Teacher thinks my DD may be Autistic

[mystery]

Glad you've got the Ed Psch on Monday. I don't know that at this point the Ed Psych will be expecting any questions from you. I guess they should observe your daughter in school to see what the problem is that the teacher is trying to get sorted. Then when the assessment has been done, you should be able to ask the Ed Psych to explain what adjustments are required in the classroom to improve your child's learning, and what you can do at home to help.

Did the maths work that came home undone reveal anything to you? I so wish that my child's school would send home uncompleted or misunderstood work. Child is more likely to learn to complete in class if they possibly can, and ask for help if necessary, if the other option is doing it at home in their own time, and also it gives you the parent a great chance to see what is going on.

What was the topic? What did your daughter not understand do you think? Was the layout clear? To your knowledge is it stuff that you think she could normally do, or does it look way beyond her current maths skills? Could she do it at home? Did your daughter explain to you why she couldn't do it at school?

[mystery]

What did she get in maths at end KS1?

[Midget Man]

Found out yesterday that the ed psych is not coming to observe my DD, only coming to speak with her teacher after school She could have had this conversation back in October when she first contacted her, I am absolutely gutted!

Now I really need to know what I should be pressing for and what I should be asking, things need to get done. DD was 2A at KS1 Mystery, but I believe it's more to do with having so many instructions that she will immediately say "I can't do it" or start panicking and then get nothing done. Since being forced to write joined up her writing is barely legible and usually written half way throguh the line, can I simply get DD to just write normally again? Is it really necessary for her to do it joined up?

I did a reading age on her and she was exactly 3yrs ahead, spelling is good, can easily do english books I have bought, understands it all. Just seems that she starts to panic mentally and can often then just start chatting or get nothing done because of it.

[mystery]

OK so she did above average in maths at KS1 with a 2a. 2b is average.

What is the SENCO saying? Don't they have any help in school for children who are not progressing before they call in outside services - which as you have seen is taking forever and may not in any case be needed. Is there a specialist teaching service for your LEA that the school can call in more easily than the Ed Psych - usually shorter waiting lists and less costly. Your daughter is clearly not an emergency, but in the meantime it sounds as though her education is suffering.

What were her English scores?

My gut feeling is that you need to take the same action as you would if the teacher had not said you child may have autism and needs to see an Ed Psych. What would you have done if instead they had said to you that she is not working at school?

How did she get on at home with the maths she did not do at school?

What are the school predicting her NC levels to be at the end of Year 3? In maths, reading and writing. Have you seen all her school books recently? I think you should be given a decent period of time, both parents with the class teacher, going through all her work, progress this year etc. I think you should have some time at home to see her books. The school may not agree to any of this but it's worth asking. You have a right to complain to Governors too.

Can you afford a private tutor? Are both parents working or has one parent got the time to work with her after school? Does the school have volunteers who go in and work one to one with children during the day? Ask for one of these if all the information shows that your daughter is not progressing and for some reason the teacher does not get through to your daughter.

Of course she can go back to writing printed. If your daughter is happy with this, and she can still produce good working with printed writing, tell the school this is what you are going to do. If they think things are such that they need your daughter to be assessed they should be willing to take some common sense approaches in the meantime.

Your daughter can learn joined up writing during the summer holiday.

What does your daughter say to you is the reason for all of this? Has she been moved down a table to sit with friends who she prefers, so she is pretending to be incapable at home and at school?

Does she like this school? Can you move school? Is there something else going on in your lives which is affecting her?

[mystery]

Sorry to come back again, but it all just doesn't quite stack up, and you shouldn't have to wait for an Ed Psych - there's loads of things schools and parents can do without having a "diagnosis". At this rate you are going to wait and wait, and potentially just to find out there is nothing "wrong" with your daughter.

Phone your local parent partnership - get the number from your LEA. Maybe there's some way you can send in a fly on the wall who is cheaper than an Ed Psych to observe your child in class and see what's going on if the school will allow this. Is there another parent who volunteers in the class who can spill the beans?

What does your daughter enjoy reading?

