Is Grammar best for everyone?

[KES Parent]

I agree with FM. Between them my DCs have attended every kind of secondary and primary school in existence, and the ones at grammar schools have disliked school most and been the least academically successful, despite having apparently got in fairly easily and without any tutoring apart from a bit from me. The most important indicator of success in my experience is that a child feels happy and comfortable at school, and if that is at a school that is not necessarily highly regarded by the world at large then so be it. You may think I am a hypocrite given my user name, but KES boy chose the school himself and he was lucky that we could (just about!) afford it.

[um]

Thanks for the replies - certainly food for thought!

I think perhaps I shouldn't have been so quick to judge a decision based on my own (limited) understanding of things.
Perhaps the family were very brave in making that decision, and the boy is apparently much happier now.

I was worried that maybe there are many boys wanting a way out and not being supported there.

My own son is prone to agonising introspection, and although he very much wanted Camp Hill, and in all honesty, worked for it, and has friends there, there are still times when he says things like, 'I'm not sure if I will fit in/keep up with the work etc.'

The rugby is a particular source of angst for him as he's never played it before (he plays for a local football team and is very good at football) and not a week goes by without him worrying about being 'forced' to play rugby - which he considers too 'rough' a game to enjoy!
Has anyone had a son like this and how have they managed the rugby?

[Plum]

Can't comment on the other stuff but don't worry about the rugby! My DS has been "playing" for a few years but it is only in the last few weeks (right at the end of the season) that he has suddenly developed a passion for the game! He got an award for most improved player this season - real proud mum moment!

Getting DS to watch it on TV and taking him to a match helped inspire him. Also, quite often local clubs run summer sessions - prehaps you could sign your DS up for a day or two for a taster. DS's new school is a big rugby school and they are running a taster session in July which I think is a great idea - it gives the boys a chance to meet up before starting school in September and for those that haven't played before to have a go.

And I'll definitely be sending DS to a rugby camp this summer, if only to get him out from under my feet!

Good luck
Plum

[mike1880]

Rugby is streamed, he'll be put with people who are at a similar level of skill and motivation. Many/most boys have never played rugby before so if they know he's a keen footballer I would have thought they'll probably ask him to try for the team (as per za1's son). If he doesn't want to I'm sure he can avoid it - practice is after school Wednesdays which in itself can offer reasons for "not being able to" if necessary.

I think you'll probably have more idea how well he'll fit in after the new parents evening in July; if you meet plenty of parents you find it easy to get on with then he'll probably be similarly placed.

There's usually a one(?) week sport summer school over the holidays for the new boys, it sounds as though it would be ideal for your son. I think, by the way, that if you want CHB-specific experience about this kind of thing you'll probably get more response on the Bham forum.

Mike

[um]

That's an interesting point about 'fitting in' with other parents - I suppose I'll have to see, but I'm not brilliant at making small talk with strangers to be honest and you can't 'judge' in the space of a few awkward minutes.

Sports camp sounds a great idea but he'll be fasting for much of the summer so may not appreciate it greatly ...he is adamant about not liking rugby - I'll have to find some other activity on Wednesday after school for him though

[buzzard]

at our grammar school a small number of children leave in the first term. Perhaps they miss their friends, perhaps they hate the travelling, perhaps they dislike not being the brightest one in the class.

My own oldest child was happy in first year then streamed into different classes to their friends who resented not being as bright. They are now happy again but after a traumatic period. It was always their choice if they stayed or went elsewhere.

They have excellent exam results but maybe would have been more confident if they had gone to a different school.

[yoyo123]

my daughter thrived in grammar, stayed on for 6th form and went to uni.

my son really didn't like his grammar, went to FE college for A levels and is now really enjoying it.

both are equally clever but have a very different outloook on life.