Too stressful with work, homework help and housework?

[AML]

Haemochromoastosis! Let's get a grip. It would be low on the list of differentials, unless the history and examination dictated otherwise.

More importantly you say you are feeling increasingly frustrated and tired, what kind of atmosphere is this creating at home? It may be this aspect that you need to chat with your GP about. This is going to have a great impact on your child's learning. Money might be better spent on getting some home help.

Don't forget a loving childhood and fun memories are going to give your child self esteem, confidence, enthusiasm; lifelong tools for learning. Eleven plus is a part of your life but in this situation it sadly seems like it's everything...

[Tinkers]

Haemochromoastosis! Let's get a grip. It would be low on the list of differentials, unless the history and examination dictated otherwise.

Off topic a little, but then in lies the problem. It’s so low down on the list that many with it don’t get diagnosed for years (and incur all sorts of problems as a result). The person I know with it has a GP who had never even heard of it and it only diagnosed during a visit to a consultant about the liver damage it had already caused.

As it is, it was just a passing comment on this thread seeing as there’s been a lot of publicity in the last couple of days about how under diagnosed it is. The OP mentioned fatigue, many things may cause it.

[yoyo123]

When my two were going through 11+ I was teaching, so it was pick thrm up,from childminder, talk about their day, cook tea, bung some washing in while Mr Yoyo ironed and helped them with homework or just talked. Then, once we had got them to bed,
I sat down to prepare next day’s lessons. Looking back, we must both have been knackered, but as others have pointed out, that is part and parcel of being a parent!


I suppose what everybody is trying to say is relax! Does it really matter if your house isn’t pristine? Do you really need to be doing extra work on top of what the school and the tutor are doing?


And, as for whether or not you can skew your child’s chances of Oxbridge by going for a foreign language ‘advantage’!!

Live for the moment and enjoy the time you have with your young child. Stop trying to live for the next stage.

[loobylou]

I agree that you're doing too much.
We had a tutor one hour a week which meant one hour of homework a week - and I only got involved if she was stuck. So her 11+ preparation barely involved me (especially as she could walk alone to the tutor's house!)
Oh and haemochromatosis is not common but neither is it very rare - and is super easy to diagnose. It would be very hard to miss if someone was having the normal "tired all the time" blood tests!

[Proudmumregardless]

Can working parents help their child pass 11 plus exam and do housework as well?

My husband and I are working parents who work from 9 to 5. There are no grandparents or relatives who help with our housework. So every day, we go home, prepare meals and help our child with his 11 plus preparation. The child also goes to a tutor each Saturday.

Although it will be another year before our child sits for the exam, we already feel so exhausted and sometimes frustrated. I feel that there are too many exercises and tests that my child has to do each week, that even I feel tired when helping him.

During the last two years before the 11 Plus exam, do you need help with your housework? Or most people still do everything and yet, your children did pass the exam?
Thank you for your advice.

You were lucky, I brought my kids up in a cardboard box in t'middle o't road and still expected them to pass


Seriously if you're doing THAT much work your child won't pass let alone thrive at a grammar school. Ditch it as a pipe dream.

[suxeprotolondonlo]

Thank you for all your kind, helpful advice. Even though some statements are a bit sarcastic, I don't feel offended at all but appreciate your replies.

One of the reasons why I feel so stressful because most of my friends' children are in either grammar schools or independent schools. Behind all the success and smiles, I know some of them were very pushy and stressful until their children passed the exams.

So now when I wait for my child's exam, I feel very pressured.

And honestly, I don't really feel relaxed regarding all the statements about 'enjoying your time, enjoying your childhood'. Not until your child passes their exams anyway.

[sportsforall]

So now when I wait for my child's exam, I feel very pressured.

And honestly, I don't really feel relaxed regarding all the statements about 'enjoying your time, enjoying your childhood'. Not until your child passes their exams anyway.

Overall this has to be about balance, there is plenty of information about child / teenage mental health and on the whole this is about perspective, variety, some pressure, some relaxation. There is a chance that your child may not pass their exam, may not get a place at Grammar school but fortunately this forum has many examples of children who didn't take that path and were still happy and successful. Don't risk ruining your relationship with your child, your partner and yourself all for societal pressures. It simply won't be worth it.

The tidiness / cleanliness of your house is your own issue and assuming your aren't putting your health at risk not worth worrying about.

[loobylou]

So now when I wait for my child's exam, I feel very pressured.

And honestly, I don't really feel relaxed regarding all the statements about 'enjoying your time, enjoying your childhood'. Not until your child passes their exams anyway.

Overall this has to be about balance, there is plenty of information about child / teenage mental health and on the whole this is about perspective, variety, some pressure, some relaxation. There is a chance that your child may not pass their exam, may not get a place at Grammar school but fortunately this forum has many examples of children who didn't take that path and were still happy and successful. Don't risk ruining your relationship with your child, your partner and yourself all for societal pressures. It simply won't be worth it.

The tidiness / cleanliness of your house is your own issue and assuming your aren't putting your health at risk not worth worrying about.

I cannot agree with this enough.
I need to be careful here because I don't know if this person is on the forum but I met up with someone recently, for whom getting her children into "top" schools at 11 was hugely important - and she "succeeded" in that all of them are in schools that people seem desperate for on this forum.
One of her children is having real problems - and their relationship is in tatters - because of the pressure to perform that that child felt and still feels.
The expectation is that that child will leave education with significantly fewer qualifications than they are capable of because they have just stopped working and are now at an age where parental pressure doesn't work any more.
It would be disingenuous of me to say that I don't think school is important - I'm on this forum after all and I really wanted my children to go to a particular school - but there are other things that are way more important and a fun childhood, the ability and time to relax, and good family relationships are definitely more important than the school they end up in.

[Jagger]

Sorry if I’m replying late to this old post. But I so relate to it.

I feel so guilty that my dd got a score of 109.15 for Woodford county and now don’t know if she realistically will be in with a chance or not... I have a busy life too- I work full time and have another child to take care of. It’s so hard and tiring as I spent my time on my other one (who has had his fair share of health problems) and maybe didn’t so much with my 11+ er - maybe if I had she would have got a higher score. We spent so much effort on her with tuition and revision. I have not said I’m disappointed with her result as I’m actually so very proud of her for sitting it and passing it. I just wish I spent more time with helping her . Now it’s a waiting game but still unsure whether to add Woodford county as my first choice?

[ToadMum]

Now it’s a waiting game but still unsure whether to add Woodford county as my first choice?

If it's genuinely your / her first preference, then put it first on your CAF. You either get a place on March 2nd, or you don't; if you don't, your DD goes on the waiting list and your right to appeal is triggered by the fact that your DD wasn't offered a place. Whether or not you can be offered your first preference in no way affects whether or not your second preference can be offered.

Please read the advice given on this subject on the WCHS website. It really is an excellent explanation of how the process works.