11 Plus Exams Forum

Just wondered how openly you talk about what you are thinking/doing with regards to entrance exam prep.

I do chat to a couple of close mummy-mates, but generally it seems to be a taboo topic.

I think about 11+ at least as many times a day as men think about sex, so have to make an effort to not talk about it all the live long day...!

Never heard anyone talk about 11+ in quite that way before!

Have you got a secret stash of CEM 11+ practice papers hidden under your mattress that you take a sneaky peak at whenever you've got the place to yourself?

Yes



Yes



Yes

Not quite proud_dad, but I do update the colour scheme of our study plan spreadsheet quite often.

Asked DH to print it out at work and he came home with:

- 2 double sides A4 copies 'to stick in DS notebook'
- 2 A3 copies 'to stick on the wall'
- a booklet version i.e. with 4 pages that were in the correct orientation

I am one step away from laminating the A4 copies and using them as placemats.

*clamp hand over mouth to stop any more crazy talk escaping*

I'll have what stroller's having...

Just lie through your teeth! Just tell other (completely lying) mummies that you are doing absolutely NO prep except 1 x 10 minute Bond the day before, that you believe any child who is coached will struggle as soon as the coaching stops and that only non-coached children (the holy grail by the way, none exist!) deserve top be in grammar school. Ooh, any other chips I can offload from my shoulders?????

Don't discuss at all, it'll drive you (even) batty(ier)

This is the right place for you! You can talk freely and will find other like minded people. We've got everything in this forum!

Out in the "real world", you will most likely be judged no matter what. Judged for preparing at all; for choosing a selective school; for preparing too much (because probably your child is not up to it, or poor thing, you are mad and torturing the poor child); for preparing too little (then your poor child will be set up for failure and it will be all your fault). If your child does well, it won't be anything to do with how able he or she is, it's how hard you got him/her to work. In short, you can't win!

So, sadly, I would save the comments for the "virtual world".

I did give some ideas on what it might be an idea to cover to some people ...... it felt mean not to. Everyone seemed to make out that they were doing nothing. I didn't believe them.

I has happy to chat and give suggestions to parents when the children were in other years and with no siblings in the same class as ours. To parents in the same year it was 'we are just doing a bit of revision and exam technique'. It was their child vs. ours, and there's no helping the competition!

Do warring forces encode their communications? Is there bluff and double-bluff in espionage? Are diplomatic pacts made and then broken? Oh the "joy" of it all for we 11+ parents!

Agree with Yasmin and salsa that I doubt other parents are completely honest.

Also agree that you are bound to be judged no matter what your approach. The school DS is aiming for isn't super selective and we live within the catchment area so as long as he gets above a certain score he will get a place.

Therefore other children in our circle are not competition 2girlsmum. But there is still an air of 'the subject that dare not speak it's name' about it all.

I have shared my plan with a couple of mums, one of whom I realised hasn't been as open with her prep. Her DS let a comment slip once which gave away that they had done more than she had let on lol. But don't mind this at all. Everyone is different and come to the journey from a very personal vantage point.

For me, I'm a kind of open person so it's taking some self discipline to restrain myself.

Am very surprised that there isn't a humourous blog/novel entitled 'The Secret Confessions of an 11+ Parent'!

Or will someone set me straight on this!

(Off to google this instead of making tea).