Rewards for doing the 11plus tutoring

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Allyfe
Posts: 94
Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2017 8:18 pm

Re: Rewards for doing the 11plus tutoring

Post by Allyfe »

If your child is reward driven then, firstly, I totally agree with others, do not offer a big reward for passing. That is a terrible pressure. But rather than offering a 'reward for hard work once the exams have been sat, you might want to think about smaller rewards for hard work as you go along. The problem with a big reward at the end is that you can't really take it away, which reduces the impact as a motivator.

My daughter is an avid reader and so I use books as a motivator. If she works hard, she gets a book she really wants. If she isn't focused or really applying herself she doesn't get the book.

One other thing I want to throw out there is the potential pressure of working hard. I have realised that a rigid homework schedule (by which I don't mean loads of hours, just fixed requirements on certain days) takes the responsibility off my daughter for working hard. It occurred to me that she was starting to feel worried that others were working harder (some are doing many many hours a week), and I didn't want her to feel that it is her fault for not working hard if she doesn't get in. Even if that is what happens, at 11 that is way too much responsibility. So, she does a certain amount on certain days (with some exceptional circumstances). If she does the work with good concentration for a couple of weeks, she gets a book. If it is half-hearted, no book. I hope it will help! But only Year 5 too....
lapindebois
Posts: 69
Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: Rewards for doing the 11plus tutoring

Post by lapindebois »

Personally, I'm not sure that rewards for either effort or results are a good idea. Ultimately, children need to learn that they're working hard for their own good, not anyone else's - they're not trying to get into a GS or independent school to please their parents, but because it will give them a good education and good future prospects (and if that's not the reason you're doing it, then what is?). If you reward for 11+, do you also reward for GCSEs and A levels and degrees? If children are going to go to academically selective secondaries then they're going to need to be self-motivated. That doesn't mean you can't do nice things for your child; we went out for a meal the evening of the 11+, but that wasn't promised in advance as an incentive - it was just a nice surprise when he got home.
kenyancowgirl
Posts: 6738
Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:59 pm

Re: Rewards for doing the 11plus tutoring

Post by kenyancowgirl »

:shock: :shock: Who said anything about promising it in advance? We took our boys out for a meal on the day of their 11+ - that was a reward for effort - exactly as you taking them out for a meal was a reward. I also nipped away with DS1 when his GCSE exams were finished, for a short mother/son break - he didn't know, it was a surprise - and that rewarded the effort not the result. Most parents will try and mark the next big step in some way - graduation from uni - don't most parents go up and watch and then go out for a meal? That is a reward for result - it is all a reward system, whatever way you want to dress it up as not being...
lapindebois
Posts: 69
Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: Rewards for doing the 11plus tutoring

Post by lapindebois »

Sure, but there are rewards and rewards, surely? Someone I know pays her child cash for every practice 11+ session they do at home. So for effort not results - but still v different from a surprise celebration meal I would say. I don't think all reward systems are the same.
kenyancowgirl
Posts: 6738
Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:59 pm

Re: Rewards for doing the 11plus tutoring

Post by kenyancowgirl »

Which is a slightly different stance than:

Personally, I'm not sure that rewards for either effort or results are a good idea....

And going on to say that chldren should be self motivated about education for their own good, and then describing the reward you gave your child...!!

I agree with you that reward systems differ - I prefer to reward effort as it shows the child they are loved whatever the result, as long as they have tried their best - I do not agree with big money ticket items - especially not at 11, as the bigger the exam, the bigger the expected reward.
lapindebois
Posts: 69
Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: Rewards for doing the 11plus tutoring

Post by lapindebois »

You're right, I expressed myself badly in the first place, sorry. What I'm trying to say is that for me there's a difference between offering a reward in advance which becomes the motivation to study - eg if you work really hard we'll buy you a PS4 - and giving a small 'surprise' reward at the end which is just a recognition of the hard work and a celebration that the exam's finished, but isn't used as a motivation to work. The original poster seemed to be talking about the former rather than the latter, hence my reply (sorry if that's not what you meant OP).
kenyancowgirl
Posts: 6738
Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:59 pm

Re: Rewards for doing the 11plus tutoring

Post by kenyancowgirl »

Completely agree with the way you have just expressed!!
BucksBornNBred
Posts: 1031
Joined: Thu Aug 13, 2015 4:01 pm

Re: Rewards for doing the 11plus tutoring

Post by BucksBornNBred »

Allyfe wrote:My daughter is an avid reader and so I use books as a motivator. If she works hard, she gets a book she really wants. If she isn't focused or really applying herself she doesn't get the book..
I find that strange, Allyfe... whenever DS has asked for a book it has always been bought/borrowed. I would never link pleasure in reading to a reward but maybe that is because DS isn't an avid reader so I don't have to splash out too often!
Deb70
Posts: 340
Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2018 5:00 pm

Re: Rewards for doing the 11plus tutoring

Post by Deb70 »

I have to say, I don't believe some of these posts. A pencil sharpener? Really? :lol:
Blue_Marigold
Posts: 359
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2016 4:49 pm

Re: Rewards for doing the 11plus tutoring

Post by Blue_Marigold »

Deb70 wrote:I have to say, I don't believe some of these posts. A pencil sharpener? Really? :lol:
It might sound strange to us but these are 10 year olds and what makes them happy isn’t necessarily what would make us happy.

Recently we were sent an email from the school to say my DD had some acheivement points and we said that we would buy her something as a reward. We were thinking of taking her to the cinema but she was adamant she just wanted a key ring!
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