we have already done the preference form.
she put a very good state school as first choice.
her grammar school choice was 4th!
Oh well, too late now. So even if she passes, if she meets the criteria for the grammar school she will possibly be offered the comp before the grammar!
oh i hate all this, I really feel like giving up
No, it's not too late, you can change it for several months yet - the final date will be published on the LEA website. But if you have a very good school as your first choice, and you believe you fulfil the entry criteria for admission to it, eg distance from the school, etc, do you need to change it? You will still have the grammar school as back up if she passes the 11+. A good comp is like gold dust, and most people in Birmingham don't have access to one which is why there is this mad rush for the grammar schools. You might want to look again at choices 2 and 3, but I can't see a problem with putting a good comp above the grammar school if this is what your daughter wants, especially if it is near your home.