Confused and need some guidance

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ConfusedFather
Posts: 127
Joined: Mon Jul 13, 2015 9:35 pm

Re: Confused and need some guidance

Post by ConfusedFather »

Thank you all for the many reasuring and informative replies.

Some clarifications:

- Oxbridge is not a goal in itself. Who knows what they will like and want to do. However, should they want to go to Oxbridge, I would rather they knew the secret skills needed to get there. And since I don't understand why some bright people full of relevant A* cannot get in when some with lower grades can, this hints at some other filter at play, possibly like US universities (show lots of extra curricular activities, the accent, the type of general culture, etc...)

- yes, the same school may not be the best, and things will change as both of them develop. The reason that I am keen on it at this point in time, is that my youngest will has currently a statistical 90% chance of being bullied due to his SEN when he hits secondary school. And having his brother protect him or comfort him in those years would help a lot, until such a time that he has to learn to toughen up (or that some teens grow up from their cruelty).

- I don't think I would consider a commute to Wycombe (even though it should be only 30 minutes from where we live). I'd consider moving there instead. But if policies impose living there for the year preceding the 11+, that means that, should we want to follow that option, we should move in 2 years time, which means next year we need to start looking at houses and assess whether the upheaval of moving would be worth it.

- yes, I am conscious GS/independent are not the holy Grail. 90% of people go on to live happy lives without them. I do believe that they do open up a bigger universe of possibilities (in the mathematical sense). More options, more culture, more exposure to things one may have not thought of. Also, especially for competitive schools, there is not such a big stigma to be good academically. As many academically achievers, I did end up for some years lowering my grades on purpose to be more socially accepted. And the sad thing is that it worked. In an average school, it can feel that it's better to look average to fit in. If my kids do end up enjoying over-achieving, it would be sad for them to under-deliver in order to fit in.

- we are indeed in the Reading school catchment (though we'd end up with 30+ minute journey due to Reading's legendary traffic jams). If either is accepted there, I'd probably consider moving houses.

- there is only one state comp around, rated 2 (I think I read this means it's anywhere between the 30th and 80th percentile?)
Guest55
Posts: 16254
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:21 pm

Re: Confused and need some guidance

Post by Guest55 »

Ofsted is not the way to judge a school - many schools rated 'outstanding' before Sept 2012 (when the rules changed) would NOT be outstanding now. There is a drive to lower the number of outstanding schools ...

Look at the data about your local school on here:

https://www.gov.uk/school-performance-tables" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

What is the PROGRESS like?

There is no secret to getting into Oxbridge that a Private school gives you. As I said it is not the best place for some degrees and pathways and it certainly does not suit many of my brightest students.

High Wycombe does not have many good alternatives if the 11+ qualification is missed - St Michael's (Catholic) is the strongest Upper school - there are no comps.
Sally-Anne
Posts: 9235
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 8:10 pm
Location: Buckinghamshire

Re: Confused and need some guidance

Post by Sally-Anne »

ConfusedFather wrote:- I don't think I would consider a commute to Wycombe (even though it should be only 30 minutes from where we live). I'd consider moving there instead. But if policies impose living there for the year preceding the 11+, that means that, should we want to follow that option, we should move in 2 years time
As I said above, you would need to be resident at the address from which you are applying on 1st October of the year in which the child takes the 11+, which is one year ahead of the move to Secondary school.

None of the Bucks grammars has an admissions policy that requires residence for a whole year ahead of taking the test, so I'm not sure where you have got that information from.

You should also be aware that some of the alternative schools within Bucks (the Upper schools) can leave something to be desired and may not live up to the standard of your local Comp, so even if your older son qualifies and you move to Bucks, the outcome for your younger son may not be all that you might wish for.
Tolstoy
Posts: 2755
Joined: Wed Aug 13, 2008 5:25 pm

Re: Confused and need some guidance

Post by Tolstoy »

Logistically it is much easier to have DC at same school. However the relationship between 5 and 7 year old brothers can be very different than that between teenage brothers. From your comments I am assuming that DS2 struggles to fit in with the social stereotype. We had a similar situation with ours and a wonderful relationship was absolutely ruined when both ended up in the same class near the end of primary.

It is nice to think of big brother keeping an eye on little bro but it is a big ask and not something to be relied on.

Very jaded DP here with all sorts of school experiences and personally think SB3 is right. If you have the opportunity move to a village with a great Comprehensive on your doorstep and an easy commute then go for it. Spend your time focusing on life skills for DS2 and not tedious 11+ revision.
MmeOgg
Posts: 153
Joined: Sun Oct 28, 2012 4:44 pm

Re: Confused and need some guidance

Post by MmeOgg »

When I started thinking about secondary options for my DD during Y4, I felt really worried because I heard terrible anecdotes about local comprehensive schools and I didn't really understand the 11+ system.
By the time we were actually applying for schools, I'd visited every local GS and comprehensive option. I'd compared results. I'd looked at past 11+ papers. I'd spoken to parents from a range of schools. And (although I was still a bit confused and uncertain about how it would all eventually play out) I felt a lot better informed. And, surprisingly, I actually felt a lot more confident about the local comprehensives - even the one that was in special measures at the time. I began to feel that DD would do well where ever she ended up going.

