advice needed for disillusioned son..
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advice needed for disillusioned son..
Hi,
My son has just sat the KEG 11+ (3 weeks ago) and we had planned for him to take another for a private school offering scholarships/heavily assisted places for bright kids.(King Edwards High School) His tutor thinks he has a good chance of getting in and I have to say it was a fab, if not somewhat 'grand' , school. Now my son says he doesn't want to take the test as even if he got in, he thinks the other kids would look down on him cos he was in 'on assistance', or because he might have a crease in his blazer!I suspect it's alot to do with the fact his best friends aren't applying and he has also had enough of practise!strange, that..
To be honest, after the adrenalin rush of the exam just gone, I'm 'done in' and almost inclined to agree with him...but there is a part of me that thinks we could regret it later on. Any opinions welcomed!
My son has just sat the KEG 11+ (3 weeks ago) and we had planned for him to take another for a private school offering scholarships/heavily assisted places for bright kids.(King Edwards High School) His tutor thinks he has a good chance of getting in and I have to say it was a fab, if not somewhat 'grand' , school. Now my son says he doesn't want to take the test as even if he got in, he thinks the other kids would look down on him cos he was in 'on assistance', or because he might have a crease in his blazer!I suspect it's alot to do with the fact his best friends aren't applying and he has also had enough of practise!strange, that..
To be honest, after the adrenalin rush of the exam just gone, I'm 'done in' and almost inclined to agree with him...but there is a part of me that thinks we could regret it later on. Any opinions welcomed!
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KES Parent
Re: advice needed for disillusioned son..
KES isn't much different to the KE grammar schools, to be honest, and is vastly different from a traditional public school where a child from a state school might possibly feel a bit uncomfortable until he got used to the different life. There are obviously some very wealthy boys at KES, but there are at the grammar schools too (and they have even more spare cash, not having to pay any fees). I think around half the boys at KES (not KEHS, by the way, as that is the girls' school!) come from state primary schools, so he wouldn't be socially out of place if that is where he has been. There are many children at the grammar schools who have come from private prep schools. It sounds as though your son is just a bit fed up with doing tests, and who can blame him, but that is life for kids in most parts of Birmingham unfortunately. It would be a good idea for him to take the test, as it is very different from the KEGS 11+ and a lot of children would find it less daunting.ews147 wrote:Hi,
My son has just sat the KEG 11+ (3 weeks ago) and we had planned for him to take another for a private school offering scholarships/heavily assisted places for bright kids.(King Edwards High School) His tutor thinks he has a good chance of getting in and I have to say it was a fab, if not somewhat 'grand' , school. Now my son says he doesn't want to take the test as even if he got in, he thinks the other kids would look down on him cos he was in 'on assistance', or because he might have a crease in his blazer!I suspect it's alot to do with the fact his best friends aren't applying and he has also had enough of practise!strange, that..
To be honest, after the adrenalin rush of the exam just gone, I'm 'done in' and almost inclined to agree with him...but there is a part of me that thinks we could regret it later on. Any opinions welcomed!
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fm
It is quite normal for children to take a dip and be completely disinterested after the KEGS exam so perhaps you may have to do some nagging. You will regret it, however, if your child has not achieved a place at the state KE. The trouble is fairly bright children often do feel they have achieved a place after the November exam and, by and large, they are quite right about this.
Your tutor has probably already told you this but, just in case he/she hasn't, it appears the bursary is not just dependent on passing but passing well. One of my last year pupils (who eventually went to Camp Hill) was eligible for a bursary due to parental income but did not pass well enough to have it offered.
From my daughter's state school it was quite a mix of boys that went to KES: two were from well-off backgrounds (but had parents who were very discreet about it and, after all, had chosen a state primary when they could have easily gone straight into the private sector), one was from very average middle class but was only child, and the final one was the class bad boy with some fairly rough and ready ways.
I honestly believe that family circumstances and who can afford what matters much more to the girls than the boys.
Your tutor has probably already told you this but, just in case he/she hasn't, it appears the bursary is not just dependent on passing but passing well. One of my last year pupils (who eventually went to Camp Hill) was eligible for a bursary due to parental income but did not pass well enough to have it offered.
From my daughter's state school it was quite a mix of boys that went to KES: two were from well-off backgrounds (but had parents who were very discreet about it and, after all, had chosen a state primary when they could have easily gone straight into the private sector), one was from very average middle class but was only child, and the final one was the class bad boy with some fairly rough and ready ways.
I honestly believe that family circumstances and who can afford what matters much more to the girls than the boys.
I agree; pay over your 25 quid, give him a break for a few weeks and go for it, he may feel differently by January anyway.
A huge percentage of the boys are on assisted places - 25%. The chief master is at pains to point out that he was there on a free place himself (if only they still did those!) so I would doubt that any stigma is allowed to attach.
