How do to deal with bad reference from DC's school

[mystery]

Yes, unless that sequence of events is correct, I still fail to understand why you left / were forced to leave the independent school that your son had started.

Why did you leave the independent? There is no way on earth that the primary head or the local authority could force you to give up a place at an independent school that you were paying for. If you feel they did, you were lied to. Can't you go back to that independent school if you make very clear the version of events and provide them with solid evidence that your child could manage there? Your son passed the entrance exam, you can quickly get an E P report which shows he could manage at secondary school without 1:1 help. You could demand a copy of the reference using the requisite laws and see if the content of it was truthful.

You say your son started to attend the independent school this September. Did he manage on those days without support? Did the school have concerns as a result of his time in school (before the primary head started to worry them with his bad report)? Do they have some kind of support system for him if he needs it, and who would pay for that?

I am guessing that your son was on Ritalin in the past. Horrible stuff unless it is really necessary. Why was he prescribed Ritalin for mild ADHD? And if the statement is about ADHD why is there a speech therapist at the annual review and no-one from CAMSH. Did you have the opportunity to ask for the statement to be ended?

I am not getting at you. Please understand. I have had bonkers things said to me by a school so I know that all things are possible when a head is feeling determined about something or other.

Was the school you wanted naming at the annual review state or independent? Is a school named on your statement?

Good luck.

[KusKus Mum]

Yes, the sequence of event is correct. We took our Son out because School B Headteacher said (after the second day and several calls from School A Headteacher)he might need extra support and the council was not willing to transfer the additional support to School B. We cannot afford to pay for extra support on top of the school fees.
He was never put on Ritalin as the Paediatrician said he does not need Ritalin. He was never put on any medication though I give him Omega to help his concentration.

He had delayed language and ADHD in year 1 and I think he is well over that now as he speaks and comprehend well above his age now. His reading age is 14. The school this maintains the same statement from year 1 . We have never had anyone from CAMHS at the annual review.

I mentioned the schools i wanted in year 5 AR but no school has been named on the statement as of now. School A HeadTeacher has been giving bad references to all the schools we have applied to for Year 7.
This is why I am here to seek advice on what to to.

[Sally-Anne]

Hi KusKus Mum

Yes, the sequence of event is correct.

Thank you for confirming that.

We took our Son out because School B Headteacher said (after the second day and several calls from School A Headteacher)he might need extra support and the council was not willing to transfer the additional support to School B.

I am shocked and rather surprised that the Head of School B took such action after only 2 days. Firstly, it left them with a vacant place and missing fees and, secondly, I would have expected the school to make their own, independent assessment of your son. What exactly did Head B say to you? Did you request that School B's SENCo should assess your son's needs before you were asked to pay for additional support?

School A HeadTeacher has been giving bad references to all the schools we have applied to for Year 7.
This is why I am here to seek advice on what to to.

Are these written references? Have you seen them? If not, you have the right to request a copy of your son's school record, which should contain the references. Details of how to do that are here:
http://www.ico.gov.uk/for_organisations ... gland.ashx" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

That would at least give you the opportunity to refute and/or correct any misleading statements that Head A is making about him.

May we assume that your son will leave School A at the end of Year 6, and therefore the Head will lose this additional funding then anyway? Where will he be going after Year 6 if you are unable to secure a place at an independent school?

Sally-Anne

[KusKus Mum]

Thanks Sally Anne . We have closed school B chapter now as he is back in School A . I will request for his records now. We have applied to State boarding schools and we are waiting for Bucks result. If he cannot get to any of our preferred schools, the only other option is a local comprehensive school which is the worse school in our area and I don't see him making any progress at the local comprehensive school.

We have advised the council that we are willing to pay the boarding fees if he gets admission into any of the state boarding school. Some of this schools have now cancelled the interviews because of the bad references given by his Headteacher.

We are worried about the references the teacher will give to the other independent school and my son is working so hard at the moment. He will be sitting some exams in January.

[Sally-Anne]

We have advised the council that we are willing to pay the boarding fees if he gets admission into any of the state boarding school. Some of this schools have now cancelled the interviews because of the bad references given by his Headteacher.

I assume that the cancellations of interviews at the state boarding schools were advised to you in writing? If so, please can you let us know the precise wording given in the letter(s) as to why an interview was now being refused?

If you prefer to send that information to me via PM (Private Message), you are welcome to. To do that, just click on the button on this post marked "PM".

[mystery]

KusKus Mum, if everything is as you say, you've got to stand up to this headteacher in a professional and legal way. The motivation for her not to lose your child in year 6 is clear - the money - but I cannot for the life of me understand why someone should be so nasty as to send bad references to year 7 schools, but I'm sure it is not beyond the realms of possibility. You need to get straight exactly what your rights are in this respect and exercise them. If necessary, the headteacher may have to withdraw her false references that she has sent to these other schools.

This is not meant as criticism but you seemed to roll over with both the independent school and the headteacher in sending your child back from school B to school A. School B should have been told that your son did not need support - it that is indeed the case - and if they considered that he did there should have been an assessment process at the independent school to show that he did. Does School B have any examples from his start there in September to indicate that he did need support? Was the head at the independent a friend of your head? If all is as you suspect, it all sounds very nasty.

Then if you were not able to pay the support fees, and they had no legal duty to adapt their teaching to your son's needs, then it should have all been done rather more formally at the independent school than just giving you your money back and asking you to go away. What happened with the school uniform?

I'm sure you should be able to see these references - either from your primary headteacher, or from the school to which you are applying - some things can be witheld though, so it might all be little greyer than one might hope. Check out your rights.

What's happening with the useless private Ed Psych you have asked to assess your child? There shouldn't be such a terrible delay. Is it because he needs to see your child in school and your headteacher is making it awkward? Get an assessment done at home. If the school is saying that he is a problem in class then the fact that they won't let someone in immediately to see this makes it clear that they are probably lying.

Have you complained to the Governors or are they not very "separate" from the head?

The only interpretation I can find is that the head is aware that they have milked the statementing money now for several years, and it's embarrassing if your son goes off with great results to a good school needing no support when she has been claiming this for several years. Otherwise, it would seem to be inexcusable if your son really does not need this support.

[mystery]

Mmm just thinking ....

Also you said the primary school was misquoting his National Curriculum levels ... can you tell us a bit more about that?

I really do hope you succeed in putting a stop to it. I strongly feel that you should be able to go back to the independent he started at this September. Did you like it? Does it carry on through to A level? Mind you, having treated you the way you did is not great. What did they say when you explained to them that in your view your son needed no support and the statement was way out of date in its requirements .... year 1 even. No wonder a child whose language was behind couldn't concentrate in year 1. How did the school swing full-time support for that though, even in year 1? Didn't you feel it was overkill at the time? And at 4 subsequent annual reviews what were you told about your child's behaviour to indicate that he still needed this level of support?

When CAMSH signed your son off were they saying that he no longer had ADHD, or that the full-time help in school was sorting the problem so he didn't need to visit CAMSH again?

Have you requested all your son's school record from all the different bodies that information has been shared with e.g. SALT, CAMSH etc?