Why doesn't the school do VR tests as well as NVR? Have you tried speaking to the head as well as the SENCO to get a complete picture. It all sounds very strange at the moment. Do you get to speak to the Ed Psych when the teacher meets him / her on Monday? If not, will the school give you note of the information they passed to the Ed Pysch on your daughter - Data Protection and all of that - I am sure you have some rights.

Schools usually try to do something in school before they progress outwards. Have you read their relevant policy documents?

Why is this all being done directly by the teacher - is she also the SENCO?

[Midget Man]

Hi Mystery, Not sure my DD really knows why she does or doesn't do it. just doesn't seem able to process things to begin making a start and will then panic and not get anything done. The teacher is not the Senco, I asked briefly the other day what the senco's opinion is of DD and it's the same as the teacher's. Teacher seem's to have tried everything she knows with her, but has said herself that she's never had a child quite like her

He reading was 3 at KS1 and is currently reading 'Heroes of Olympus the Lost Hero' and anything by Morpurgo, oh and her encylopedia. Is very intelligent I think but is clearly not able to put all this down on paper, depending on how she is emotionally as well. Sometimes will have a good morning, but then a bad afternoon. She does not sleep well now either, she'll just be chatting or reading for a long time as just isn't tired??

I told the teacher I would be coming on Monday, I was never actually invited I have tried doing work with her at home, but one piece of maths took 2 hours once because she just put a mental block on and really could not see how to do it, yet the following day was then able to. If I can find better ways to help teach her then I would be very happy to do that and will continue doing that.

[stevew61]

I have tried doing work with her at home, but one piece of maths took 2 hours once because she just put a mental block on and really could not see how to do it, yet the following day was then able to. If I can find better ways to help teach her then I would be very happy to do that and will continue doing that.

That struck a chord with me and battles with DS2.

By accident I discovered that if Ds2 had spent an hour doing physical exercise, for us it was rugby on Sunday mornings, then he could concentrate on work.

I remember one Sunday afternoon when he completed twenty pages of maths, half the year's work, I was desperate for a break but remembered the seize the moment and carry on making progress technique.

Sadly I do not think you will get much joy from the LEA ed psyc. they tend to be busy fire fighting pressing problems.

Happily I think your DC with your support has all the basic building blocks to flourish.

[Midget Man]

[By accident I discovered that if Ds2 had spent an hour doing physical exercise, for us it was rugby on Sunday mornings, then he could concentrate on work.

See, this is another thing we struggle with, DD refuses point blank to do any sports, we have tried desperately, not even a family game of rounders on the field. Still can't/refuses to ride a bike without stabilisers, whole body freezes and shakes.

She has started learning to play the trumpet since September, I thought if she could learn to cope with that as reading music etc is not easy, then could help her mentally believe she can do other things. So far so good, started beginners windband last week, was bit panicky to begin with but defo wants to go back.

[mystery]

I still don't understand, she got a level 3 in reading last year (well above average), a 2a in maths (above average), what did she get in writing? How can this teacher "never have had anyone like her before" if the reception teacher, year 1 teacher and year 2 teacher never noticed anything, and she must have concentrated for them.

Has the SENCO observed your daughter in class? Has anyone tried to support her in class and get her going when she apparently gets stuck or refuses to get on the with the work?

Is it a particular type of work that she panics with? Can you see from her books which pieces of work she got on with and which pieces of work she refused to get on with?

What levels are they predicting for end of Year 3? What ability tests have they done other than NVR which you said she scored highly on?

Is there a parallel class that your daughter can move into if it is just this teacher's style that does not suit your daughter? Who is she sitting with at school? Are they destroying her concentration? What has the school or teacher tried? You say this teacher has tried everything - has she really or is she just telling you this? Are other people in her class doing well?

