The never ending circle
Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2012 12:25 am
I am at the point where I and my child are having to decide whether or not to go for the 11+ exam this coming Autumn.
Whilst nibbling my finger nails one morning from the stress of the impending 11+ decision and suspiciously watching other parents for tell tale signs of covert tutor runs or extra classes, I had what you might call an Epiphany. Standing there watching the moms and dads dropping of their children and then disappearing in a blink in to ensure that they were not late for their jobs, it struck me. What exactly are we all aiming for with this 11+ stress malarkey anyway?
I decided to go for a coffee and ponder over said epiphany to work out what it meant. This is my conclusion in a nutshell.....
So you and they study and stress over the coming exam for anywhere between one and five years (five years, can you believe that some parents start that early!). The day arrives, they do the exam hopefully without breaking down in tears or wetting themselves under the pressure, and await the results.
After what seems like an eternity the envelope arrives, you (or should I say they) have made it in.
Now the hard work really begins.
Fast forward to GCSE's, A levels, degree. Tom or Sophie, after all of the years of study, examinations and strain are proud owners of ten GCSE's, four A levels and hopefully a degree in something slightly useful. Now what?
They join the queue fo the graduate positions along with the seventy or so other graduates clambering for the same position. After all of these years of study and strain they are still stressfully competing to get where they believe they should be.
Now, as luck would have it, and after only eighteen months of job applications and work that they never really saw themselves doing, both Tom and Sophie land positions as a result of their qualifications. The pay isn't what they were expecting but they count themselves lucky to have found a job.
The hours are long, they are worked hard, the 9 to 5 slowly morphs into an 8 to 7 and every month their pay packet seems worryingly light as a result of having to pay back the lifelong and somewhat hefty student loan that they ran up whilst studying.
Despite this, and partly due to the determination that was ingrained in them by their parents all those years ago while studying for the 11+, they soldier on and rise through the ranks. Their salary becomes larger as does the amount of tax deducted each month, the work days get longer, the out of hours business emails increase but at least they have nice company cars and can ski twice a year and have a couple of weeks off in the sun.
They both agree that it would be nice if it didn't take half of the holiday to pop themselves out of the work mindset but hey, at least they are away from the office.......
And so it goes on until one day, whilst hurriedly dropping off their kids at school so as not to be late for that important meeting at 9.15am on the other side of the city, they have their own epiphany whilst watching one of the parents chomping on their nails as they are walking into Caffe Nero.
"Caffe Nero, I wish I had time for coffee. Im running around like a headless chicken to pay for the things that I thought that I needed and I don't spend nearly as much time with the kid's as I'd like.....that reminds me, I mustn't forget to remind the childminder to drop them to their tutor this evening".......... And so the wheel turns.
Now all of this is just a though you understand. I want the best for my children too but I have to admit that the more I think about the 11+ mentality, the more I question it......
Whilst nibbling my finger nails one morning from the stress of the impending 11+ decision and suspiciously watching other parents for tell tale signs of covert tutor runs or extra classes, I had what you might call an Epiphany. Standing there watching the moms and dads dropping of their children and then disappearing in a blink in to ensure that they were not late for their jobs, it struck me. What exactly are we all aiming for with this 11+ stress malarkey anyway?
I decided to go for a coffee and ponder over said epiphany to work out what it meant. This is my conclusion in a nutshell.....
So you and they study and stress over the coming exam for anywhere between one and five years (five years, can you believe that some parents start that early!). The day arrives, they do the exam hopefully without breaking down in tears or wetting themselves under the pressure, and await the results.
After what seems like an eternity the envelope arrives, you (or should I say they) have made it in.
Now the hard work really begins.
Fast forward to GCSE's, A levels, degree. Tom or Sophie, after all of the years of study, examinations and strain are proud owners of ten GCSE's, four A levels and hopefully a degree in something slightly useful. Now what?
They join the queue fo the graduate positions along with the seventy or so other graduates clambering for the same position. After all of these years of study and strain they are still stressfully competing to get where they believe they should be.
Now, as luck would have it, and after only eighteen months of job applications and work that they never really saw themselves doing, both Tom and Sophie land positions as a result of their qualifications. The pay isn't what they were expecting but they count themselves lucky to have found a job.
The hours are long, they are worked hard, the 9 to 5 slowly morphs into an 8 to 7 and every month their pay packet seems worryingly light as a result of having to pay back the lifelong and somewhat hefty student loan that they ran up whilst studying.
Despite this, and partly due to the determination that was ingrained in them by their parents all those years ago while studying for the 11+, they soldier on and rise through the ranks. Their salary becomes larger as does the amount of tax deducted each month, the work days get longer, the out of hours business emails increase but at least they have nice company cars and can ski twice a year and have a couple of weeks off in the sun.
They both agree that it would be nice if it didn't take half of the holiday to pop themselves out of the work mindset but hey, at least they are away from the office.......
And so it goes on until one day, whilst hurriedly dropping off their kids at school so as not to be late for that important meeting at 9.15am on the other side of the city, they have their own epiphany whilst watching one of the parents chomping on their nails as they are walking into Caffe Nero.
"Caffe Nero, I wish I had time for coffee. Im running around like a headless chicken to pay for the things that I thought that I needed and I don't spend nearly as much time with the kid's as I'd like.....that reminds me, I mustn't forget to remind the childminder to drop them to their tutor this evening".......... And so the wheel turns.
Now all of this is just a though you understand. I want the best for my children too but I have to admit that the more I think about the 11+ mentality, the more I question it......