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 Post subject: parents pushing for kids
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:55 am 
I am a girl who is 14 years old and live in Minnesota. my parents are trying to help me on everthing and I dont like it.Like my dad is really good at math and I sometimes get a few wrong so they are always wanting to help me but today on my math we went through it in class did 4 problems and they were all corect and I DID know how to do them but my dad was still like"get over to the table" and it is starting to anoy me :roll: and I have to be home by6 on school nights and in bed by 9:30 and I think that it is just to early to go to bed.

I am getting really stressed about it and I know that it is starting to affect meat school and I want to be alone more often :cry: :? :(

Please tell me what to do about parents that are over protective and are very pushy pushy!

thankyou so much!!!


 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 11:45 am 

Joined: Tue Dec 13, 2005 12:49 pm
Posts: 1647
Location: berkshire
I have sat reading your post and trying to work out what to say. You are obviously unhappy with the situation and...Yes... at 14 you do tend to need more of your own 'space'.
Can you sit down with your parents and explain that you need to become more independent with your schoolwork and only ask for help when you cannot see the answer yourself or would like some constructive criticism.

'Back before' & 'bed' timings are always going to be a problem between parents & children. It was the same when I was a child. Can you work out some sort of compromise? Maybe one night a week (if you are not overloaded with homework) you could stay out til 7..... or an extended 'bed' time on alternate days.
You could also raise the issue by saying...

'Do you think it would be possible for me to stay out til 7 on Wednesdays'......or 'On Tuesdays and Thursdays could I stay up til 10.....if you think I am getting too tired then we could go back to 9.30'

Don't expect a decision straight away... it may take a couple of days.
Always remember that your parents are trying to raise you the best way they can....children don't come with an instruction manual :roll: and teenagers do change so quickly it sometimes takes parents a while to realise that their son/daughter is on their way to becoming an adult.
Good luck

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 1:58 pm 
Hi Jessica kate

I know if I was your parent and read this it would help. Do you think you could conveniently leave your pc on with this forum open when you think one of them may read it. If not then why don't you ask them if you can sit down with them and talk to them about how you feel. Your parents I am sure would appreciate it better then argueing anyime they seem to be being unfair with you.

On the matter of your dad and his math why not demonstrate to him that you do 'get it' e.g bring your math book home and show him what you done at school and how it makes sense before you start your homework then ask him if he woduln't mind just checking it over when you have finished.

I am sure your dad just wants to ensure you really do your best and doesn't want you to struggle. As parents we spend so much of our time showing you and teaching you that even as you get older we find it very hard to let go, it's because we love you.

Finally on the bed time thing, I know it's no consolation but lots of us insist on our children going to bed early and I try and explain to my son it is not just because he needs hs sleep but also the later it is the more TV becomes unsuitable and also parents need thier space too. Why not ask if you can read or listne to music in bed for some extra 'me' time before actually going to sleep.

Good luck


 Post subject: possibly pushy parent
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 10:39 pm 
Dear Jessica Kate

I am not sure that without further information anyone can give a satisfactory answer to your question.

Other than giving you help with maths when you do not want it, what does your Dad do that makes you consider him "pushy"?

How much time each day does your Dad give you unwanted help with schoolwork?

Has he considered helping you with you written English instead of maths? Would you prefer to do that?

Why does his help stress you and make you want to "be on your own"?

What form does your stress take? Are you sure that it is your Dad helping you with maths that causes this stress and not something else in your life?

What activities are you missing by having to be home by 6pm every day?

What time do you have to get up in the morning? Unless you get up quite late, 9:30 bedtime on a school night does not sound early to me. Some 14 year olds would need to go to bed earlier than this to get the amount of sleep they need to function well at school.

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