Help! I don’t know what to do!
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Re: Help! I don’t know what to do!
That isn't really what your first comment said... strongly agree with Amber.. let the results be the reward, in that way you glover the reward you deserve..bridge wrote:Better to reward the effort rather than the result but different children respond differently. There are lots of variations on how this could be applied and it doesn't have to be explicit.
Yes some may find certain things easy at the moment and not need to work too hard, but that will catch up with them sooner or later... and they'll get their rewards (or lack of) then.. and VV. some that aren't that academic but work hard will get the results their hard work deserves ( that doesn't mean they'll all get grade 9s. It means they make their target or even beat it).
Re: Help! I don’t know what to do!
The school is the reward/result, apparantly the child is being swayed by his peers so that reward is not working. The question is how best to motivate.
ETA - In my opinion the 11 plus, a one off exam, is not the place to teach a lesson.
ETA - In my opinion the 11 plus, a one off exam, is not the place to teach a lesson.
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Re: Help! I don’t know what to do!
???bridge wrote:Perhaps focus on the exam/tuition rather than the school. That is, give him a reward (something he wants) if his marks increase. Tell him what you will give him if he passes the exam.
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Re: Help! I don’t know what to do!
I think Toadmum made a good point further up the thread. If he doesn’t qualify, would you still send him to the local upper or would you send him to a private school? If you are considering private schools then he would still be separated from his friends so failing on purpose wouldn’t achieve anything - unless you also have to sit a test for a private school.
You need to have a chat about being his own person and making his own decisions about what is right for him. Also point out that even if he did go to the same school as his friends, it’s unlikely they would be put in the same class and he may not see them that much in school anyway as a lot of schools just teach in forms for the first year or so.
The other thing is that even though they say they are planning on going to a local school, they might end up qualifying and decide to change their minds and go to the grammar. And if your child keeps his options open by doing his best, then he can go to the same school as them.
You need to have a chat about being his own person and making his own decisions about what is right for him. Also point out that even if he did go to the same school as his friends, it’s unlikely they would be put in the same class and he may not see them that much in school anyway as a lot of schools just teach in forms for the first year or so.
The other thing is that even though they say they are planning on going to a local school, they might end up qualifying and decide to change their minds and go to the grammar. And if your child keeps his options open by doing his best, then he can go to the same school as them.