We're in EXACTLY the same boat (except we won't qualify for an assisted place so it's dependent on him getting a huge scholarship, which I'm deeply pessimistic about). Son is bored stiff now he hasn't got practice papers to do and has been pretty foul all round since 8th Nov, I'm really not looking forward to trying to get him back in the groove - not least because we clash horribly over tests and homework (inability to work with your children rarely gets a mention as a reason for tutoring
).
Mike
A huge percentage of the boys are on assisted places - 25%. The chief master is at pains to point out that he was there on a free place himself (if only they still did those!) so I would doubt that any stigma is allowed to attach.
We're in EXACTLY the same boat (except we won't qualify for an assisted place so it's dependent on him getting a huge scholarship, which I'm deeply pessimistic about). Son is bored stiff now he hasn't got practice papers to do and has been pretty foul all round since 8th Nov, I'm really not looking forward to trying to get him back in the groove - not least because we clash horribly over tests and homework (inability to work with your children rarely gets a mention as a reason for tutoring
).Mike
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KES Parent
I think more or less everyone was on a free place in his day! My husband went to a similar school only with a prep department, and when he passed the 11+ and entered the senior school the fees just disappeared. There were just a few poor souls left paying fees (not very high ones as it was a direct grant school) who couldn't get through the 11+.mike1880 wrote:I agree; pay over your 25 quid, give him a break for a few weeks and go for it, he may feel differently by January anyway.
A huge percentage of the boys are on assisted places - 25%. The chief master is at pains to point out that he was there on a free place himself (if only they still did those!) so I would doubt that any stigma is allowed to attach.
A brilliant system though, and no means testing or anything.Thanks for your opinions guys - they have generally confirmed my own thinking!I agree mike that it is very difficult to tutor your own child - which is why I gave up half way through and sent him to a friend who was a tutor , who gave me a sizeable discount!
However, much as I appreciate his support, he tends to test not teach, but seems to think my son doesn't need much coaching due to his natural ability. Said he'd be amazed if he didnt pass KEG, but I don't share his optimism I'm afraid - there are sooo many bright kids around who are also being intensively tutored.
Anyway, i spoke to my son again last night, following your opnions, about the KES test and he grudgingly agreed to sit it - I can see it's going to be a pulling teeth exercise to get him to practise any more, but here goes....
Thanks!
However, much as I appreciate his support, he tends to test not teach, but seems to think my son doesn't need much coaching due to his natural ability. Said he'd be amazed if he didnt pass KEG, but I don't share his optimism I'm afraid - there are sooo many bright kids around who are also being intensively tutored.
Anyway, i spoke to my son again last night, following your opnions, about the KES test and he grudgingly agreed to sit it - I can see it's going to be a pulling teeth exercise to get him to practise any more, but here goes....
Thanks!
I'm not really planning any serious programme for ours; probably a couple of tests after Christmas to get back into the frame of mind. By now I'm sure he's as test-savvy as he will ever be, but he may need a refresher on the maths (he seems to be able to forget all about volumes and long division whenever left for more than about 10 minutes to think about something else 
).
The big issue as far as I'm concerned is the creative writing element, which I'm sure the private school kids have done to death but might be a little more challenging for state school kids (especially one who's apparently inherited my boundless distaste for Eng Lit in full measure). There are suggestions around the site on how to tackle this but I really don't think they'll work for us given our sparkling working relationship
.
Mike
).The big issue as far as I'm concerned is the creative writing element, which I'm sure the private school kids have done to death but might be a little more challenging for state school kids (especially one who's apparently inherited my boundless distaste for Eng Lit in full measure). There are suggestions around the site on how to tackle this but I really don't think they'll work for us given our sparkling working relationship
.Mike
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fm
I would be mortified if my son didn't behave for a tutor...but funnily enough he is a delight for teachers/tutors alike - just likes to give me a hard time because he thinks it's OK . In fact his tutor said he is the best student he has had for years!! Unbe known to him however, my son hates going and whines constantly on the way there!! 
On the way back however, he is usually quite pleased with himself as his tutor is very good at boosting his confidence... : 
. In fact his tutor said he is the best student he has had for years!! Unbe known to him however, my son hates going and whines constantly on the way there!! On the way back however, he is usually quite pleased with himself as his tutor is very good at boosting his confidence... : perplexed
You son sounds like my kids - great at kicking up a fuss about things that don't really bother him that much at all, and a performance specially for parents that would not be put on for anyone else.
Ignore the moaning, and do what you think best. You are his parent, and he is your son after all.
But if you think he won't work at senior school, and that you will resent him for this if you are paying fees, think twice before you enter into a fee paying contract.
Good luck.
Ignore the moaning, and do what you think best. You are his parent, and he is your son after all.
But if you think he won't work at senior school, and that you will resent him for this if you are paying fees, think twice before you enter into a fee paying contract.
Good luck.
