11 Plus Exams Forum

What have you decided to buy your child if they pass?

Don't reward success - reward the effort if you must.

I am biting my tongue and sitting on my hands.

We gave our Ds a hug, card and his favourite pud. Family and friends acknowledging him passing was enough of a reward for him as he was left feeling very proud.

Aaaargh. Will you love them any less if they don't pass?

Bites tongue and swallows hard!

Nothing is my answer, lots of praise and congratulations, a big hug and a special tea. We went out for a pizza the Saturday after he took the tests as a sort of "phew it's all over".

My daughter and several of her friends, who sat the same test all went for a Pizza at tea time, parents sat at another table, with lots of wine just grateful it was over. I also got her a cd she had wanted, for all her hard work without grumbling too much. On the morning (well midnight) when found out she'd passed, we put a little well done banner in her bedroom so she would see it when she woke up (probably a bit OTT) then grandparents got her a card with a voucher when she passed. All rewards were for effort, not for the result.

I am going to be treating my ds after he takes the test. A day out somewhere of his choosing with no siblings would make him happy
Results day, well, I am going to try not to focus too much on that I think I want him to see it is only a small part of his life, and if he fails to get into the school, well he can still do what he wants to do with his life. It is just a school.

Why are so many people biting tongues and sitting on hands? Guest 55 is spot on, we don't all achieve everything we want, we aren't all Olympic champions... But no one gets anywhere without effort...rewarding them for passing is imnsho completely wrong, reward for effort not acheivement.. Usually achieving something brings its own rewards anyway.. My DS & DD both got asked once the test was over what they wanted for tea.. And if there anything they felt they needed.. Dd needed a new broom handle and Ds needed new sparring shoes because he was growing out of the ones he had..

We'll be providing a gift as a reward for working hard...DS knows that if he works hard he'll get it regardless of the result.