Over coaching?

[Looking for help]

That's a great post Laretta, I agree wholeheartedly with what you've said.

[Thingsbehindthesun]

That's a great post Laretta, I agree wholeheartedly with what you've said.

+1

[mad?]

I agree, very thought provoking. It's all so difficult this parenting business isn't it? I have no idea what the answer is and I envy those that find a solution that works for them, be it 15 hours a week at a desk of 15 mins a day in the car, horses for courses etc. This issue will remain as long as parents and pockets of a selective system exist and there will be as many right and wrong ways to do it as their are children sitting exams. However, with some perspective (DD2 in Y8 now) I do think it is important to try not to worry, or be perturbed by what others are doing (regardless of whether you think it is too little or too much) as there is nothing to be gained by this. Also, I know it does not feel like it at the time, but getting what you believe to be the right school (of course it might not be!) is only one small piece in the jigsaw. There are far more significant factors influencing DCs' happiness and success than the school they happen to get into which may or may not happen to be 'right' for them, the biggest one being parenting! Unlike the 11+ this is something we can actually control so whatever the outcomes, do not forget that there actually more important things in life to worry about!

[akha]

That's a great post Laretta, I agree wholeheartedly with what you've said.

+100, well said Larreta!

[akha]

I agree, very thought provoking. It's all so difficult this parenting business isn't it? I have no idea what the answer is and I envy those that find a solution that works for them, be it 15 hours a week at a desk of 15 mins a day in. There are far more significant factors influencing DCs' happiness and success than the school they happen to get into which may or may not happen to be 'right' for them, the biggest one being parenting! Unlike the 11+ this is something we can actually control so whatever the outcomes, do not forget that there actually more important things in life to worry about!

Very true, Mad? ....

[dlb]

The whole education system is unfair in this country. It is certainly not equal for everyone.

[laretta]

mad - I agree



The sad thing about the 11+ is that the most disadvantaged children with regards to some schooling in less affluent areas and lack of basic good parenting, are the ones who would need coaching the most, but inevitably the ones who aren't lucky enough to get it. Many of them will be very bright, but never have the opportunity to achieve their potential. Fortunately as Amber pointed out earlier, where you go to school does not necessarily guarantee success or failure. Many children from comprehensives go on to do amazing things as adults. It is just a shame that in the most deprived families, these successes are the exception rather than the rule and the grammar system is largely unreachable for many.

[mad?]

mad - I agree
The sad thing about the 11+ is that the most disadvantaged children with regards to some schooling in less affluent areas and lack of basic good parenting, are the ones who would need coaching the most, but inevitably the ones who aren't lucky enough to get it. Many of them will be very bright, but never have the opportunity to achieve their potential. Fortunately as Amber pointed out earlier, where you go to school does not necessarily guarantee success or failure. Many children from comprehensives go on to do amazing things as adults. It is just a shame that in the most deprived families, these successes are the exception rather than the rule and the grammar system is largely unreachable for many.

I couldn't agree more...the irony is that it is these able but disadvantaged children that the system was designed to 'catch' in the first place. There are comprehensives and 'comprehensives', (I went to one), needless to say these same children rarely have access to the 60% plus A-C 'comprehensives, either by virtue of their post code or 'lack' of formally practised religion. All very dispiriting really.