I detest rounders (can't hit the ball, never will be able to and my children take after me) and my daughter won't cycle without stabilisers - she did for a short while but my OH destroyed her confidence, said the wrong thing, argued with her over it, put the saddle up too high, and now she can't even remember that she cracked it herself at school, with no help when she was in reception. She likes to learn her own way, in her own time, he is not patient enough and cannot understand the fear. Some children think too much. There are other forms of sport and exercise. Just let her enjoy the bike in her own time with stabilisers on when she wants to ride it. One day she'll want the stabilisers off. This is what I am hoping with mine. Mine was a bottom shuffler and is incredibly well co-ordinated for some things, and not for others. Everybody learns differently, thinks differently. She sounds clever.

Does the Year 3 teacher pressurise her? Has she told your daughter off or humiliated her in some way? It sounds like she is scared now at school.

You can't spend 2 hours on a piece of maths you are stuck on, at any age. It is better in this situation to put it to one side, to say never mind, I'll make a note on this for the teacher that you got a little bit stuck here and she will have a better way than me of explaining it to you, or if it is not due in the next day, say you can have another go at it tomorrow if you want. If daughter is just shamming, this will make her have a go at it.

In the ideal world homework should be consolidation and schoolwork should be breaking the new ground. Unfortunately this is not always the case. One of my children gets homework in year 2 containing questions on topics that I am 99% certain she has never been taught in school. Because I am concerned that the school is probably not getting through the syllabus I teacher her the extras at home before giving her the impossible questions. Really though we should probably just miss those questions out. But I have a good think beforehand about how to make a game or something practical , and maybe some much easier questions that lead in to the difficult question. I have the time to do this, but you probably haven't.

Maths is a subject where it is very easy to lose confidence and then get blocks which come and go. I would suggest Kumon maths to you in this instance. My instinct is to shy away from it as it sounds tedious and dull, but I think it may have a confidence building effect for your daughter. It may take her a while at Kumon to get to the point that it starts to pull up her school work, but you will reach that point, and you will be avoiding the conflict between you and your daughter. She will have easy material to complete regularly and independently and she will score close to 100% on everything.

What is scaring her off the literacy tasks the teacher sets? It may be simply be the task of writing joined up as you have described. She needs freeing from this for a while to see if she reverts back to her previous standards of content in her writing. Then she needs a handwriting programme ......... the school should be able to do this. She can't be the only one. The school could set up a lunchtime handwriting club, or there may be some skilled volunteers who can work with your daughter.

Whatever the outcome of the assessments these things will need doing anyway. She is not magically going to start to handwrite well because someone gives her a label of aspergers or dyspraxia or anything else. And she doesn't sound like she's at the level of special needs that will attract any extra funding into the school - her attainment is way too high.

Is your daughter well incorporated into this school in some meaningful way such that you would not wish to change her school? If not, I would go on waiting lists for other schools in the area you like the look of.

Good luck on Monday. Glad you are going, interesting you weren't invited. Keep notes. Apply your commonsense to all of this and don't be blinded by educational jargon and pseudo-science.

In parallel to the school route, you could also try going down the medical route as others have suggested; get a paediatrician referral from your GP.

Of course, after Monday you may all decide your daughter does not need assessing. But then you and the school still need to address the problems that seem to be going on in the classroom.

Your child sounds as though she might still respond to stickers - lovely ones. Can you think of a simple system you can agree with the class teacher so that you know whether to give her a beautiful sticker for being a great starter at school that day? If the teacher will agree to this, you can have a lovely trip out with your daughter where she chooses the most beautiful stickers ever, carries them home, and then you put them away ready to be awarded each day when she makes a great start on her work, or asks for help when she's stuck.

Teachers and sencos don't know everything. Some schools have the most desperate sencos, madder and with more learning disabilities than all of their special needs pupils put together. I have done volunteering for one such senco. The sooner she was off round the corner and I could do something useful with the child the better. Mostly the children I helped were too tired, or badly taught, or had something unhappy going on at home, or were not rewarded when they did make an effort.

[mystery]

Oh and another word of warning. Don't assume that Ed Pyschs have a great manner with children. Some do, some don't. If you want your child to open up to another adult about what is going on you might be better choosing a doctor or such like that she gets on with. Does she seem otherwise well? Could there be a few things stressing her without her even realising? You mention she does not sleep as well as usual. I really would go to a nice doctor as my first port of call.