Grammar schools leavers destination

[Eccentric]

Anotherdad - I think that just reflects the big differences between some of the Bucks GS.

I would agree with Guest55. My daughter always volunteers to take prospective parents and young people around for open days in a Bucks Grammar. She is never asked about career prospects just about how happy she is at the school, what the GCSE options are, what is done for brighter and less able children and apparently the most common question is what extra curricular activities are available .

[Amber]

I was asked at my first parents' evening as a Reception teacher in north London whether a particular child would go to university. Her parents wanted her to become a doctor.

Lots of schools produce lists of leavers' destinations. A more interesting list if my recent experience is anything to go by would be a list of how many are still at their initial destinations six months after the start of term - I seem to hear of more and more every week who are dropping out. Grist to my 'compulsory gap year' mill.

[ToadMum]

Universities mostly publish the industries or even specific names of companies where their students gain a job but difficult to establish what it is that grammar school pupils like to do; whether it is mainly STEM or opportunities for other off the beaten path careers..

If universities try to bask in the reflected glory of their successful students, they must also claim the unsuccessful ones. Either they influence, or they don’t. How long do you think we’ll have to wait before we can expect to see Matthew Falder’s prison abode in the Cambridge prospectus and on their destination list? That is the difficulty of leavers’ destinations lists. Just because an educational institution worked for one individual, does NOT mean it will work for yours.

According to the Times this morning, Cambridge is actually considering stripping him of his PhD.

[piggys]

Just to make it clear, I am not asking for a debate here.

It doesn't matter what you asked for, OP, you do not control the direction of the thread! It is an organic thing which develops in its own way.

There are a fair few ultra pushy parents at my dd's school who won't allow their dd's to take certain GCSE or A level subjects, and who micro manage their lives. Their entire future is mapped out for them, sadly. No music, no art, barely any humanity or language because they are considered 'inferior'. These are parents who would rather their child be miserable and unhappy and impress their neighbours. Perish the thought that their child might actually be great at something a bit more creative.

As many of you know I taught at one of the London SS for many years and met some awful parents like that. I would always make a point of asking them "what about what (dc's name) wants? at what point will they become relevant?". I found this made some parents feel very uncomfortable.

My dd tells me I'm a weird mum because I make her go to parties and go to punk gigs with her. The thought of her banging her head against a wall being forced to take subjects she doesn't like to pursue something she won't love because of parental prejudice and selfishness is abhorrent to me. Frankly, I would rather she be on the dole.

Look at the number of University students committing suicide. Look at the drop out rate. Look into your own soul and ask yourself whether your own child's well being and happiness is worth sacrificing in order to keep up with some ghastly snobbish concept of what constitutes a 'respectable career'.

[Eccentric]

Hear hear Piggy's. SO much emphasis is put upon education, physical attributes, possessions and power nowadays. We as a society seem to have forgotten about having fun, leisure, music, art, being nice kind generous people etc. I too am very concerned for our young people, they are under so much stress, they feel that they have to achieve the unachievable - perfection in every aspect of their lives.

One of my daughter's best friends has been told she will be disowned by her parents if she doesn't achieve all level 9's in her GCSE's (which is an unachievable target), the school are now aware but the pressure from her parents (according to my Dd, still continues). This girl is not allowed to participate in extra curricular activities, was forced to take computing as her creative subject because none of the others such as art were deemed of any worth.

Self harm, eating disorders , suicidal thoughts (and actual suicide), depression, and anxiety are at epidemic levels in young people.

Young people have little or no chance of owning their own homes on an average salary so they feel compelled to go in directions that are not of their wish in order to survive financially. Parents feel that they have to push this because they want their children to have a reasonable standard of living.

Bring on a Universal Income (ooh that is controversial ) Which would allow people a basic roof over their heads and to get out of bed each day so that people can start to make decisions about what they do that are not based on housing themselves. Until we as a society recognise that our system is broken in so many ways. the mental health issues will continue and parents will continue to push.

Then you have the parents who don't push and who don't care and that is a whole other thread.

