Educating a footballer!
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Guest
Should have added...
Next year probably seems an age away to your son. He may buck up when the exams seem imminent. The good news is that if the basic ability is there, and a child has a solid grounding in maths and English, it really doesn't take that long to give them the familiarisation practice they need to get their speed up for NVR /VR. A month will make a huge difference. The problem is when the child has not learnt the basics at primary school and you are faced with teaching them half the maths syllabus and what a sentence is. That does take a bit longer.
Next year probably seems an age away to your son. He may buck up when the exams seem imminent. The good news is that if the basic ability is there, and a child has a solid grounding in maths and English, it really doesn't take that long to give them the familiarisation practice they need to get their speed up for NVR /VR. A month will make a huge difference. The problem is when the child has not learnt the basics at primary school and you are faced with teaching them half the maths syllabus and what a sentence is. That does take a bit longer.
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Guest
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Lola
Drastic dad,
I fully second guest's advice re taking control and being in charge! I also think a little subtle bribery would be appropriate ie when x amount of work has been done then x amount of time can be spent eating, drinking and breathing footie so to speak! You will be resisted initially but you have to stand your ground and stick to what you've said. I've 2 kids.. girl in year 5 and boy in year 4 and have recently adopted this "method" after suffering years of stress! Believe me it works. My daughter loves netball but has missed training sessions if her homework has not been satisfactorily completed. Yes I've had to face the rudeness and moodiness but slowly the penny drops with kids if you are consistent with them and do not waver!
Both my kids have limited time on net, DS, TV etc and once they realise you are serious with them you do start to get more co operation.
May be you could draw up a timetable with him so he has some input and that way you both are clear about the expectations.
Good luck!
I fully second guest's advice re taking control and being in charge! I also think a little subtle bribery would be appropriate ie when x amount of work has been done then x amount of time can be spent eating, drinking and breathing footie so to speak! You will be resisted initially but you have to stand your ground and stick to what you've said. I've 2 kids.. girl in year 5 and boy in year 4 and have recently adopted this "method" after suffering years of stress! Believe me it works. My daughter loves netball but has missed training sessions if her homework has not been satisfactorily completed. Yes I've had to face the rudeness and moodiness but slowly the penny drops with kids if you are consistent with them and do not waver!
Both my kids have limited time on net, DS, TV etc and once they realise you are serious with them you do start to get more co operation.
May be you could draw up a timetable with him so he has some input and that way you both are clear about the expectations.
Good luck!
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Drastic Dad
- Posts: 138
- Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:14 am
- Location: Middlesex
Ah good old stylistics! Dr Watson, I can sense the difference between these posts!Anonymous wrote:Sorry Drastic Dad
There are at least 2 of us guests on here cross-posting anonomously! Just to keep you guessing. Try to tell which posts belong together by applying the techniques of Sherlock Holmes.
Excellent responses. I love this MB. I will definitely buy the CDs. Maybe the attraction of using Dady's new laptop might tempt him enough. he can use his iMac for surfing BBC football pages, laptop for exam work only. This Nintendo has to be sorted out. My kids don't watch television (apart from the footie on normal channels, we don't have SKY) so I am not worried about tele (thank God for that, can't stand the Idiot's Lantern).
Hi Just to add I found it much easier to get my son to do 11+ work as soon as he got in from school, quick bite to eat and down to work, then the rest of the night was up to him. We used a tutor on a sat am and homework on sat afternoon while he was still in work mode. Then Rugby Sunday am and football and rugby wtaching Sunday PM. If he has school work too then this should be slotted into evenings during the week instead of 11+ work. we found the tutor's maths work was more streaching than his school work anyway and when he entered year 6 was a high level 5 in maths so it is worth sticking at it....Also if the Grammar schools you are looking at have a sports edge it's worth pointing this out to him as it is an incentive to work towards getting a place there...Sue
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Guest
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Drastic Dad
- Posts: 138
- Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:14 am
- Location: Middlesex
He gets daily homework from school (30 minutes to 1 hour) and he does it at 5:00PM, till 6:00 PM (filling the left-over time with reading if the work finishes before 6:00 PM). Dinner at 6:20 PM and after dinner it is all wastage of time and footie talk. His present school has a very good sports setup and I am afraid the grammar schools might not be able to match it. I can teach him therefore he does not need a tutor, he only has to realise the importance of this task and the help and resources available to him.Suesole wrote:Hi Just to add I found it much easier to get my son to do 11+ work as soon as he got in from school, quick bite to eat and down to work, then the rest of the night was up to him. We used a tutor on a sat am and homework on sat afternoon while he was still in work mode. Then Rugby Sunday am and football and rugby wtaching Sunday PM. If he has school work too then this should be slotted into evenings during the week instead of 11+ work. we found the tutor's maths work was more streaching than his school work anyway and when he entered year 6 was a high level 5 in maths so it is worth sticking at it....Also if the Grammar schools you are looking at have a sports edge it's worth pointing this out to him as it is an incentive to work towards getting a place there...Sue
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Drastic Dad
- Posts: 138
- Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:14 am
- Location: Middlesex
I have played Brain Age it measured my brain aged 42, 4 years older than my body (this is what the stress of four children and a full time night shift job can do to you!) I'll look into Brain Training, I am sure it is upstairs in their room somewhere. My sister-in-law made her kids play this game when they went for their 11+ last year.Anonymous wrote:I use a timer with the Playstation - my children are allowed half an hour a day. I also insist that they do Brain Training (specific programmes from within it are required), which they can usually complete in the car on the way to school. No Brain Training, no pocket money (on a day-by-day basis).
