DD has managed to get a place in the superselective GS. It is a long journey (15 minute walk, 20 minute train then either 20 minute walk or 5-10 minute bus), the girls are quite widely spread geographically but it's an amazing opportunity. She also has a place at a good selective independent. It is a 2 minute walk, 15 minute bus and then 5 minute walk. The girls there are likely to be more local. The two schools have equivalent results and university destinations. DD is coming from a state primary. We are confused about what to do next. She is also confused. If she was adamant about one or the other we would go with that, she put in a lot of effort with the 11+. Do any of you have experience of both sectors who can make points that we may not have thought of?

From what you’ve said, if money isn’t a factor, I’d go for the more local one. If money is a factor at all then it’s a different matter.

We had a similar dilemma but the private option was more distant and the SS Grammar whilst close to us, meant girls from a distance. It turns out that DD has made friends at the Grammar who are miles away but the common factor is the school location and they have all become adept at using public transport to get about. The private option for us was going to be a financial struggle but we left it up to DD to choose and she chose the grammar. DD didn’t know about the cost, it was where she felt most comfortable and so I would ask where does your DD feel like she could be happiest?

We also knew that the decision was only about the next five years, not seven. The independent that we liked did the IB and DD is thinking this as a possibility for sixth form but now she has been at her current school she is quite loyal to it which makes the decision harder.

Good luck to your DD and their decisions.

Local school, local friends.

If a good school is on offer grab it with both hands.

Having local friends to travel with and to meet up with at the weekend is priceless. DG

Often yes but not always. In DD’s situation her grammar is the closest secondary school geographically to our home but she just so happens to have made friends with girls many miles away, as the school catchment is 9 miles some girls are 15 miles apart either side of the school. All they independent senior schools near us have pupils coming a long way so Hopeful2019 I would question if the independent you are looking at does really have a local make up of pupils, do you know this as a fact or is it an assumption?

I would echo PF on the "local friends" thing - all the independents near us have a much wider actual "pull in" area than the GS's which have a set catchment area. Ultimately, most private schools dont have a set catchment - they might say "we don't advise travelling more than 45 minutes" but they will not tiurn down someone travelling for over an hour if they have a space and the applicant can pay the fees - it miht feel like the girls are more local but are they?

But, it is true being nearer the school (if it is genuniely equal in all other ways, except for the small matter of fees), is generally better for everyone. If fees would be a stretch if anything changed in your lives over the next 5-7 years (eg job change, redundancy, other children coming through etc) then think twice - whilst independent schools will attempt to ride out to the end of an academic year any changes (ie by a temporary bursary etc) they are not often minded to continue beyond that as they are businesses first and foremost.

I think there is no substitute for an easy commute, assuming all else is equal. Local friends probably depend which part of the country you are in, where we will it is the grammars that kids do crazy journeys to, not the indies, but s PF and KCG say this may be completely different where you are. It might be more helpful just to consider it school by school, as there are anomalies in both sectors and any generalisations made here about either sector may well not apply to these two specific schools. Good luck.

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mad?

Thank you so much for your replies, it has given me food for thought. I hesitated to put the names of the schools in my original post but perhaps I should have. We are looking at Tiffin Girls and Wimbledon High. Does that make any difference to anything?

Totally agree.

Not just friends but we've got to know DS friends' families too. We often meet up as families as lots live locally. Many at my DS's independent are local boys. It also means we can participate in school life, as the school is so close we try to go as many of the sporting fixtures, often on weekends, and social functions.

Harder if DS was to live far.

I have a slightly different view. The grammar that you describe does not seem to be a bad journey, given that presumably many of them will be doing the 20 minute walk at the end together. A 15 minute walk to the station, then a 20 minute train journey seems ok to me (coming from London where many of my friends' children at local comprehensives have a similar journey, simply because of the traffic). But I can't imagine being in a position where the cost of the indie wouldn't have a very negative effect on my family and lifestyle - if it wouldn't impact much then I can see that the slightly shorter journey time (1/2 hour compared to 1 hour) could be beneficial.
In terms of local friends, I agree that it's handy to have local friends but beware of local friends with poor public transport. Of my dd's friends, one is 6 miles away and a very simple bus journey. One is 7 miles away, 22 minutes in the car, but 1 hr 20 minutes by public transport. Another is less than 3 miles away, 7 minutes in the car or 1 hour walk (on roads with no street lighting or pavements! ) - but almost 2 hours by public transport! My dd is very independent and mostly travels alone to see her friends but I'd rather she was visiting the ones further away!