DD has self-diagnosed Aspergers

[moved]

We were told when DS was in year 8 that he had Aspergers and that a diagnosis wasn't necessary. I wish we had got one as I think it may have helped him. School life for him was in his words '****'!

The diagnosis given to him was 'social difficulties' and he attended a 'club' to help him. The label helped him more than anything else really but I wouldn't let it be an excuse. He often said, 'People like me...'
In yr 9 we were told that he didn't need the intervention anymore although they had said that no progress had been made.

I'm not in a position to know whether or not DS has Aspergers or if a proper diagnosis would have helped. I'm just glad that at 18 and in a different school he feels more comfortable.

[mystery]

This is a curious thread. It is quite shocking - yes, you do need to follow it up with school. Someone on here suggested your daughter may have told them she had asperger's .

I think you need to find out how the label on the passport and the classroom recommendations were arrived at. And if they thought your dd officially had aspergers, should this be in gear passport for all to seem and is the advice to staff on questioning technique as good as it might be?

Even if a child had correctly diagnosed asperger's, And the parents knew this, ñam not sure I would be happy with lots about this scenario you have described.

Is the bullying sorted? Is this a longstanding issue?

[stroudydad]

jmc, just clutching at straws here: the phrase "I have Aspergers" isn't in your daughter's handwriting, is it?

I ask because if it is, the measures put in place for the classroom might be entirely reasonable, and she could have gilded the lily by attributing her shyness to Aspergers without the staff member's knowledge.

A shocking thread, but I have to say That this was the first thought that popped into my head, but hadn't been brave enough to post it...

[jmc]

No, it's a typed and laminated card. x

[Sally-Anne]

No, it's a typed and laminated card. x

Oh, dear. I was hoping against hope that there might be a simpler explanation.

Although you mention in your first post that many of your family tend to have Aspergers-like traits, please don't allow that to diminish the seriousness of what has happened here, or somehow excuse it.

A child has been labelled with a serious, life-long disorder by someone with (we believe) no appropriate qualifications and without any evidence whatsoever to justify the label.

I think you need to re-read this thread before talking to the school, and really take on board just how shocked many very long-standing forum members are on your behalf (particularly Snowdrops, who is certainly not a "ranter" by nature ), and also the comments of several members who work in the field of SEN.

Although you have been pleased with the school so far, which is great, they have messed up big time here, and they are going to have to work extremely hard to put matters right. That doesn't just comprise a fulsome apology to you; it also means working with your daughter to undo the potentially enormous damage done, and to create a proper plan to support her both emotionally and academically from here.

[kenyancowgirl]

I am equally astonished and disheartened by this thread and the school's apparent idiocy...I can't think of any other way to describe it!

I would, as Sally Ann suggests, re-read the thread before going into school to find out more. i would probably start my questioning by asking where the phrase "I have Asperger's" came from, however. Even though it is a typed laminated card, it is just possible that, in a conversation with a member of staff your daughter told them quite forcefully that "I have Asperger's" and they may well have believed her (it is not something that a lot of children at that age are aware of, unless they have had some contact in some form) and typed it in in good faith. I'm not saying this is what happened - I'm almost hoping it is, as although still having very poor implications, it is minutely better than someone with little relevant experience or expertise diagnosing something w*lly n*lly.

Good luck - please do let us know the outcome.

[Guest55]

If there had been a proper diagnosis then a card would be superfluous as staff would have been trained in how to support her.

Parents would have been consulted in drawing up any support plan and external professionals would be involved.

As someone with over thirty yeears in education, I just cannot imagine any scenario where this would be appropriate,

OP, please go into school tomorrow with lots of questions; ask them and then let rip.

[Snowdrops]

If there had been a proper diagnosis I would be expecting the parents to tell the school. I would certainly expect the school, if the child had stated they had ANY SEN, to verify what the child has said (unless aged 16 or over, but even then out of curtesy they should).

I admit I have been known to rant, but I would like to think I only ever rant when justified. What's happened here is so wrong. I despair of people, I really do. My middle daughter is mentally handicapped. It's quite obvious when you speak to her, or observe her for any length if time. We spent two full days seeing all sorts of specialists as well as many, many meetings with psychologists to determine what she should be 'labelled' with. if someone has labelled this child with no experience, no consultation and no authority then the very least that needs to happen is a sacking. Personally I would sue, I really would.

[mystery]

Hi, I am interested to hear if anyone else has been in the situation we have just found ourselves in. My daughter has just started grammar school this year, and mentioned this week that she has been given a "pupil passport", which states in black and white "I have Aspergers". This has followed an incident in which my daughter had to deal with some bullying by older children, so had close contact with the pastoral manager. This person mentioned that they noticed she was "different".

My daughter has never been diagnosed. We as a family recognise we all have aspects of Aspergers, however, my daughter has been reading an in-depth book on Aspergers recently, and seems to have convinced herself that she has Aspergers syndrome. She can be a little uncertain with adults she does not know, and hand flaps when anxious - that's about it really. My dd's godmother, who works with Aspergers children in a school in another area was shocked when I told her about the situation - she feels my daughter, although she does have occasional anxiety issues (what 11 year old doesn't?), is barely touching the spectrum. I am concerned that my dd might use this as an excuse not to push herself forward in class - the passport states that the should not be pushed to provide answers in class. She is not one to raise her hand to answer as she says she "doesn't want to show off" - this used to frustrate her primary school teachers who were well aware that she knew the answers. I am also very concerned that we parents have not been consulted at all by the school.

My daughter is happy with the situation and does not want me to approach the school, however I am concerned that this might affect her future options if she is "labelled". Has anyone else come across this?

Agree with everyone so far, but also this to add. Why do schools make such a thing of children not raising their hands to answer their questions? If they want everyone to answer, then ask named children on a random or planned basis and stop this silly hands-up basis. I always get "very quiet in class" feedback at parents' evening and in reports. I have to zip my mouth in order not to say "why aren't you asking them a direct question then?" or "why don't they each have to do a presentation then?"

I really can't see how, even if your daughter had a bona fide Asperger's diagnosis (if there is really such a thing) why putting this instruction to her teachers in the passport is going to help anyone?

If a child can't cope with being put on the spot, fine, give them prepared stuff to do. If they really can't bear to speak in front of a group, fine, start small with a partner etc. But this blanket one size fits all idea they are passing on is silly. I would not want to be diagnosed with anything at your daughter's school!

[Guest55]

Many school have stopped 'hands up' as it is a good way of pupils avoiding work. The better ploy is to give them a few moments or the 'think, pair, share' approach, then ask several people for answers. This means no-one can switch off! The alternative is to use the mini white boards so everyone responds.