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Melx
Hi Drastic Dad
I am sorry but I had to giggle at your post. I too have a son who is mad about football. He too carries an awful lot of very obscure information/stats in his brain and the family call him Stato!! He does play the FIFA games and watches matches he has actually seen live and insists on staying up to watch many night matches. He knows the strip colours,grounds,postions etc of all teams and knows stuff about Referees that wouldn't interest even the most interested person! However I do think he was worse before he started secondary school as then he had alot more time. When I prepared him for his 11+ two years ago I did put my foot down but only after we took him to see the schools and he decided he wanted ot go to the Grammar he is in now. Fortunately my husband and I were in agreement as to priorities then even tho my husband is 'Stato Senior'. We told my son that it was more likely he could become a 'Football Reporter' because he was so good at remembering stuff but that if he didn't get into a good school then he wouldn't stand a chance. We reduced the PS playing and at some times I did take it away. Believe it or not when they realise you mean business they do 'get it'. I did used to struggle with the guilt thing and still do even now but I stick to my guns. You can use the bribery thing but firstly you need to take away the PS and only give that back as a reward for 11+ practise. If I were you I would sit your boy down and tell him with notice when you will be taking his PS away. Do ensure tho that you explain he is not being punished for anything but that you know he needs to cut down in order to be able to take on the practise he will need to pass the test and that when he is is in Secondary(grammar or not) he will haveto cut down anyway in order to handle all the extra homework. Allow him as much play as he likes(after homework etc) up until that day but ensure he knows it is going and whatever he does stick to your guns. Maybe you can agree that for the next 6 months he will only be allowed play on certain days at certain times. Let him choose the days and tell him that if he puts lots of effort into his practise that maybe after three months you can review.
I don't think there is anything wrong in your sons passion as it shows he can focus when he wants to but he also needs to be reminded of who is in charge and thats you. You also need to agree all of this with your wife as she has to support you.
Finally I haveto say its great to read what the guest said about being firm and not gulity about it when it comes to our kids because thats what we haveto be if we are to do best by them.
Infact I will copy and paste some of what guest said and will read it everytime my son attempts to make me feel
'The worst Mother in the world !!!'
Good luck.
Mel
PS
I am tutoring my daughter as of January so will be happy to share ideas and would welcome any you can give me too
I am sorry but I had to giggle at your post. I too have a son who is mad about football. He too carries an awful lot of very obscure information/stats in his brain and the family call him Stato!! He does play the FIFA games and watches matches he has actually seen live and insists on staying up to watch many night matches. He knows the strip colours,grounds,postions etc of all teams and knows stuff about Referees that wouldn't interest even the most interested person! However I do think he was worse before he started secondary school as then he had alot more time. When I prepared him for his 11+ two years ago I did put my foot down but only after we took him to see the schools and he decided he wanted ot go to the Grammar he is in now. Fortunately my husband and I were in agreement as to priorities then even tho my husband is 'Stato Senior'. We told my son that it was more likely he could become a 'Football Reporter' because he was so good at remembering stuff but that if he didn't get into a good school then he wouldn't stand a chance. We reduced the PS playing and at some times I did take it away. Believe it or not when they realise you mean business they do 'get it'. I did used to struggle with the guilt thing and still do even now but I stick to my guns. You can use the bribery thing but firstly you need to take away the PS and only give that back as a reward for 11+ practise. If I were you I would sit your boy down and tell him with notice when you will be taking his PS away. Do ensure tho that you explain he is not being punished for anything but that you know he needs to cut down in order to be able to take on the practise he will need to pass the test and that when he is is in Secondary(grammar or not) he will haveto cut down anyway in order to handle all the extra homework. Allow him as much play as he likes(after homework etc) up until that day but ensure he knows it is going and whatever he does stick to your guns. Maybe you can agree that for the next 6 months he will only be allowed play on certain days at certain times. Let him choose the days and tell him that if he puts lots of effort into his practise that maybe after three months you can review.
I don't think there is anything wrong in your sons passion as it shows he can focus when he wants to but he also needs to be reminded of who is in charge and thats you. You also need to agree all of this with your wife as she has to support you.