[loobylou]

One of my daughter's best friends has been told she will be disowned by her parents if she doesn't achieve all level 9's in her GCSE's (which is an unachievable target), the school are now aware but the pressure from her parents (according to my Dd, still continues). This girl is not allowed to participate in extra curricular activities

This is very sad. Hopefully the school can make it clear to the parents that they are being unrealistic. Grade 9s seem to me to be as much about luck on the day as anything else. How can you guarantee being in the top 3% in all your subjects? Craziness!

[cheerio1357]

Just to make it clear, I am not asking for a debate here.

It doesn't matter what you asked for, OP, you do not control the direction of the thread! It is an organic thing which develops in its own way.

There are a fair few ultra pushy parents at my dd's school who won't allow their dd's to take certain GCSE or A level subjects, and who micro manage their lives. Their entire future is mapped out for them, sadly. No music, no art, barely any humanity or language because they are considered 'inferior'. These are parents who would rather their child be miserable and unhappy and impress their neighbours. Perish the thought that their child might actually be great at something a bit more creative.

As many of you know I taught at one of the London SS for many years and met some awful parents like that. I would always make a point of asking them "what about what (dc's name) wants? at what point will they become relevant?". I found this made some parents feel very uncomfortable.

My dd tells me I'm a weird mum because I make her go to parties and go to punk gigs with her. The thought of her banging her head against a wall being forced to take subjects she doesn't like to pursue something she won't love because of parental prejudice and selfishness is abhorrent to me. Frankly, I would rather she be on the dole.

Look at the number of University students committing suicide. Look at the drop out rate. Look into your own soul and ask yourself whether your own child's well being and happiness is worth sacrificing in order to keep up with some ghastly snobbish concept of what constitutes a 'respectable career'.

Thanks Piggys, some interesting perspectives here. I have a DC who cannot decide what they want for dinner, leave alone career. It is quite sad that the holistic approach to education has not improved over the years. I speak from experience of having seen in my time so many pushy parents who deem their child a failure if they do not become a doctor or an engineer! And just to clarify regarding the point of not wanting a debate here, I have seen threads go off-tangent due to people ending up arguing and taking sides and in essence losing the main topic of starting the thread.

[ToadMum]

It is quite sad that the holistic approach to education has not improved over the years. I speak from experience of having seen in my time so many pushy parents who deem their child a failure if they do not become a doctor or an engineer!

But that is the fault of the parents concerned, not of the education system, surely?

[cheerio1357]

It is quite sad that the holistic approach to education has not improved over the years. I speak from experience of having seen in my time so many pushy parents who deem their child a failure if they do not become a doctor or an engineer!

But that is the fault of the parents concerned, not of the education system, surely?

Hmm from my experience a bit of both actually. The education system ( and the only real indicator was job title, money earned, so essentially perceived prestige value in those days) did not help in that it did not reflect a forward looking curriculum or there were the ones in school or government leadership who knew very well the changes that need to be made but due to political scenario did not care to push for these changes. And then the pushy parents, helicopter parents all being part of this made the system mind-numbingly painful for a child who was not naturally interested in becoming either a doc or an engineer. Arts ( which I personally love), even subjects like History and Philosophy were considered second-tier. So the system and the parents both drove the insanity surrounding the choices (!) that a child could make. And then there is no need to elaborate on the domino effect this has mentally when the child grows up and becomes an adult..

[Tinkers]

One of my daughter's best friends has been told she will be disowned by her parents if she doesn't achieve all level 9's in her GCSE's (which is an unachievable target), the school are now aware but the pressure from her parents (according to my Dd, still continues). This girl is not allowed to participate in extra curricular activities

This is very sad. Hopefully the school can make it clear to the parents that they are being unrealistic. Grade 9s seem to me to be as much about luck on the day as anything else. How can you guarantee being in the top 3% in all your subjects? Craziness!

I believe there has been one ‘expert’ quoted in the press as saying they expect only a couple of students in the whole country to get all 9s. Can’t find it now obviously, but they gave a reasonably good statistical ananlysis to back up the statement.