Are we OK with DIY or should I get a tutor?

[Exams2018]

DD will be taking exams next year. We are targeting Kent schools, Wallington girls and Newstead wood.

We started DIY prep last year (Y4) and did a fair bit of work on basics. DD and I share a good working relationship and I enjoy teaching, so it is progressing fine. At the moment, I know what exactly are her weak areas. We are working on them and we just started doing GL assessment papers to get a feel of how she is doing. She gets 80-85% in VR. Maths she gets 70 - 85% making LOTs of silly mistakes (I thought she was good at maths!). We are still doing Bond assessment books with NVR. She gets around 80%. English is our pain point, mainly because of her reading habits. Because we have time, I am trying to get the problem sorted from the roots. She is reading every night (I'm following the book list from my thread last year) and doing KS2 comprehension books by Schofield and Sims. She now has a book where she writes down new words from the books she reads. We have a lot of work to do with English and vocab.

Does it look like we are progressing fine? Or do you recommend we get a tutor? 3 of my friends have children sitting 11+ next year. Two of them go to a prep school AND have 2 tutors each! The other child goes to a prep school and works with a tutor 2 days a week. Mine goes to a state school. Its a fantastic school but definitely not as academic as the prep schools. The preps do bond books etc in class. Sometimes it makes me feel my child is missing out by not going to a prep or tutors. I know there are many people here who successfully DIYed. if I objectively evaluate, I am pretty happy with my DDs progress but something is bothering me and I don't know what it is.
Can I ask the lovely people of this forum to share your opinions about what I should be doing next? Are we doing ok? Continue with my plans or get a tutor?

[Trakka]

I will follow this with great interest!

I am DIYing as well, only started at the end of the summer holidays. My DD and I are enjoying the time together but I am really concerned that I won't do enough for her to get her through the exams. I know so many other DCs have tutors and I get looks of surprise when I say I am DIYing. I keep trying to say to myself that I am doing the right thing, my DD has said that she doesn't want a tutor. It's finding that balance of her doing enough to get through the exams but also having a childhood and not finding the 11+ a chore!

Exam2018, it sounds like you are further ahead than we are. We haven't even started papers yet. Just familiarising my DD with the types of questions.

[11+RiponGrammar]

If I were you I would carry on with what you are doing, and use tutor money for a regular treat for hard work, until a lot nearer the time (Easter) and then put them in for some marked mocks and a familiarisation day marked if they do one local to you.

They can burn out and as long as you are practising all types of questions and then practising speed, so that they answer every question in the allotted time, then they will do their best.

We started in Spring only with any practising of any kind and kids were well prepared for the exams once they came around. So did all types of questions to learn them first of all, then we practised them all again with speed, then one mock at home, two marked mocks with a local tutoring company and a familiarisation day, kids felt calm and ready for the exam and have done their best, waiting for results now...

I felt we did our best as parents to prepare them and they did their best, so what will be, will be.

Good luck

[Daogroupie]

It sounds like you are making great progress. That is the most important thing. If things are moving forward then it is working.

Some parents want to pay someone else to own the problem for them and they don't want to get involved at all. They don't even look at the work that comes home and they can't wait to leave their student at the tutor and get away.

Those type of parents want tutors as they don't want to be in the process. They don't even check to see if the tutor has actually ever got a student into their first choice school. They just choose the tutor because another parent told them they were good. They do not do their own homework on the tutor.

I think you will do well as you are and it will be very interesting to see the outcome especially compared to the preps with two tutors! DG

[Sparkle16]

You are on the right path , since you have a good working relationship with your DC (making progress) and comfortable with the 11+ topics, I will recommend you continue with that and later register her for some mocks to familiarise with the exam vibe as well as see her progress within a cohort... I'm in same situ as you with my DC2 now! DC1 sat 11+(3 exams) last year, passed all and is now in a super selective grammar. IME, I will attribute the exams success to the three fold of; my willing child(ready to learn), my self(taught him the maths/VR/NVR using recommended books by friends/forum members) and our English tutor(comprehension, creative writing etal).
Like DG wrote,

Some parents want to pay someone else to own the problem for them and they don't want to get involved at all. They don't even look at the work that comes home and they can't wait to leave their student at the tutor and get away. Those type of parents want tutors as they don't want to be in the process. They don't even check to see if the tutor has actually ever got a student into their first choice school. They just choose the tutor because another parent told them they were good. They do not do their own homework on the tutor.

