Not Pushing children

[katel]

"He is a bright boy and to date has done well in his school(year8) but to be honest because I know that at a Grammar school he is now amongst some extremely bright boys I guess I worry he won't achieve as well as he could without that extra push? "

I don't understand. Why does him being among bright boys mean he won't achieve as well as he could? I've found that my bright but not superbright daughter has actually raised her game because she is among other girls who are as bright as her or brighter, rather than her being comfortably in the top 15% of her class as she was in year 6.

[guest8]

i am new to this forum. one of my children is going to local comprehensive school. my younger one wanted to sit this exam as children in the class were discussing it. she didn't have any tutoring at all. she has passed the exam. both my children are doing really well in school they are very creative but one is better in maths so she managed to pass this exam. all these children are going for tutoring for one whole year and doing so many papers before sitting the exam. i think that it is cheating as you learn the technique so that you can pass. but there are children who are very bright but don't go tutoring and they fail. no matter which school my younger one goes to she will do really well in all aspects of life as she works independently. she will have my support whenever she needs it. i don't know why is it important for people that their child goes to a grammar school. may be they don't have faith in their children. may be they feel that if their children go to a grammar school they have done everything as parents.

[Guest]

To Guest 8: Are you going to allow your daughter to study for her GCSE or is this cheating? Will you tell the school not to allow her to practise past papers?

[essex-mum18]

i am new to this forum. one of my children is going to local comprehensive school. my younger one wanted to sit this exam as children in the class were discussing it. she didn't have any tutoring at all. she has passed the exam. both my children are doing really well in school they are very creative but one is better in maths so she managed to pass this exam. all these children are going for tutoring for one whole year and doing so many papers before sitting the exam. i think that it is cheating as you learn the technique so that you can pass. but there are children who are very bright but don't go tutoring and they fail. no matter which school my younger one goes to she will do really well in all aspects of life as she works independently. she will have my support whenever she needs it. i don't know why is it important for people that their child goes to a grammar school. may be they don't have faith in their children. may be they feel that if their children go to a grammar school they have done everything as parents.

I would not dare to say a learner driver who gets a tutor/ instructor to learn the correct techniques before the driving exam cheating.

Also, I do not think that the parents do not have faith in their children. Most likely they lost faith in the current education system.

[guest8]

To Guest 8: Are you going to allow your daughter to study for her GCSE or is this cheating? Will you tell the school not to allow her to practise past papers?

I am not saying that they shouldn't prepare for exams. i am saying that there are children who are very bright but their parents cannot affort a tutor and these children don't get a chance. while on the other hand there are children who only pass these tests because they have been going to tutor and practicing for over a year. I think we as a society don't care what is happening around us, we are just bothered about our own problems. wouldn't it be perfect if we had good comprehensive schools with discipline of private schools. after all we all pay our taxes.

[scatshouse]

Guest8 wrote:

I am not saying that they shouldn't prepare for exams. i am saying that there are children who are very bright but their parents cannot affort a tutor and these children don't get a chance.

This is not true for us, I had no idea how much some children are tutored, until recently, and nor could I afford it if I did know anyway, but my daughter passed two years ago in Wirral having just a total of 4 sessions with a tutor and 4 practice papers at home.

This year my son has taken the tests after just a total of 7 practice papers at home (We did have 8 but we mislaid 1!!) Whether this was enough for him we'll have to wait and see but it was enough for my daughter and she is doing very well at her grammar school. If the child is bright enough they have just as much chance as any, and probably cope better with the work later on.

scatshouse

[Guest]

To Guest 8: Are you going to allow your daughter to study for her GCSE or is this cheating? Will you tell the school not to allow her to practise past papers?

I am not saying that they shouldn't prepare for exams. i am saying that there are children who are very bright but their parents cannot affort a tutor and these children don't get a chance. while on the other hand there are children who only pass these tests because they have been going to tutor and practicing for over a year.

But you have just said your daughter passed without any tutoring. How do you account for that?

[Melx]

Chad

Do you mind telling me what your thoughts are on the grading system. My sons school gives grades and the end of each term. They grade A*-F with 1-5 for effort across all 15 subjects(he's year 8 ). You see I guess because of this I do tend to push my son as I feel that he is always being assessed and to be very honest I guess I want him to always achieve A's and B's. Is that too pushy

Mel

[chad]

This is quite a hard one Melx.

The Effort grades should (in my book) be 1's, 2's and the occasional 3 (PE for my son this term - hey-ho ...he's never going to be a proffesional footballer).
Giving attainment grades A-F without comparing it to what the teacher thinks he should achieve is a bit harsh.

I prefer the 'target' level idea... therefore if (like my son with English) they struggle with a subject and always have, then you can see whether they are progressing againd a target level that is set on a personal basis.
My son would never achieve a Grade A in English no matter how hard I pushed him.... therefore him achieving a Level 5+ this term (which would probably be a Grade C) against a target of Level 6 for the end of Y8 makes me proud of him....

I would say as long as the 'effort' grades are good then you should be happy with your son's performance. Strengths and weaknesses can be worked on and if there is a particular subject that (even though he is putting in the effort) he is not achieving good grades then you could talk it through with him and see why.
It can be as simple as not getting on with a new teacher....

[Road Runner]

Me again

Thanks for that Chad. It's good to read someone else's view. I like you want my son to do well but don't want to make him feel he has let me down if he doesn't always get the best grades. As it happens he got his toay and they were mainly A and B with all efforts bar one being ones and twos so we are very pleased particularly as he has been rehearsing for a big show for the last couple of months to so admits hishomework has suffered. I think because I haven't been through the seondary school system before and he is the first in the family to achieve Grammar school(niether my husband or I did either) we don't always know quite what to expect, which is why although he took his 11+ two years ago I still stay tuned.

I have a daughter in year 5 now so will no doubt be on here consatantly from the new year onwards.

Mel