rewards for taking/passing 11+?

Ed's mum · Post by **Ed's mum** » Sat Nov 07, 2009 10:06 am

I agree that, in my opinion, the intrinsic reward the children gain for getting through the test is a much longer-lasting and effective reward than any extrinsic reward.

However, you try telling that to my daughter who has heard from her friends that they will be getting: Â£200, a trip to America(!), a games console etc etc etc.

Naturally, she has begun asking me what she will be getting...

Looking for help · Post by **Looking for help** » Sat Nov 07, 2009 10:14 am

Thank goodness we did not reward for passing or failure - on all occasions we went out for a whole family trip to a theme park as it seems to be around the age of 11 we hit the magic 1 m 40 for the big rides

with a lovely meal after as a reward having survived the day. Our exams usually coincided with the final weekend for these parks at the beginning of November.

LFH

MasterChief · Post by **MasterChief** » Sat Nov 07, 2009 10:54 am

Playing Devils advocate here, but how many of us go to work for the joy of a job well done and the knowledge that it willl hold us in good stead at some point in the future. Personally I go to work because I enjoy it but mainly because I get paid and if I was doing something I didn't enjoy I'm pretty darn sure I'd want paying!

SSM · Post by **SSM** » Sat Nov 07, 2009 11:12 am

I'm totally with you on that one MasterChief, but I do think some people get carried away with rewards.

We did the going out for a family meal and a mobile phone, which they would have got anyway as they travel to school by train. We also did stress to them how it would benefit them in the long run to do well and go to a good school.

Charl39 · Post by **Charl39** » Sat Nov 07, 2009 11:30 am

Masterchief, I see your point but worry that having given a large reward at age 10/11 does it then mean then the child needs to be offered monetary/material reward for each test/achievement until they are then offered reward by their employers? Does it mean they will seek a job/career that pays the highest reward rather than pursue something that makes them happy and is fulfilling and thus rewarding in other areas, or just develops them or challenges them further?

My DD's friends are being offered up to Â£1000 and trips abroard for passing their 11+ and I say each to their own but personally my DD will not be rewarded in a financial manner and is quite happy about. Also the disappointment of not receiving the reward only adds to the disappointment of not receiving a place at the preferred school. I find the whole reward thing quite difficult to get my head around but I guess it depends on each individual child/family.

P.S. Must get off this forum now, DD has her first test this pm

ourmaminhavana · Post by **ourmaminhavana** » Sat Nov 07, 2009 12:22 pm

I'm inclined to agree with the 'gaining the place is its own reward theory'. My son hasn't asked for anything and as far as I know his friends haven't received financial rewards either. He knows he's very fortunate to have gained a place at his preferred school and that it will offer him many opportunities and that is reward enough.
Incidentally I don't know whether this also fits in with the idea of working towards the papers for a few weeks over the summer. There were no grumbles, no bribes, he just got on with it as a means towards a highly desired end

SSM · Post by **SSM** » Sat Nov 07, 2009 12:45 pm

I don't agree with big rewards, but just something to say 'we appreciate the effort you have put in'. Also, this doesn't have to be of monetary value, it could just be spending time together.

If the child does not get anything for the effort, the idea being that when they pass the all the rewards that that brings, then what happens if they do not pass. This might leave them feeling, 'what is the point' you put in the effort all for nothing'.

I know that this does happen in life, and so can be taken as good lesson learnt, but it might really demotivate the child to try and perform well in the future.

I suppose what I'm saying is that I feel that a child should get some recognition, in whatever form it may be, for the effort that they put in.

MasterChief · Post by **MasterChief** » Sat Nov 07, 2009 12:46 pm

I have to admit I hadn't realised quite how much some of the rewards on offer were. I promised my DS 50p per point pass or fail and to his credit he forgot all about it until I reminded him.

Also to his credit he passed with a much higher score than I thought he would. In all honesty, because he had only done 10 familiarisation papers over the summer, we weren't even sure he would pass at all. So I had no hesitation in rewarding him as to be honest he didn't at that point care which school he would go to because we hadn't wanted to put any pressure on himand he only took the test because we asked him if he wanted to.
I hope this will help to instil some concept of the value of money and that you don't get something for nothing, so yes I will continue to reward my children for hard work.

rosered100 · Post by **rosered100** » Sat Nov 07, 2009 2:32 pm

We rewarded straight after the tests, before the results came out. DS said he would like a day out at Chessington, but due to time constraints & the fact that we had fairly recently been, we decided we would defer that until next spring when it reopens.
So instead, as a Halfords near us was closing down & selling off its bikes with 75% off, he got a new bike. DH cleared out the shop I think, as we all got one - DS1 straight away for his efforts, DS2 got his last week for his birthday, & (the boys dont know it yet) I'm getting mine for Christmas - though they might wonder why the tyres are a bit muddy!
He would have got this bike anyway but probably not until next year when he outgrows his old bike & this new one is quite special - but the opportunity arose to get it super cheap & we didnt see the point of putting it away for 6 months so we made it tie in with the tests & the effort he put in at fairly short notice along with his other commitments.

Tolstoy · Post by **Tolstoy** » Sun Nov 08, 2009 10:31 am

We have four children so on the day they sit the test that particular child gets to run the show. Yesterday we all went down the pub for a drink, crisps and game of pool. After it was back home for homemade pizza and Wii tournament. Last year it was a coffee shop with luxury hot chocolate and back home for StarWars bonanza. When you have to constantly fit around other siblings having a day dedicated to you is probably the best reward ever.

That being my point. In families where there is plenty of money huge financial rewards are probably not quite so huge as we perceive them to be. In large families quality time is often far more of a treat than money.