I am posting on behalf of a friend of mine, who feels she is banging her head against a brick wall with her DD over the 11+. Exam is October, so there are still 9 months to go. My friend had originally engaged a tutor, who has let her down. Even before this happened, though, there were issues with the lack of academic motivation on the part of the child in question, and the parents were questioning whether it was right to sit her for the grammar school exam.
The child's school have noticed that she doesn't appear to be putting in any effort, and at home there is apparently the same problem - although what form that takes, I'm not sure.
My friend's DD is very keen to go to a particular grammar school and understands that the exam is very competitive. My friend says her DD is completely unmotivated, although again I'm not sure what my friend is basing this on. As far as I know the parents haven't actually sat her down and given her any 11+ practice yet, and as I'm writing this I am wondering if their assumptions are based on the child's attitude rather than any actual evidence of refusal to the the necessary work.
The parents feel that X is capable of passing, given plenty of practice, and the Headteacher at her school is apparently supportive and feels that X may well pull herself together when she gets to grammar school. Problem is that if she doesn't do a decent amount of work (we are talking highly selective school) she will never get there in the first place.
My friend is wondering if it would be better to forget the 11+ and send her DD to the decent local comp. I personally feel this would give X the message that she isn't even good enough to sit the exam, never mind pass it, which would compound a possible lack of confidence.
Has anyone else experienced this, or have any views on either how to motivate X or whether it would be better to abandon the 11+? My friend is really struggling with this and is unfortunately comparing her DD with mine, who is 9 going on 30, organised, motivated and determined to get to the grammar school in question. I can't explain how we have cultivated this attitude in our child and if I could I would gladly give my friend the instruction manual.
Any help much appreciated. I feel my friend is very much looking to me for answers with this - life has been hard for her family over the last year or so - and I feel I owe it to X to help if I can.