Thank goodness atleast I know why now

Mel

[laid back son worried mum]

Dear jet,

I am so pleased to hear the waters are calmer now.

Your post is so lovely and every bit wi11 ring true with some one on the Forum.

For me, it is the bit when you said you were a bit naive about the transition to big school being 'hitch-free'..

It reminds me of when I was awaiting the arrival of my first-born..
it was so exciting and a11 the preparations, reading up and getting in the mindset for parenthood were there. Bring it on, I said!

But when he came (and a11 the practical and emotional bits that came with him ) it was not plain sailing... I was nearly sunk and went under many times.

Thank you for reminding us that worrying comes with being a parent and doing something about our worries is what makes us great parents.

Hope to hear now and then that things are getting better and better.


Love

LBSWM

[laid back son worried mum]

Your post is so lovely and every bit wi11 ring true with some one on the Forum.

obviously for Mel X, it is the chocolate and wine bit!

[jet]

I’m all for comfort food at times of stress – the diet can wait a bit longer!