Teacher thinks my DD may be Autistic

[pixiequeen]

Midget Man,

I tried to quote your post where you list the traits your DD has that you think might be dyspraxia but can't work out how to do it!

What I wanted to say was that my DD1 is dyspraxic and in Year 3 had all the traits you mention except the dislike of eye contact (which may suggest some autistic traits -my niece in Sweden has been referred to an Ed Pysch because she refuses to maintain eye contact with the adults at the nursery she attends. She was diagnosed border line Aspergers) and the over emotional response/sullenness (could this just be personality though? My DD2 is like this - especially at home - cries at the drop of a hat, shouts, stamps, jumps up and down in excitement - she's year 3 too.)

DD1 is now year 6 and has learnt to cope with a lot of her dyspraxia. We are currently giving her lots of help at home with 'guided reading' because it involves group discussion which she seems unable to follow or contribute to. This is due to her having 'auditory processing disorder' as well as dyspraxia....ears can hear, brain works fine, but the connections between the two get scrambled.

Your DD sounds like a lovely little girl. It may be that she is border line autistic/aspergers and dyspraxic and probably other things too. I wouldn't worry if she sometimes seems a little odd compared to other kids. DD1 is the same, but has lots of friends. I do explain her quirks to new teachers though - I let a swimming teacher shout himself blue in the face for a whole term trying to get my DD1's attention when she was swimming before I remembered to explain he needed to get her full attention before talking to her as she can't distinguish easily between the teacher's voice and the background noise in the swimming pool.

One of the tests for dyspraxia and Occ. Health. worker did with DD1 - Can your DD close her eyes and touch the tip of her nose with her index finger, or does she miss? Dyspraxic kids don't know what their body is doing unless they can see it!

Sorry Midget Man, you posted just before me - still going to post mine though!

Pixiequeen

[Midget Man]

Thank you Pixie Queen. Is very good to know that whatever the outcome may be, there are lot's of people on here willing to offer both their story and some great advice!

I did receive a call this evening saying "Is my DD sure she want's to make her promise next week at Brownies?" Apparently she has been panicking alot, wouldn't try and do a badge last week, but she's adamant she want's to do it, but I feel like the Wren and perhap's other parent's may get tired of her ways Also questioned a sleepover they are having this month, is she likely to cry? If she start's doing that they will call for me to come and get her She's fine with thing's like that though, would be more likely to cry when having to come back home to me

[markusha]

No-one has mentioned ADD, but much of the description sounds very close to our DS, who has ADD, characterised particularly by lack of concentration and childish behaviour etc. Yes, he also has poor motor skills and speech delay, and when you look at everything together it can look a bit like hign funcitioning autism, but these can also be developmental difficulties that go along with ADD. Of course, all these things may be related (i.e. a similar cause), and some recent research lends some support to that theory.

[yoyo123]

Adhd, dyslexia, dyspraxia and ASD are all thought to be related and certainly some children display symptoms of more than one of these..on a course I went to they talked of the Autistic Umbrella encompassing several of these developmental disorders, rather than a spectrum

[Midget Man]

Thanks everyone. I really just want to know if she has some sort of learning problem so I can then start dealing with it as quickly as possible. Teacher think's it will be done before xmas, I just hope we aren't left waiting for much longer after this time

[Amber]

Thanks everyone. I really just want to know if she has some sort of learning problem so I can then start dealing with it as quickly as possible. Teacher think's it will be done before xmas, I just hope we aren't left waiting for much longer after this time

Just a tiny, but I promise you, well-intentioned word of caution, MM. Be a bit careful what you wish for. A name, or a label for this condition, if indeed it is a condition and not just a quirky set of personality characteristics which make your little girl who she is, comes at a price. It is not a magic wand which will cause everything to fall into place, and her needs to be met automatically. Some parents never get a name for what causes their child's problems, and some do - but the outcomes aren't necessarily any different depending on which group you fall into. Every child has a right to have their voice heard, whether or not there is a recognised 'condition' which makes them behave in a certain way. A label like ADD, or autism, or Aspergers carries with it certain stereotypes in the minds of some professionals, who might not be trained as you would hope; you will still have to be on the ball and looking out for her; but we do that for all our children, don't we? , because they are all special human beings. Whatever comes out of this, whether or not anything 'definite' is found to be 'wrong' with your little one, I doubt you will ever feel it has been 'dealt with', any more than you feel that any other child's issues are sorted. Does this make sense? She won't need your support, or that of her teachers, any more or any less, whatever the Ed Psych says, because she, like all children, has a unique set of needs.

