Clueless- would like to start preparing 3 year old....

[Amber]

Personally I feel children should definitely know their alphabet by nursery or reception, and how to count by reception..

Sadly, most child psychologists and educationalists would not agree with you there. Even more sadly, the Government would. This widely held (in this country) view is tragically ill-advised, based on no sound pedagogical or educational principles and small children are the ones who pay the price. Counting is nothing more than reciting words, for example, and neither is knowing the alphabet -chanting meaningless words. As small children are very receptive to language it isn't hard for them to learn the numbers 1-10 or even 1-100. Certainly no sign of prodigious intellect, as it might be if they could actually manipulate the numbers meaningfully. I am with Berks_Mum on this and nothing, ever, will persuade me that tiny children should be doing anything other than exploring their world with a loving adult to hand to support them.

However, I do agree with the rest of your post ID.

I am horrified at parents who start preparing in Years 2 or 3, never mind at this age. Talk to them in proper english, ensure they know the words for things around them, read to them a lot, let them splash in puddles and play as much as they want and hopefully you will have not only an intelligent child but also a happy one.

Indeed so.

[PinkPearl]

Immortal Dreams. My sole aim isn't to put him in Grammar. It might not right for him, his personality, his abilities but I want to keep options open and for him to have the best education which is why I'm keeping it in scope and thinking about it.

Personally I feel children should definitely know their alphabet by nursery or reception, and how to count by reception. What nefertete (sp?) said sounds to me, like copella said, basic good parenting. I am aware many parents don't do this sort of thing, but it helps children so much. However if your sole aim in doing this is to get your child into a grammar school, perhaps you should rethink your priorities. Is said child even in primary school yet? I am horrified at parents who start preparing in Years 2 or 3, never mind at this age. Talk to them in proper english, ensure they know the words for things around them, read to them a lot, let them splash in puddles and play as much as they want and hopefully you will have not only an intelligent child but also a happy one.

[yoyo123]

let him be himself, look at things, go for walks, TALK about everything...

[nefertete]

Some parents are not bothered and let their kids play by themselves because they want their kids to be themselves. IMO, one can never be happy until one is oneself.
I think making poor helpless children (or anyone for that reason) do something against their wish is deep down violence… of course i understand the limitations of this.
Also, some parents don't want to start stuffing their children with books, toys, puzzles, computer games .… because they want to wait till 7 years when the child is developing the capacity to learn.
s.

Who speaks about stuffing the kids here??? Or forcing them to learn against their will??Children at this young age can only learn through play and I suppose that's only what we are talking about here, in which case it is pure joy for them. They thrive in environment full of stimuli, because their brains are like sponges. They love counting, or singing songs, as long as they are exposed to this kind of skills, then it becomes something natural for them, not violence! Exposing them to books, puzzles etc is what they love, especially when they do it with parents. The day is long and one can fit a bit of everything for the child. There is time to play, and time to relax, and time to listen to a story, and time to sing songs or do puzzles. Why would that stop them from being themselves??? Children who haven't been taught to sit down and relax and listen or do something else than splashing in muddy puddles, will find it more difficult at school later, concentrate on an activity or do what they are asked to (in fact they might be unbearable to anyone else but their parents 7 years may be the right age to start formal education at school, but children are ready to learn from the day they are born. And we as parents can guide them, and there is nothing wrong with that.
My understanding of the question asked originally by the lady was about ways to teach your child in a concealed way, not by force.
I would disagree that counting or learning alphabet is purely chanting meaningless phrases for them. My currently two year old can give me his toys and count them ( in his own silly way), but clearly he understands the concept of more than one.

[Tinkers]

Encourage their curiosity. If they ask a question, then answer it, correctly. If you don't know the answer, then so and find out the answer together. Talk lots. Look at books together.


They don't need to be reading when they start school. My DD wasn't reading at the beginning of year 1. Achieved 3b in reading sats end of year 2. (Now at GS)

My sister (a secondary school teacher) refused to teach my niece to read before starting school, despite various people almost implying she was being negligent by not doing so. She told them She didn't want to teach my niece incorrectly and that she would have no problems catching up. Sure enough she caught up without any issues and was level2 by the end of year one. Maybe because and not in spite of not being taught before starting school.

[salsa]

Hi PinkPearl,
If the post read something like "how to interact and stimulate my 3 year old" maybe the responses would have been less alarmed. Preparing for the 11+ sounds pressurised. Many children who have a good education via attending good schools or having an enriched learning environment at home do not need to be too pressurised for the 11+. You often see those parents saying how little their children prepared. Other children are very gifted and did not need much preparation. The 11+, depending on the region, not only tests natural ability, but attainment in English and Maths. You could have a very intelligent child who does not enjoy those subjects and who has not attained much in English and Maths and not do very well. Other children want to prepare, have the maturity and do it themselves when the time comes. We see such conflicting advice on the forum when the question "how much preparation do I do with my child?" This is, of course, a bit of an unanswerable question as there are so many variables.

