How well can you measure your child's performance?

[Jetster]

Thanks so much for your reply .

To be honest we didn't really do that much at home, we started looking at the practice papers just before the summer holidays and throughout the summer hols he didn't really do anything. We then hit the practice papers again in the run up to the tests, once he was back at school.

He is in the top set at school, but he is one of those boys that if he doesn't put in the effort then he doesn't perform well - it doesn't just come naturally to him. We've been told that he should reach level 5 by the end of this school year (at present he is a strong 4).

I guess because we didn't do any intense practice/tutoring at home I thought he might not pass even though I knew he was capable of passing. I just need to be confident in his ability and the fact that he scored 11 over the standard required with little practice/tutoring means that he should be okay - right?!

[scarlett]

I think we forget also that many children just click later then others and you may find your son might exceed all expectations now he is on a roll so to speak ! This happened with my DS and he left primary with level 6 for maths and solid 5 for literacy , something which I would never have dreamed of when I was booing my eyes out , thinking he was dim when in year 3. He wasn't on track for those levels either . However, if your son is top of his class then of course he will be fine ! Well done to him...

[mystery]

It's a bell curve so it's not just that your son scored "11 over what is required" but that the further you go along the curve the area under the curve gets smaller so the percentage of children getting the higher scores is tailing off all the time, if you see what I mean.

I really do not think that your child's score in a test, or the fact that he works to remain in the top set, is going to determine whether or not he "struggles" at grammar school. The ones who get low GCSE grades at grammar school generally are the timewasters. Your son does not sound like he is in that category. They will not be doing astrophysics or neurology in the first year so don't worry!! They do the same thing as everywhere else. So relax!!

And really the "ability" groups at primary seem very iffy to me. Certainly my children's school are pretty hit and miss about who is in which group and how they decide is mysterious and not very reliable it would seem to me (and I'm not just talking about my own daughter's experience).

Also you don't know if all the others worked to remain in the top set either! In my experience there are some very secretive parents out there. My DD is in year 3 and from year R onwards the friends have gone suspiciously inaccessible during the holidays. I think they are working every day!!

[Jetster]

Scarlet, my ds2 has just started yr4 and is bang on where the guidelines say he should be for his age in all the assessed areas but to me he seems to be struggling to keep up. DS1 was always a couple of years + over where the guidelines said he should've been, I'm trying not to compare but I already think that grammar is way off from being an option for him.

Your reply though has given me some hope that he won't always struggle, I'm trying really hard to keep my ds2 interested in learning as I feel this is what is holding him back. He is very easily distracted so finds it difficult to concentrate in class, he's already asked the teachers if he can work by himself because he knows he won't be able to concentrate otherwise. The teacher didn't see this as a positive though, I have started to wonder whether school is the right place for him. He seems so much better on a 1 to 1 basis but it just isn't an option within the classroom.

I am flirting with the idea of home schooling him, but having spoken to the head about my concerns they do seem to want to put things in place to help him. So I'll wait to see what comes of that and see if things improve for him.

[Jetster]

Mystery, thanks for your reply. DS1 is certainly not a timewaster and he is fully aware of what is expected of him when he reaches secondary school, be it grammar or the local comp. He is extremely keen to go to the grammar school and is willing to put in maximum effort to achieve his goals.

I am sure he will do well, just need to get my worry head off

[scarlett]

I would have said it was a big positive for a child to remove themselves from a distraction so they can concentrate ! My DS2 is in a class with quite a few distractions, shall we say and he used to ask to work in the hall which annoyed me, because I didn't feel he was the one who should be working in solitary , but pleased that he wanted to get on with his work . I have had to reiterate over and over the importance of concentrating but it's hard when everyone else seems to have fun ! Luckily, DS2 doesn't like being thought of being dim so is keen to get his work right. My DS1 teacher in year 2 described him as struggling which I was desperately worried about, but everything just seemed to come together practically overnight although I did do quite a lot with him. I have had to go over the basics with DS2 as he has had poor teaching really since year 1 and his self esteem was also affected .I know my children are bright even if they spell things incorrectly or are not on the top table...they just need that extra push . With DS2 I have kept him at home every so often to consolidate his maths etc and his teacher asked me the other day if I had been working with him as it was amazing how he was suddenly striding ahead , I did the same with DD ( yr 3 ) who went from being behind to level 3 in all her yr 2 sats..... it can be done ! and there are lots of reasons why they might be seen to be struggling at school..we are made to feel it's because they are dim but you know your child best. It's good the school are helping your son to achieve his very best . Perhaps see if you can do bits and pieces at home and he still has a couple of years to go.My second son is already doing better with his VR then Ds1 was at this stage even though he refused to read up until a couple of months ago. Children are wonderful....they never cease to amaze us , just be positive

[Jetster]

Thanks so much, your reply is really helpful. My DS2 has self esteem issues and it is is definitely coming from school, the head has recognised this too and is very keen to work on building it up.

I really believe his is a bright boy, when he talks to us about certain things I know he has taken in far more than his teachers give him credit for. He just struggles to put that knowledge down on paper.

Thanks again, your words are very comforting.

[fatbananas]

Scarlett's experiences have kept me going on a number of occasions Jetster! My DS was behind in maths, I did some work with him and then he got level 3 in his KS1 sats - something I never would've imagined in Yr 1.

At private schools they have much smaller class sizes, better resources and more assistants and the DC get more 1-on-1 attention, which is why they generally achieve better results. It is not because those kids are inherently brighter than any of those in the state sector. In a class of 30 I don't think many kids, who would benefit from the extra boost/ focus, actually get it and so I think it's really worth supplementing their work at home. Children in private primary school generally get homework every day (at least, they do in my area, which is full of super-selective grammars and super-selective private secondaries) as opposed to the once-weekly work sheets my DS gets, so I look on anything I'm able to do after school as the equivalent to that type of homework.

Hope that made sense: my DC are play-fighting in the background and it's very distracting

[Jetster]

Thank you, your post makes a great deal of sense. I am feeling much more positive. I need to have another meet with the head to discuss what plans she is putting into place and to discuss my plans for at home.

[Sassie'sDad]

Totally agree with Herman's attitude. Children mature in fits and starts. What matters most (for them) is how well they integrate into their peer group, their school. If it is "the right school " for them then they will have plenty of growing room. Their school will enable them to mature and grow, physically, spiritually and intellectually. There is know knowing where they will actually end up. But, hey, don't leave out the parental influence effect. Family background, home environment are still the single biggest influence upon you dear DD or DS doing well educationaly and socially at this incredibly dynamic time of their lives. Just hang on in there and continue the support! It will not always be right, not always "spot on" but it will always be important and influential. Live for your children; but not through them!

SD