Rewards?

ourmaminhavana · Post by **ourmaminhavana** » Sat Oct 10, 2009 12:55 pm

My son has just found out that he has got a place at Caistor Grammar School!!!! We're taking him out for dinner, but should he have a little something for the huge amount of effort he put in to preparing for and succeeding in two sets of exams?
While part of me feels that passing and obtaining a place is reward enough in itself I wonder if other parents are giving pressies? I remember being given a book, but other children were being given bikes and all sorts of things...
I must admit I'd like to give him something as a keepsake of this special moment, but what?
I'd love to know what other parents have done/are planning to do?

essex-mum18 · Post by **essex-mum18** » Sat Oct 10, 2009 1:40 pm

ourmaminhavana wrote:My son has just found out that he has got a place at Caistor Grammar School!!!! We're taking him out for dinner, but should he have a little something for the huge amount of effort he put in to preparing for and succeeding in two sets of exams?
While part of me feels that passing and obtaining a place is reward enough in itself I wonder if other parents are giving pressies? I remember being given a book, but other children were being given bikes and all sorts of things...
I must admit I'd like to give him something as a keepsake of this special moment, but what?
I'd love to know what other parents have done/are planning to do?

Many congratulations to you and to your DS! You may find the following thread useful.

http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/forum/ ... hp?t=11380

ourmaminhavana · Post by **ourmaminhavana** » Sat Oct 10, 2009 1:47 pm

Thanks EM18. Think it confirms my feeling that we're rewarding more the huge effort he put in rather than the outcome (fantastic though it was!!)
It was interesting to see that a lot of the 'rewards' were experiences eg meals, theatre which I think is lovely

bucks mum1 · Post by **bucks mum1** » Sat Oct 10, 2009 1:52 pm

Congratulations - I still remember the feeling when we found out our DS had got a grammar school place.

We just went out for a meal as a family. We didn't buy him a special present as I was worried about younger sibbling feeling put out.

It's a difficult one as we will be going through it all again next year but our 2nd child is less academic so will not be suited to a grammar school. Don't want her to feel less special.

I guess so much depends on the family circumstances. I wanted to shout about it and tell everyone as he'd worked so hard but second DC kept worrying we wouldn't be nearly as proud of her when her time came around.

wonderwoman · Post by **wonderwoman** » Sat Oct 10, 2009 2:15 pm

Hi ourmaminhavana
Congrats to your son - we never gave or promised rewards, but have given a smart set of engraved pens when our dc have started at secondary school.
I don't want to take the shine off the moment for you one bit, but remember the place at Caistor won't be confirmed till March. We're not in your area but I know some people who didn't get into first choice GS and had to appeal.
Enjoy your meal out.

ourmaminhavana · Post by **ourmaminhavana** » Sat Oct 10, 2009 2:35 pm

Thanks for the warning Wonderwoman, but he did receive a letter saying he'd passed Caistor's exam with 'a very impressive score' and that 'this very positive letter should give us the confidence to pursue our application' so hopefully that means something?!

zee · Post by **zee** » Sat Oct 10, 2009 11:14 pm

It's a tricky balancing act - that may get worse with bigger exams (GCSE and A levels).

Whilst I agree that the prime motivation should be self-motivation as they will ultimately get the benefit, we also think some acknowledgement of exceptional effort or performance is worth recognising - in a modest way.

So, with 11+ we took DC on a weekend trip straight after the exam, to unwind after the hard work they had put in in the preceding months, but before we knew the result.

We have no intention of ever getting into the Â£x per A grade, Â£y per B etc, but if they do particularly well, we might go out for a meal or buy a new XBox game etc.

teffi · Post by **teffi** » Sat Oct 10, 2009 11:17 pm

Our DS has passed today too. We bought him an i-pod nano ( sorry not deliberately advertising) which he's wanted for a while. That was his reward, which he would have got regardless of the result.

This evening we've been out for a meal as a family at a restaurant of DS's choice. That was for a celebration of the result and it was special. I don't worry about younger sibling, she came to the meal out and she'll get her reward after she does it in two years' time. How quickly will that come around?

;kysiesmum · Post by **;kysiesmum** » Sun Oct 11, 2009 1:04 am

We've told ds we would top up the money he has saved for a mobile phone if he passed.He lost his last one so we told him he had to earn the money for a new one, so by giving the money towards the phone as a 'reward' for passing the 11+ he feels he has earned it and we are happier about him travelling alone to the gs as he can get in contact if he needs to.

lec · Post by **lec** » Sun Oct 11, 2009 4:14 pm

Congratulations!
We said to our son that as he wanted to go to the Grammar he would need to give it his best shot and that if he made an effort[regardless of outcome]we would purchase a laptop.So we are!

Rewards?

Rewards?

Re: Rewards?