The process of visiting schools and educating myself was really helpful - I'd recommend that you start visiting schools this autumn. Don't take your DCs - open schools visits can be busy and confusing for small children. And you will be slightly unusual as your eldest is still so young - but better to start educating yourself now than panic for another couple of years. Take a look around and listen to what the HTs have to say.
loobylou
Posts: 2032
Joined: Thu Nov 27, 2014 5:04 pm

Re: Confused and need some guidance

Post by loobylou »

Hi, I think you sound as though you are being very sensible and pro-active about things. I think you do have to have thought about possible scenarios before they arise.

I would second everyone else's views that nothing beats visiting schools. Many times 2 OFSTED reports can sound almost identical and yet the schools can seem very very different. Your children's school experience will not just be about results; there is so much more to school life and the ethos of the school plays a big part in their experience. I started looking around schools at the end of year 3 because we were considering the selective route and I wanted to know whether or not that was realistic for us - I wanted to ensure that I liked the selective schools because, if we didn't, then I needed to know what my other options were. So that would have been the year my dd turned 8, not much older than your oldest.
ConfusedFather
Posts: 127
Joined: Mon Jul 13, 2015 9:35 pm

Re: Confused and need some guidance

Post by ConfusedFather »

Sally-Anne wrote:
None of the Bucks grammars has an admissions policy that requires residence for a whole year ahead of taking the test, so I'm not sure where you have got that information from.
I may have misunderstood, but this thread seem to indicate they have started changing the rules (quite rightly I think)
http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/forum/ ... 12&t=35620" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Sally-Anne
Posts: 9235
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 8:10 pm
Location: Buckinghamshire

Re: Confused and need some guidance

Post by Sally-Anne »

ConfusedFather wrote:I may have misunderstood, but this thread seem to indicate they have started changing the rules (quite rightly I think)
http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/forum/ ... 12&t=35620" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Yes, I'm afraid you have misunderstood - you are getting confused with the test date vs. date of admission.

If your child were taking the 11+ this year, for admission in September 2016, the timeline is this:

10th September 2015: Date of 11+ test
1st October 2015: Address evidence deadline
16th Ocotber 2015: 11+ results published
31st October 2015: Deadline to submit the CAF (Common Application Form)
1st March 2016: School allocations published
September 2016: Admission to school

The date change referred to in that thread was this for this reason.

Previously address evidence was required on 31st October, i.e. after the test results were known, which allowed people living elsewhere to get the results and hastily rent a property within a stone's throw of their preferred school, thus potentially displacing an applicant who has lived in Bucks or nearby for years.

The change to 1st October prevents that. The only school with a more stringent requirement is Challoners Boys, where residence must be proven on 1st April in the year prior to admission, i.e. 18 months before admission.

If your older son is currently in Y2, under the current rules you would need to move (if you decide to do so) by 1st October 2018.
Lillie
Posts: 231
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 2:34 pm

Re: Confused and need some guidance

Post by Lillie »

Sorry to hijack topic here and speak of Bucks GS admissions, but I wonder why there is an address policy at all when some of the GS offer places at 20+ miles away and completely out of so-called catchment areas?
ConfusedFather
Posts: 127
Joined: Mon Jul 13, 2015 9:35 pm

Re: Confused and need some guidance

Post by ConfusedFather »

Sally-Anne wrote:
ConfusedFather wrote:I may have misunderstood, but this thread seem to indicate they have started changing the rules (quite rightly I think)
http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/forum/ ... 12&t=35620" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Yes, I'm afraid you have misunderstood - you are getting confused with the test date vs. date of admission.

If your child were taking the 11+ this year, for admission in September 2016, the timeline is this:

10th September 2015: Date of 11+ test
1st October 2015: Address evidence deadline
16th Ocotber 2015: 11+ results published
31st October 2015: Deadline to submit the CAF (Common Application Form)
1st March 2016: School allocations published
September 2016: Admission to school

The date change referred to in that thread was this for this reason.

Previously address evidence was required on 31st October, i.e. after the test results were known, which allowed people living elsewhere to get the results and hastily rent a property within a stone's throw of their preferred school, thus potentially displacing an applicant who has lived in Bucks or nearby for years.

The change to 1st October prevents that. The only school with a more stringent requirement is Challoners Boys, where residence must be proven on 1st April in the year prior to admission, i.e. 18 months before admission.

If your older son is currently in Y2, under the current rules you would need to move (if you decide to do so) by 1st October 2018.
Thank you for explaining that thread. I did say I am confused :wink:
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