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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 10:05 am 
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How do you stay sane while waiting for the results??

Luckily for me, DD refuses to tell me much about how her exams were. 11plus has ruined my mental health (I was never this anxious!) and friendships (ask me more about this!).

Looks like I will be in clinical depression when my twins do the exams. Double stress, double friendships ruined, double anxiety !


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 10:27 am 
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Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2016 9:30 pm
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I was like you before the exams but I am now remarkably calm! Those around me can't believe it.

DD's said to forget about one exam (the anxiety will come if she passes). That said, she did well enough in another test so likely to get a place though not our preferred school. Perhaps that as back up is why I'm calm. And our catchment school is ok.

I think I'm resigned to what will be will be. And I have a history of HBP so keep reminding myself of that too.

Hopefully it will be good news. Best wishes x


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 10:29 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2011 9:29 am
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Exams2018 wrote:
How do you stay sane while waiting for the results??

Luckily for me, DD refuses to tell me much about how her exams were. 11plus has ruined my mental health (I was never this anxious!) and friendships (ask me more about this!).

Looks like I will be in clinical depression when my twins do the exams. Double stress, double friendships ruined, double anxiety !


I know this is intended as a lighthearted post Exams2018, but making flippant remarks about 'clinical depression', 'ruined mental health' and similar is no laughing matter. Please consider adopting an alternative lexicon. There are people on this board who have direct experience of genuine depression and anxiety.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 10:49 am 
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I forgot to ask you about the friendships. That's why I replied initially!


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 10:54 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 23, 2017 7:31 am
Posts: 58
piggys wrote:
Exams2018 wrote:
How do you stay sane while waiting for the results??

Luckily for me, DD refuses to tell me much about how her exams were. 11plus has ruined my mental health (I was never this anxious!) and friendships (ask me more about this!).

Looks like I will be in clinical depression when my twins do the exams. Double stress, double friendships ruined, double anxiety !


I know this is intended as a lighthearted post Exams2018, but making flippant remarks about 'clinical depression', 'ruined mental health' and similar is no laughing matter. Please consider adopting an alternative lexicon. There are people on this board who have direct experience of genuine depression and anxiety.



Piggy could you please reduce your spelling and political correctness comments.
lets people freely and openly discuss about anything.
i was in the same boat with Exam2018 and waiting to read peoples reply and i feel you killed the topic.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 11:13 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 5:33 pm
Posts: 1763
If it's ruining your mental health, seek some help. I can tell you not to let it worry you and that in years to come you will look back and wonder why you were so anxious about it but it sounds like you need proper support rather than just glib words.

As for losing friendships, my attitude would be that if the 11+ was costing friendships, they were probably quite superficial friendships in the first place. How have you lost friends through it? It's a personal question but was it down to your attitude to the 11+, theirs or mutual?


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 11:32 am 
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anotherdad wrote:
If it's ruining your mental health, seek some help.


I am hoping I will calm down once all this is over in a couple of weeks. My anxiety is mainly down to the fact that we are DIY. We didn't go down the prep school/tuition route for various reasons. I don't regret it. The only downside is my anxiety.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 11:55 am 
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Exams2018 wrote:
I am hoping I will calm down once all this is over in a couple of weeks. My anxiety is mainly down to the fact that we are DIY. We didn't go down the prep school/tuition route for various reasons. I don't regret it. The only downside is my anxiety.

In all honesty, I doubt you would have been any less anxious had you paid for tuition. I have no data on it but over the years I've seen plenty of people gain a qualifying score through the DIY route. Paying for tuition doesn't guarantee qualification. Many people pay because they don't have the time/skill/patience to DIY, not because it's automatically better than a DIY approach.

The best advice I can give is that it's all a matter of perspective. At the moment, it can seem as if qualification and school destination makes or breaks your child's life chances because you're looking through the eyepiece of a telescope and all you can see is this massive 11+ thing and all that goes with it. In say ten years' time, you'll see the 11+ as a relatively small speck viewed from the other end; the perspective of whatever your child is doing, whether working, graduating from university, travelling, settling down with a partner, etc etc. Whatever he or she will be doing will be a result of lots of things of which the 11+ was just one. Honestly, it will bemuse you that you expended so much worry on it.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 11:57 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2011 9:29 am
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tomum wrote:


Piggy could you please reduce your spelling and political correctness comments.
lets people freely and openly discuss about anything.
i was in the same boat with Exam2018 and waiting to read peoples reply and i feel you killed the topic.



Errr..........what? what do you mean by 'political correctness comments' ?


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 12:03 pm 
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Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2016 7:56 am
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anotherdad wrote:
Exams2018 wrote:
I am hoping I will calm down once all this is over in a couple of weeks. My anxiety is mainly down to the fact that we are DIY. We didn't go down the prep school/tuition route for various reasons. I don't regret it. The only downside is my anxiety.

In all honesty, I doubt you would have been any less anxious had you paid for tuition. I have no data on it but over the years I've seen plenty of people gain a qualifying score through the DIY route. Paying for tuition doesn't guarantee qualification. Many people pay because they don't have the time/skill/patience to DIY, not because it's automatically better than a DIY approach.

The best advice I can give is that it's all a matter of perspective. At the moment, it can seem as if qualification and school destination makes or breaks your child's life chances because you're looking through the eyepiece of a telescope and all you can see is this massive 11+ thing and all that goes with it. In say ten years' time, you'll see the 11+ as a relatively small speck viewed from the other end; the perspective of whatever your child is doing, whether working, graduating from university, travelling, settling down with a partner, etc etc. Whatever he or she will be doing will be a result of lots of things of which the 11+ was just one. Honestly, it will bemuse you that you expended so much worry on it.


Thank you - I really needed this today.


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