Tell me that we don't need to shy away from all-boys school

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Rolanda
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Joined: Fri Oct 23, 2020 11:05 pm

Tell me that we don't need to shy away from all-boys school

Post by Rolanda »

I grew up in a country where all schools are mixed. So I found the concept of fencing up all boys for years without any interaction with the opposite side is ... awkward and unnatural.

I'm aware there're pros and cons for either co-ed or single-sex. But putting aside the ultimate grade/goal chasing for the top uni, wouldn't it be a little disadvantage for boys to not learn to interact with girls. Or I'm worrying too much as they are young and wouldn't miss out much?

DH said those he met graduated from all-boys schools were mostly overly competitive and rather blunt when interacting with females.

Please can someone tell me that we don't need to shy away from this environment in reality? Would be much appreciated, as most of the decent schools are all-boys!
KS10
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Joined: Sun Mar 07, 2010 12:39 am

Re: Tell me that we don't need to shy away from all-boys sch

Post by KS10 »

We preferred coed for ours but would have chosen single sex for DS had there been no other option. I know plenty who have done the opposite and their children are just fine.
solimum
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Location: Solihull, West Midlands

Re: Tell me that we don't need to shy away from all-boys sch

Post by solimum »

DS2 joined a boys grammar for 6th form after having been at a mixed comprehensive. (One of his good female friends joined the adjacent girls grammar) . Sixth formers had more mixed activities across the two schools, including a shared A level music group, and DS found his (to him) entirely natural friendships with girls gave him distinct kudos among some of the boys-only cohort he'd joined.
Deb70
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Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2018 5:00 pm

Re: Tell me that we don't need to shy away from all-boys sch

Post by Deb70 »

I've had sons at both mixed and all-boys schools. I prefer the all-boys, and I know from my own time at school and when I was teaching that there are far fewer distractions when it's all girls/all boys. These schools often do have a girls /boys school close by and they share some things like drama, D of E, sixth form lessons, bus travel so they do have friends who are girls!
kenyancowgirl
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Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:59 pm

Re: Tell me that we don't need to shy away from all-boys sch

Post by kenyancowgirl »

Both my boys went to/are at an all boys grammar - albeit girls in the 6th form (although it’s 2/3rds male).

I have not noticed that they are awkward around girls or don’t mix with them. Teenagers are a resourceful lot, and even in Covid times, are able to gravitate towards each other!

There are however lots of benefits of single sex - certainly competition is one of them, but in the absence of girls, this tends to be more good natured ribbing/banter, the latest being passing driving tests!
Guest55
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Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:21 pm

Re: Tell me that we don't need to shy away from all-boys sch

Post by Guest55 »

As a teacher I would recommend mixed schools - bullying is far rarer.

In a mixed school, students do not distract each other - I have worked in a single -gender school but would never do it again.
Sorrel
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Joined: Wed Oct 11, 2017 8:56 am

Re: Tell me that we don't need to shy away from all-boys sch

Post by Sorrel »

Depends on the school perhaps. My two are at an all-boys grammar which has a very warm friendly atmosphere and no bullying that I've heard of. They are single sex all through but close links with the local girls grammar and share some subjects in Sixth Form.
Tinkers
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Location: Reading

Re: Tell me that we don't need to shy away from all-boys sch

Post by Tinkers »

Sorrel wrote:Depends on the school perhaps. My two are at an all-boys grammar which has a very warm friendly atmosphere and no bullying that I've heard of. They are single sex all through but close links with the local girls grammar and share some subjects in Sixth Form.
Yes definitely depends on the school and the child. Local parents often complain about the bullying at one of our local comps and but not about either of the two local single sex comps (I know numerous parents of girls at the girls comp who are extremely happy there, one of which was suffering from bullying elsewhere).

I was apprehensive about sending my DD to a girls’ GS, but that’s was what she wanted (had had enough of boys at primary). She was very happy there and it was absolutely the school for her. Whilst there were a few isolated instances of bullying, as there are at every school (any school that says they don’t have any bullying is lying), it was always dealt with once the school knew. If I had another DD I would quite happily have sent them there too, if that was what they wanted.

Having met boys from both the boys’ GS and the boys comp (I was a STEM ambassador for several years and and to events at numerous schools), if I had a son I would happily have sent them to one, but not the other.

Unless you and your DC have particularly strong feelings either way about mixed or single sex schools, go with the school that feels right in other respects. Every school and every child is different.
doodles
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Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:19 pm

Re: Tell me that we don't need to shy away from all-boys sch

Post by doodles »

Both of my sons were educated in all boys schools from Reception all the way through to yr 13, their GS did work closely with the girls GS across the road in 6th form. They have both turned out ok!

For them it was the right choice but I would agree with those that have said it depends on the child and the school. Your son will be fine if it is the right school for him, don't shy away from a school that you think is the right one just because it isn't co-ed. There are plenty of opportunities for them to have a healthy mix of friends.
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad !
Guest55
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Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:21 pm

Re: Tell me that we don't need to shy away from all-boys sch

Post by Guest55 »

I think it can seem OK to a parent but a teacher will see the best and worst of a school.

I'm sure that the vast majority of the parents at the single-gender school I taught at had absolutely no idea of the issues.
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