Are we OK with DIY or should I get a tutor?

[neuralc]

I'll hijack the thread with the same question.
Context is : DS is currently top of class on most subjects and gifted list, and writes stories with incredible creativity and language (I thought I was good at his age, but I think even my ego has to admit he is way ahead )

Now thing is, while my wife and I have largely the skills needed to coach him, he almost feel like a pre-teen and resent anything we try to suggest him. He actually embrace anything a teacher gives him and relish the learning, but when it's from us, you can feel the anger simmering.

Hence, even though it is against my ethos (and would be a waste of money), I am feeling more and more inclined to go the tutor route, maybe once a week for a year.
Did anyone deal with similar kid profile and managed to home coach them? Even computerised solutions (like IXL or Sumdog) no longer appeal to him if we suggest it, so not sure how to encourage him to do anything without involving a third party.

That's actually a wider problem, he enjoys many diverse things, as long as it's been recommended by a third party. Anything from mom/dad/brother is deemed uninteresting (until someone else recommends it). Feels like having a teen at 9

I faced this exact situation last year. Tween with attitude. And it was tough at times. Because the 11+ is boring.

But, I decided to sit with them for hours at the weekend and deal with the highs and lows rather than outsource. We did it together. For better or worse.

My advice to you if you go down the DIY route is to work out how best to continually motivate your child - and this will change during the course of the year.

[Godfather]

Maybe mix and match we had girl in our class that did mostly diy and came in to my child's tuition class only to do the mock tests,she passed with flying colors

[StowMum]

Hi

I started working with my DS at home in year 4 once a week (primarily going over the core maths and English skills) which was difficult but we managed. My DH and I also took him to the GS open days in year 4 to motivate him. However when it came to year 5 we have decided to get a tutor as he feels he is more motivated and will do the work if asked by a tutor. This is working well for us as the tutor we went with goes over the main principles in the centre and we then do the work at home. This has provided structure to the 11+ work which I am very grateful for and my DS likes the social aspect of the centre (6 DC in the group). You have to choose your tutor carefully, my DS loves his tutor who is very funny and encouraging. We will also sit the mock exams early next year to have an understanding of where he is. Maths is his strong subject but he is making silly mistakes (a bit over confident) and English is where we need to make progress. Have started reading some classics (Wind in the Willows etc) and his state school has a strong focus on creative writing and comprehension.

I would definitely like to thank all the forum members for their comments/suggestions as I have been stalking here since the beginning of Y4 and have used many of the suggestions to move forward with this process.

I have also learnt from this forum that you have to know your DC's personality and work with it to get the best out of them therefore there are no right or wrongs when it comes to DIYing or getting a tutor (it will depend on your circumstances and your DC).

[Tortuga]

3 of my friends have children sitting 11+ next year. Two of them go to a prep school AND have 2 tutors each! The other child goes to a prep school and works with a tutor 2 days a week. Mine goes to a state school. Its a fantastic school but definitely not as academic as the prep schools. The preps do bond books etc in class. Sometimes it makes me feel my child is missing out by not going to a prep or tutors. I know there are many people here who successfully DIYed. if I objectively evaluate, I am pretty happy with my DDs progress but something is bothering me and I don't know what it is. Can I ask the lovely people of this forum to share your opinions about what I should be doing next? Are we doing ok? Continue with my plans or get a tutor?

Hi, My DD and I both fell into the trap, at one stage in year 5, of thinking that 11+ success was a race to see who could do the most work. It isn't. Also if you know your daughter's strengths and weaknesses well and you are a good team working together (which you do and are) then I think that is as good as 2 tutors and a prep school!
Tortuga

[bellabelly]

My twins were a bit reluctant to knuckle down and do 11+ practice with me (I'm a teacher so was NOT wanting to pay out for a tutor if I could DIY!) UNTIL I found a great recommendation to keep track with a very simple reward chart. It was a plain grid with 10 boxes in each row. We stuck it on the fridge. Every time they did something that was to do with preparing for the 11+, they could tick off a box. (Maybe a practice test, maybe learning vocab or playing word games.) When they reached the end of a row, they could choose a small reward. The first time, they chose a fidget spinner - the latest fad, at the time. Next time, they asked for £5. I said ok and they were SO motivated after that. I figured that I was still saving a small fortune as not paying for a private tutor and they ended up asking to do prep, instead of me having to TELL them to. Not sure if it was morally right to bribe them in this way - but it worked!