One thing you mention is your English. I don't know what language you speak with your child, however, improving your English will be invaluable if you want to help your child at home.
Other than that, as long as your child enjoys it, follow the advice already given to you about learning through play. Your child will guide you. Your child will either be interested or not. Interacting with your child will take a lot of your time, however, I hope you enjoy it too as many in this forum, including myself do. I think what is very positive is that you are clearly very interested in your child's development.

[kittymum]

It's fantastic that you want to do the best for your child. In mvho the most important thing you can do for your child at this age is to let them know they are loved and safe. I've seen sadly way too many children with attachment disorders and these are far more limiting on a child's ability to reach his/her potential then the age they can count to 10, recite the alphabet etc.

Children need to know that they are loved for who they are now, not what they might be, might attain, where they are in relation to Flossie at number 43 and so on. We shouldn't strive to make our children "the best" but allow them to be "their best".

I have a personal bug bear with this pressure on parents to constantly have their child ahead of their peers, as Oasis said we should Be Here Now (sorry it's late, there may have been wine ...)

Enjoy your 3 year old, hold them tight and cherish this time, they get big soooo quickly (still lovely but sadly it would seem less keen to hold your hand in public)

[PinkPearl]

Hi Salsa

That's it - that's what I wanted to say i.e I wanted to create an enriched home environment so my child is not pressurised for the 11 +. It's more for me to prepare myself to help him have fun play through learning way.

I speak to my child in English and I speak English. Yes, I completely agree about improving my own English. I am trying to self study here and there to fill the gaps in my education even though I did complete it.

Hi PinkPearl,
If the post read something like "how to interact and stimulate my 3 year old" maybe the responses would have been less alarmed. Preparing for the 11+ sounds pressurised. Many children who have a good education via attending good schools or having an enriched learning environment at home do not need to be too pressurised for the 11+. You often see those parents saying how little their children prepared. Other children are very gifted and did not need much preparation. The 11+, depending on the region, not only tests natural ability, but attainment in English and Maths. You could have a very intelligent child who does not enjoy those subjects and who has not attained much in English and Maths and not do very well. Other children want to prepare, have the maturity and do it themselves when the time comes. We see such conflicting advise on the forum when the question "how much preparation do I do with my child?" This is, of course, a bit of an unanswerable question as there are so many variables.

One thing you mention is your English. I don't know what language you speak with your child, however, improving your English will be invaluable if you want to help your child at home.
Other than that, as long as your child enjoys it, follow the advice already given to you about learning through play. Your child will guide you. Your child will either be interested or not. Interacting with your child will take a lot of your time, however, I hope you enjoy it too as many in this forum, including myself do. I think what is very positive is that you are clearly very interested in your child's development.

[PinkPearl]

Yes completely agree with everything you say particularly about brain being sponges. My son and other kids I know his age that quote things from books they have been read to in the right context/situation. I'm not sitting down and teaching my son how to do this and neither are the other kids I know of.

Yes that's right, I did mean in a concealed and not in anyway forceful

Some parents are not bothered and let their kids play by themselves because they want their kids to be themselves. IMO, one can never be happy until one is oneself.
I think making poor helpless children (or anyone for that reason) do something against their wish is deep down violence… of course i understand the limitations of this.
Also, some parents don't want to start stuffing their children with books, toys, puzzles, computer games .… because they want to wait till 7 years when the child is developing the capacity to learn.
s.

Who speaks about stuffing the kids here??? Or forcing them to learn against their will??Children at this young age can only learn through play and I suppose that's only what we are talking about here, in which case it is pure joy for them. They thrive in environment full of stimuli, because their brains are like sponges. They love counting, or singing songs, as long as they are exposed to this kind of skills, then it becomes something natural for them, not violence! Exposing them to books, puzzles etc is what they love, especially when they do it with parents. The day is long and one can fit a bit of everything for the child. There is time to play, and time to relax, and time to listen to a story, and time to sing songs or do puzzles. Why would that stop them from being themselves??? Children who haven't been taught to sit down and relax and listen or do something else than splashing in muddy puddles, will find it more difficult at school later, concentrate on an activity or do what they are asked to (in fact they might be unbearable to anyone else but their parents 7 years may be the right age to start formal education at school, but children are ready to learn from the day they are born. And we as parents can guide them, and there is nothing wrong with that.
My understanding of the question asked originally by the lady was about ways to teach your child in a concealed way, not by force.
I would disagree that counting or learning alphabet is purely chanting meaningless phrases for them. My currently two year old can give me his toys and count them ( in his own silly way), but clearly he understands the concept of more than one.

[berks_mum]

Some parents are not bothered and let their kids play by themselves because they want their kids to be themselves. IMO, one can never be happy until one is oneself.
I think making poor helpless children (or anyone for that reason) do something against their wish is deep down violence… of course i understand the limitations of this.
Also, some parents don't want to start stuffing their children with books, toys, puzzles, computer games .… because they want to wait till 7 years when the child is developing the capacity to learn.
s.

Who speaks about stuffing the kids here??? Or forcing them to learn against their will??

Who ? - quote below.
I thought, I used nature and wish synonymously.

From my observations, a lot of parents do not do any of this stuff with their children, either because they are not bothered that much about developing their child (thinking it will happen naturally anyway) or because they do not realise it is really important and could make a lot of difference.