11 Plus Exams Forum

what is too much tutoring? How many hours a day,week?
Want to know what an overtutored child is?
As poeple go on about an overtutored child struggling at grammar school but how do you know you are not over tutoring tour child ,because i refuse to do more than 2 papers in a week with my dc,is she under tutored compared to other children as i have heard some parents like to sit their children every evening fo practice so where do you draw the fine line?

you are the person who knows your child the best.

are they still enjoying it? do they have time for other interests?

some children thrive on pressure, others don't.

2 papers a week sounds OK, when I was tutoring I would expect 1 a week plus in last few monthsmaybe some computer game to sharpen skills like times tables , spelling or grammar.

so in short, whatever seems right for your child.

Do whatever you think is right, can afford, seems to result in improvement, and does not put your child off learning. You'll never get the correct answer to this one, and it so much depends on what your child is already doing at school and for homework that no-one can give you an answer that fits your situation.

If you have five children you are not going to have had the same opportunity to spend as much individual time with each child as someone who has one child.

Good tutoring is not going to be about ploughing through as many papers as possible, but focussing on identifying what needs improving and working on that. It should also be relatively interesting or fulfilling for the child. Most children enjoy the one to one attention of a tutor and the feelings of success it brings.

I know a boy of eighteen, one of five children (eldest) of a single mum. Each child has a different (absent) father. He is half-cast. My newly deceased friend and his wife have given him "sanctuary" these last ten years. Fred had a seveer stroke leaving him unable to walk or talk four and a half years ago. Yet every week-end his wife has driven though two counties, to fetch the boy for a week-end; for a warm bed; a home-cooked meal; a place to do his homework and receive affection. No tutoring for him: yet he has received a conditional offer from Liverpool to read Business Studies and similar from Sheffield.

When asked what drives him. Says he, simply: I am going to work, earn my own things, make myself worthy of respect ... have a life.

Never mind the question - rather ask yourself "Is my child motivated?" - self-motivated - all the tutoring in the world will do no good if it is really cramming!

I am not really responding to the mail but chanced upon it and saw with horror that a child was called "half caste". Is this 2011 or am I back in the mid 20th Century? Things have moved on, perhaps the writer would like to look at the BBC series which is currently on mixed relationships. This may help them with their language. I have two children who are of mixed parentage and I feel insulted to think that someone in this day and age would consider it all right to use that term about either of them.

I think people use the term without thinking of the implications. My DCs are at a school with a lot of black, Asian and mixed race children. I have heard all of those different people using the term, so I don't think it's meant in a bad way. Probably best to avoid the term though.

Still doesn't make it all right. No excuse for ignorance.

No. I am not intending to insult nor am I going to join the politically correct. My children also have mixed race parentage. Stop playing the race card and the enlightened liberal elite card.
SD

It is views like yours which bring us back. It is not Ok to use such language and just encourages others to think it is. As a black woman with two boys I want my sons to grow up proud of themselves and not think it is all right for others to use antiquated language to describe them. Even my parents who grew up using such terms have come to realise it just isn't on. If you think it liberal and using the race card then perhaps you need to become more enlightened about the world out there, where such terms are used to insult, belittle and demean.

Mum of five 2 you are best placed to judge how much preparation is appropriate for your child. My middle DS commenced his 11+ preparation in the February of the year he sat the exam. I relied heavily upon the advice of his tutor, she let me know how much work she felt he needed to do - on occasions I gave him some extra work if I thought he would benefit from it. She didn't overload him and if she had I would have slowed things down a bit. She gave him work to keep him ticking over in the summer holidays and then increased the workload between September and when he sat the exam in November. My youngest DS went to a school that prepared the children for the 11+ but we still had the same lovely lady come in to see him and she went over things with him. Prompted by your thread, I asked my middle son, now in Year 11 at grammar, if there are any boys struggling at his school. He said the only ones who aren't doing so well are the ones who aren't working. Choose your grammar school carefully, if you think your DC is bright and doesn't have to work too hard maybe go for a 'super-selective', if there is one in your area and obviously if you like the ethos of the place. If you feel your DC is having to work a little bit harder maybe go for a 'normal' grammar (sorry, I didn't like to refer to it as not-so-super-selective ). I know a young lad who was 'last' on the list for our local super-selective a couple of years ago, he is doing very well indeed. His Mum was proud of the fact that he had worked very hard to get there. Good for her - he is very happy.