- I totally agree to this, I did take DC1 for maths tuition but on checking his books, I realised that the tutor was just photocopying from various textbooks and giving to child to practice every week , that's when I decided that I can do this and more... I'm a bit confident that with experience from previous year, my DC2 happy to have a go at the 11+ and vast amount of knowledge gained from this forum, we can do this together. I would have loved to use the same English tutor but we've moved and no longer near her, hence why I'm DIY'ing and keeping fingers crossed!

[Exams2018]

Thanks for the reassurance everyone !

@Sparkle16 - Please can you PM me the details of your English tutor? This is one area I really struggle.

[Tinkers]

I DIYed successfully. DD was always going to work better with me than a tutor, because that's what she is like.

DG is right about some parents handing over complete responsibility to a tutor and never even checking what they are covering or what progress their DC makes. Even if you have a tutor you need to know that they know what they are doing.

A number of people said to me at the time "you'll need a tutor to get a place" or said asked since "so which tutor did you use? CAn we have their details." (That's been followed a couple of times, by almost complete strangers, why you tutor my DD? No I won't.)

Parents get tutor because the perceived wisdom is that everyone else does so it must be necessary. For some parents it is, they don't have the ability (English as a second lanaguage perhaps) the time or the right sort of relationship to DIY. And that's fine too. However most parents could if they were prepared to have a go.

[Golden75]

Sounds like DIY tutoring works really well for you, I wish my experiences had been as positive. I'm a bit embarrassed to admit this, but I found some of the 11+ maths work beyond me. It's been a long time since I've had to calculate probability or ratios, not to mention remembering names of 3d and 2d shapes or algebra! At times it felt like my DD was teaching me . (I hope I am not the only parent who finds some of the 11+ maths work quite tricky?) Needless to say, we just weren't making any progress in maths at all- quite the opposite actually, I think my DD was losing confidence.

After 6 months of trying to DYI tutor, I threw in the towel and got her a tutor. One of the better decisions I have ever made. She started to make rapid progress and responded really well to the tutors style of teaching. We still did lots of work together at home as well and I stayed very involved, but it was a relief to have a tutor's support.

If a parent can confidently teach the 11+ material, then I don't think there is anything that a parent can't do that a tutor can.

[Trakka]

Exams2018, I don't know which part of English you are worried about but if it is the writing have you tried the AE Tuition Creative Writing workbooks? I am using these with my DD and I think the exercises are quite good.

Also I have just purchased the First past the post "Vocabulary in Context" which I like the look of - I am about to try it out with DD this weekend! Rather than just memorising lots of words it helps students infer the meaning.

[MCLC]

Sounds like DIY tutoring works really well for you, I wish my experiences had been as positive. I'm a bit embarrassed to admit this, but I found some of the 11+ maths work beyond me. It's been a long time since I've had to calculate probability or ratios, not to mention remembering names of 3d and 2d shapes or algebra! At times it felt like my DD was teaching me . (I hope I am not the only parent who finds some of the 11+ maths work quite tricky?) Needless to say, we just weren't making any progress in maths at all- quite the opposite actually, I think my DD was losing confidence.

After 6 months of trying to DYI tutor, I threw in the towel and got her a tutor. One of the better decisions I have ever made. She started to make rapid progress and responded really well to the tutors style of teaching. We still did lots of work together at home as well and I stayed very involved, but it was a relief to have a tutor's support.

If a parent can confidently teach the 11+ material, then I don't think there is anything that a parent can't do that a tutor can.

This is me with the Maths! I try but my DD often has to unravel me. We didn't have the money for a tutor so DD had to watch a lot of youtube video's .