Finally I haveto say its great to read what the guest said about being firm and not gulity about it when it comes to our kids because thats what we haveto be if we are to do best by them.
Infact I will copy and paste some of what guest said and will read it everytime my son attempts to make me feel
'The worst Mother in the world !!!'
Good luck.
Mel
PS
I am tutoring my daughter as of January so will be happy to share ideas and would welcome any you can give me too
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Guest
Hi Drastic Dad,
I'm the Guest (with four kids too) who posted earlier! I've now logged on so you can pm if you like! I've reread your original post. It is hard having so many children. Motivating them (and yourself) is NOT easy! So much energy is drained from you with the everyday tasks of juggling four children (and work!). I'm assuming it's your eldest about to embark on the eleven plus road? My youngest has just completed his.
When my eldest started out I did put my foot down and take control. With three younger children racing round I needed order in the home! There will be time enough to reason and discuss (serious) things when they are all in their teens. If they are all ten and under - you are (mostly) wasting you're time! Children of this age need firm guidance as I think they are too young to know better! They need parents/carers to structure their time a little more. e.g. -play time, work time, quiet time, nintendo time, wild time... You don't have to decide for them exactly what they do... Okay... I lied... You CAN tell them to sit down with a book and be quiet for half an hour!! lol
I'm guessing your house is a little like mine... 4 Kids (mostly) doing what they want, when they want, and you don't have the energy to do anything about it? You know you're not happy with things the way they are, but to change it seems too great a fight? Obstacles at every turn waiting to leave you even MORE exhausted... and for what? More aggravation? Yes... I've left mine in front of their 'obsession' all day becasue I couldn't bear the thought of the aggravation to do otherwise! Don't get depressed over it - It's no big deal!
I'm quite sure you are raising four happy, healthy children!! What I think you need MORE than advice on your children's forthcoming 11+, is actually a pat on the back for doing a great job with them so far. Be kinder on yourself and don't punish yourself for traits/activities, you, (at the moment), deem as undesirable in your children lives. If you stay on this site you'll notice that we're all the same! If it's not football or nintendo - it's msn, music (the noisy kind!), TV, Playsation, Wii. It's the excessive that bothers us (and many parents) - so tackle that first, and firmly. You'll have to keep at it though! The nintendo may get replaced with an electric guitar or drum kit in five years time. All good and well until it's played 10 hours a day!
When it gets tough - (sometimes) demand they balance their lives a little better! Put your foot down now and again! No Discussions!
I now regularly remind my children there are consequences for their actions (or non action). I hope it will bring out (by the time they leave home) the self-discipline and responsibility I know is hiding there inside them!
And remind yourself from time to time... Children DO grow up... despite their parents!
Belinda
I'm the Guest (with four kids too) who posted earlier! I've now logged on so you can pm if you like! I've reread your original post. It is hard having so many children. Motivating them (and yourself) is NOT easy! So much energy is drained from you with the everyday tasks of juggling four children (and work!). I'm assuming it's your eldest about to embark on the eleven plus road? My youngest has just completed his.
When my eldest started out I did put my foot down and take control. With three younger children racing round I needed order in the home! There will be time enough to reason and discuss (serious) things when they are all in their teens. If they are all ten and under - you are (mostly) wasting you're time! Children of this age need firm guidance as I think they are too young to know better! They need parents/carers to structure their time a little more. e.g. -play time, work time, quiet time, nintendo time, wild time... You don't have to decide for them exactly what they do... Okay... I lied... You CAN tell them to sit down with a book and be quiet for half an hour!! lol
I'm guessing your house is a little like mine... 4 Kids (mostly) doing what they want, when they want, and you don't have the energy to do anything about it? You know you're not happy with things the way they are, but to change it seems too great a fight? Obstacles at every turn waiting to leave you even MORE exhausted... and for what? More aggravation? Yes... I've left mine in front of their 'obsession' all day becasue I couldn't bear the thought of the aggravation to do otherwise! Don't get depressed over it - It's no big deal!
I'm quite sure you are raising four happy, healthy children!! What I think you need MORE than advice on your children's forthcoming 11+, is actually a pat on the back for doing a great job with them so far. Be kinder on yourself and don't punish yourself for traits/activities, you, (at the moment), deem as undesirable in your children lives. If you stay on this site you'll notice that we're all the same! If it's not football or nintendo - it's msn, music (the noisy kind!), TV, Playsation, Wii. It's the excessive that bothers us (and many parents) - so tackle that first, and firmly. You'll have to keep at it though! The nintendo may get replaced with an electric guitar or drum kit in five years time. All good and well until it's played 10 hours a day!
When it gets tough - (sometimes) demand they balance their lives a little better! Put your foot down now and again! No Discussions!
I now regularly remind my children there are consequences for their actions (or non action). I hope it will bring out (by the time they leave home) the self-discipline and responsibility I know is hiding there inside them!
And remind yourself from time to time... Children DO grow up... despite their parents!
Belinda
