Where to start?

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Daogroupie
Posts: 11099
Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 3:01 pm
Location: Herts

Re: Where to start?

Post by Daogroupie »

It is so interesting how people define what they call "work" which seems to be considered inconsistent with a wonderful childhood? Why is learning work? And why is ok for a boy to sit and play a computer game which to me just looks like some kind of a drug addiction. A boy sits opposite me gazing transfixed into the screen jabbing at buttons killing things and another boy sits next to him working out some Maths problems. It always makes me think of the short story "The Machine stops" by EM Forster. The former is accepted and encouraged, the latter is seen as work ruining his childhood. I know which boy I would rather have in my school. I "work" with Year 3 students who are super engaged and lively and talk to me with eyes shining. I used to work at a outstanding primary school that had a no homework policy. Those students really struggled in Year 7 to adjust to "work" outside school. Learning is a natural part of life and I am puzzled by all the compartments that surround it. All the students I know of succeeding have worked hard. Start now and it won't be such a mad scramble at the end. DG
Peridot
Posts: 2195
Joined: Thu May 16, 2013 5:02 pm

Re: Where to start?

Post by Peridot »

DG - absolutely learning is a natural part of life, and we never stop learning all the way through childhood and adulthood. I just think it's perfectly possible and preferable to be a parent who encourages your child to learn naturally and be interested in all types of learning about the world around us, rather than a parent who sits their child down (in a room with the curtains closed, I read on another EPE thread that at times borders on the hysterical!) to work formally through bond papers and the like at the age of 7. My two would have rebelled way before exam time if I'd made them start the dreaded v/nv any earlier than year 5!
But hey, what I love about this forum is we can express our opinions and agree to disagree...
All the best
P
Daogroupie
Posts: 11099
Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 3:01 pm
Location: Herts

Re: Where to start?

Post by Daogroupie »

I would not touch Bond papers with a bargepole as I have expressed many times. There are lots of fun ways to learn English and Maths which will put any student firmly down the road to eleven plus success. DG
Immortal Dreams
Posts: 50
Joined: Mon Nov 11, 2013 8:59 pm
Location: North London Consortium

Re: Where to start?

Post by Immortal Dreams »

Learning is a natural part of life, but what irritates me are parents who overwork their children from a very young age. Like you say, there are fun ways for children to learn english and maths, rather than bond books or something of the sort. I know a girl who was tutored for the eleven plus since at least Year 2 - she didn't get into any of her chosen schools anyway, so sometimes the pressure has a negative effect.

Completely agree with what you say, DG, I'd also prefer a child to learn than to stare transfixed at a computer screen for hours on end almost every day - to me that's an example of bad parenting as I know firsthand how addictive computer games can be and it should be the parents job to monitor time spent on them, as once you've begun it can be difficult to stop.
Tink2010
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Mar 03, 2014 10:10 pm

Re: Where to start?

Post by Tink2010 »

I read all the time on here how much work parents/children do to get into grammar, some even saying that they allow their child Christmas Day off from studying!! Surely a slow approach every now and then so you can see what level your child is at rather than cramming 3-4 hrs of tutoring every day for 4-5 months would be better?
wonderwoman
Posts: 511
Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2008 11:07 pm

Re: Where to start?

Post by wonderwoman »

Daogroupie wrote:It is so interesting how people define what they call "work" which seems to be considered inconsistent with a wonderful childhood? Why is learning work? And why is ok for a boy to sit and play a computer game which to me just looks like some kind of a drug addiction. A boy sits opposite me gazing transfixed into the screen jabbing at buttons killing things and another boy sits next to him working out some Maths problems. It always makes me think of the short story "The Machine stops" by EM Forster. The former is accepted and encouraged, the latter is seen as work ruining his childhood. I know which boy I would rather have in my school. All the students I know of succeeding have worked hard. DG
I too know a boy who sits and plays computer games endlessly, his homework was usually completed, but scruffy and was done on the sofa or in bed, no idea if he read out of choice and another who was prepped for 11+ from an early age by his mother, his reading material was carefully chosen and his mother was very involved with his school and homework always finding opportunities to extend his learning. Both went to grammar school. One is predicted 4 A*s at A levels and has applied to Cambridge, the other started truanting in Y9 and has struggled to stay in education. Which child would you like in your school?

I don't think gaming is particularly accepted and encouraged. Neither do I think encouraging a love of learning is seen as ruining a child's life.

What is important is allowing children to follow their interests and encouraging a range of interests if possible. That might be reading, maths, languages, or sport.
mystery
Posts: 8927
Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 10:56 pm

Re: Where to start?

Post by mystery »

Which child was which Wonderwoman? There are definitely people on this site who would disapprove of the involved sounding mother.
Peridot
Posts: 2195
Joined: Thu May 16, 2013 5:02 pm

Re: Where to start?

Post by Peridot »

Thanks Mystery! I thought I was being particularly dense not knowing which was which. There's obviously a moral in the tale, Wonderwoman, but I don't know which moral...! P
silverysea
Posts: 1105
Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2011 3:32 pm

Re: Where to start?

Post by silverysea »

OP I would start by thinking about where you want to live, and are you prepared to relocate for secondary school, and identifying which school(s) you are targeting. Attend events at those schools if possible, open days, fetes, plays, concerts. Visit if possible. Think about if you need a sibling policy and what schools you will get if child doesn't pass.

Ask people on here loads of specific questions about the schools of interest.

Meanwhile do lots of reading and school maths with child especially if the primary is not great or requires little homework.

My dd2 spent many happy hours writing in kids magazines and workbooks and reading picture books on the floor at my feet from 2 on while her sister did various classes and activities. She hated ballet etc and continued her "literary pursuits" in preference, with playing and getting muddy mixed in, to be sure. She ramped up her prep after visiting schools in years 4 and 5, especially the comprehensives which did not appeal as much. Now she's going to HBS in September. You never saw a happier kid as I have this week- she feels she is going home!
wonderwoman
Posts: 511
Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2008 11:07 pm

Re: Where to start?

Post by wonderwoman »

mystery wrote:Which child was which Wonderwoman? There are definitely people on this site who would disapprove of the involved sounding mother.
mystery wrote:
The gaming boy is predicted 4 A*s. He is my DS's best friend and it drives DS mad that he can do all his work with no apparent effort or revision - he can just do it. The other boy is a really sad story and has lost touch with his friends. The boy who likes gaming is from the most wonderful family who just allow their children to 'be'. The siblings are all quite different and joyously happy and completely valued for who they are. I don't ever remember seeing any spellings or timetables on their fridge. When I chat with the parents they are often unaware of exam timetables, deadlines etc, but are at every parents' evening, play, concert, art show etc.

This is how it should be - a lesson to us all.
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