[Midget Man]

I know it would not be a magic wand, I am too realistic for that I have learnt never to assume anything, but I will try everything I can resource wise if things are found and all the research I can do to help her even more than I already do.

[tiredmum]

A name, or a label for this condition, if indeed it is a condition and not just a quirky set of personality characteristics which make your little girl who she is, comes at a price. It is not a magic wand which will cause everything to fall into place, and her needs to be met automatically. Some parents never get a name for what causes their child's problems, and some do - but the outcomes aren't necessarily any different depending on which group you fall into. Every child has a right to have their voice heard, whether or not there is a recognised 'condition' which makes them behave in a certain way. A label like ADD, or autism, or Aspergers carries with it certain stereotypes .

i so agree with this point amber - my dd2 is very individual and does well at school - i wonderd a few years ago if i should investigate futher her poor balance, concenetration, motor skills etc. I did in so far to sign her up for dance and trampoline - and as the years went on its just worked out well for her - she is very good at what she is good at and this does not include sport

[wurzel]

Amber, you're a mind reader. I was just sitting here trying to think how to ask about this exact thing.
I've posted before about my DS1. He's yr 9 at a grammar. He's basically doing well at school, very bright, and when he puts his mind to something he can be brilliantly creative. This is the point though - a lot of the time he doesn't put his mind to anything. He has a long collection of 'symptoms' that sound like every one of these disorders under the sun - illegible handwriting, clumsy, high anxiety, flies into rages or gets depressed, can't remember to read instructions, write down homework or do it to deadline, forgets and loses things, few friends, poor motivation, doesn't know the names of people we've lived next-door to for 10 years, extremely rigid, oppositional and stubborn etc. At times I've thought he has ADD, Aspergers, dyspraxia, you name it. We did have him assessed for ADHD but were told no, not that.

We're not terrible parents, though we make plenty of mistakes, and our other son is different (easier). It's really hard to know whether we should look for some sort of assessment. I find that very careful, supportive parenting is slowly but surely having a positive impact on a lot of these problems, and I've been told that a diagnosis wouldn't make much difference to suggested strategies. Also, maybe DS is just growing up and learning to cope a bit better. He might not have a recognised disorder; it may just be that he has a 'difficult' character.

We went to CAMHS initially because of behavioural problems. They helped me quite a lot with suggestions of things to try, but DS found their involvement humiliating. I think I would only try for a professional opinion again if it was going to have a significant positive impact for DS, or for us (it's emotionally draining, caring for such a child). He copes with school quite well now, although he dislikes it and finds some of the social aspects awkward, and we decided that as long as he continues to cope, we will leave it at that. I use the internet and books to look for ways to help him at home.

I hope I haven't hijacked this thread. What Amber said chimed so well with my own thoughts at the time that I had to reply.

[Fluffy66]

I wholeheartedly agree with what Amber and wurzel have said about a label not always being any use and indeed it can be a hinderence. Our experience has been totally the opposite. My only comment would be that i have heard at support groups for ASD/AS etc time and time again that the child knows they are different and have struggled with that feeling only to be made happier by knowing that the reason they are different actually has a name.

ASD is a spectrum disorder (we are all on it somewhere - i live by my lists for example ). It was described to me as a wheel with all the different spokes coming from the middle. A child may only have traits from 1/2 spokes and these traits show somewhere along the length of that particular spoke - maybe higher up, therefore more severe and maybe lower down and so visable but minor and copeable. Or a child at the more severe end of the spectrum may show many traits/spokes to different degrees, but not all of them. I always use this example with people who have no knowledge of ASDs and it seems to help them understand the complexitites of the disorder.

Flufffy