If your child does a commute of more than 45 minutes each wa

[Amber]

I'm looking forward to moving further away from London and the Home Counties, where people's ability to function isn't dependent upon their morning cup of coffee-flavoured-milk-sludge.

Yeah it's meths in the north east, obviously.

[Surferfish]

Interesting idea. I think partly there is such a SE dominance in the media that one could be forgiven for thinking either that everywhere is like London, or, indeed, as some of my in laws think, that actually there isn't anywhere beyond London. We have just managed to get some of them to stop feeling sorry for our children as they live in an area with 'nothing to do'; and when I first mentioned that I was at university in Newcastle, once they had located it on a map, there were genuine noises of pity and wonder - the former for having to endure such a poverty-stricken ordeal and the latter for having survived it without being beaten up by the parents of the feral children I was training to teach. I know people who genuinely and honestly believe that London and the area around it are populated by superior beings with better minds and manners than the rest of the country, and that anything outside London is second best. And I wonder if some of that is feeding this hysteria around schools - that one must go to a great SE school, whether private or grammar, or risk becoming like the oiks from the cultural wastelands of 'the north'.

Yes I agree that attitude probably has a lot to do with it.

Its also worth noting that the 'superior beings' who live in and around London are well aware that their own city has its fair share of 'oiks'. London is the richest area of the country but it is also the area with the highest inequality. Its in your face every day. You step around a homeless person on the pavement while a Ferrari drives past on the road. Take the Grenfell Tower disaster which was located a few minutes walk from the millionaire mansions of Kensington. The area has some of the most prestigious schools in the country, but also some of the roughest, with regular horror stories in the local news of teenage knife crime, acid attacks, drug gangs etc. Add to that the ridiculously expensive house prices which means that any young person in London needs to be on an extremely high salary before they can even think about buying a property in a decent area.

All that probably makes Londoners particularly sensitive to making sure that their DC's go to not just a good school but the best school, to give them a decent chance of ending up as one of the 'haves' rather than the 'have-nots'. And if that entails a long difficult commute, then so be it.

[ConfusedFather]

Quite a few opposite points of views here

In an ideal world, I would agree that commute (whether for children or even adults!) should be kept to a minimum.

The thing is, there is a risk/reward balance then to be had between incremental benefits of a school versus the downside of additional commute. It should be analysed not with sentimental lenses, but with an analytical mind.

Now, while I am sure there are parents who see grammar as some sort of status symbol, I do not believe they are a majority. Similarly, I do not subscribe to the opinion that a "perfectly decent school" is necessarily the best option. A perfectly decent school will still have a distinctly lower achievement in getting children to the best establishments in their fields. Also, their population being more heterogeneous means that the likelihood (not a certainty though) of bullying academic students increases, or at the very least making good grades look uncool.

[solimum]

Quite a few opposite points of views here

In an ideal world, I would agree that commute (whether for children or even adults!) should be kept to a minimum.

We are probably all trying to justify our own decisions!

[Amber]

It should be analysed not with sentimental lenses, but with an analytical mind.

Why should it? Is that how you approach other matters of interpersonal relationships? After all, that is what is at stake here. You can't write a list of pros and cons if the one con is bigger than all the pros.

[streathammum]

Quite a few opposite points of views here

In an ideal world, I would agree that commute (whether for children or even adults!) should be kept to a minimum.

The thing is, there is a risk/reward balance then to be had between incremental benefits of a school versus the downside of additional commute. It should be analysed not with sentimental lenses, but with an analytical mind.

Now, while I am sure there are parents who see grammar as some sort of status symbol, I do not believe they are a majority. Similarly, I do not subscribe to the opinion that a "perfectly decent school" is necessarily the best option. A perfectly decent school will still have a distinctly lower achievement in getting children to the best establishments in their fields. Also, their population being more heterogeneous means that the likelihood (not a certainty though) of bullying academic students increases, or at the very least making good grades look uncool.

Please don't imagine that there's no bullying in grammar schools. The ostensible cause may be different - less likely to be anti-academic, perhaps - but it still happens. Some schools are better and responding to bullying than others, but there's no reason to suppose that a particular school is better equipped to address bullying simply because it's a grammar school.

Also, you have to remember that it's not the school "getting children to the best establishments in their fields", it's the children. A school with average results might still be getting better than expected outcomes for each individual child. It's true that if you've got your eye on Oxbridge (why, though? We're talking about 10 year olds), you may prefer a sixth form that's got experience in the Oxbridge admissions processes, but that's not a good basis for insisting on a long commute for a child in Years 7-11.

[DC17C]

My children travel 45 minutes each way to school between walking to a bus stop and their bus journey. The bus journey is part of their social life now as they are traveling with other young people going to the same school. The thing is the school is only a 20 minute car drive....so if there are any issues , illness etc it is easy for a parent to collect etc.
I guess it depends on the distance of the commute and the logistics of it.

[Rosy Pippin]

Hi OP, my DD commutes to school (walk, train, walk - c 45 mins - each way). It was tiring for the first term as she adjusted from primary school (15 minute walk) and we suggested no after school clubs for that initial period. Now in Y9 and attends the full range of school clubs and plays tennis most evenings after coming home from school. I'd say that she is pretty tired by the last week of term and certainly enjoys a lie in on one of the weekend days but otherwise no issues. I have nothing to compare the tiredness to - if she attended a more local school she'd be walking about 20 - 30 minutes to get there - so for an extra 15 mins on the journey she is going to a school that she loves. I'm not sure the context of your question but I hope that this helps. Rosy. (PS She has a great time on the train with her friends - I'm really glad that I'm not on the same train!)

[Blue_Marigold]

We are lucky because where we live there are lots of schools in or very near our town. But if you live in one of the surrounding villages and pass the 11+, I am pretty sure you’d end up with a long journey to the grammar schools. Not necessarily long distance wise (as they are still in catchment) but time stuck in traffic or a bus stopping at all the stops.

I think a long journey may not feel that long if you are having fun and with your friends. Or if your parents pick you up and give you a snack in the car etc. It’s different for us because most adults commute on their own and it’s boring. Or if you are driving then you have to concentrate and it’s tiring.

[Bazelle]

Didn't read the whole thread. Son's commute is just under an hour each way. The pain has eased gradually, he is now in year 9 and is fine. It was a bit of a shock on the system to begin with, from a short walk in a leafy suburb to long tube journey to Central London. I ended up commuting with him in the mornings for most of year 7 while wondering what the **** took me to accept a place at this school. Two years down the line and we are all absolutely delighted and laughing.