How to calm nerves for children

[September2017]

Hello...

This is a tricky one-but can anyone give me tips as to how to calm nerves for dd.
Problem we have is nerves are getting the better of dd, when doing practice papers at home she is fine. Having now sat a couple of mock tests and the results have dipped drastically...she panics and whatever she does knows - seems to forget!!

I am hoping other parents have experienced this and can offer some advise...

Thank you!

[salsa]

Hello...

This is a tricky one-but can anyone give me tips as to how to calm nerves for dd.
Problem we have is nerves are getting the better of dd, when doing practice papers at home she is fine. Having now sat a couple of mock tests and the results have dipped drastically...she panics and whatever she does knows - seems to forget!!

I am hoping other parents have experienced this and can offer some advise...

Thank you!

Hi,
This is a tricky one. Breathing deeply will tell your brain that you are relaxed and in turn relax you. You could try this with your daughter as well as physical exercise before she revises and ideally yoga.
Make sure she doesn't play computer games or watches TV before she revises as there are studies that show that those stop you from retaining as much as you could.
You could also use the placebo effect. You could give her something saying that such thing will improve her results. I know there are studies into flavonoids and their effect on exam results. You could give her a blueberry smoothie two hours before she revises. It is supposed to improve results for up to a 14%. Whether this works or not, it could yield a powerful placebo effect. (use the real fruit, not an extract)

Controversially, I didn't put my children through mocks as I was afraid of exactly this same result. After all, the tests they will be doing may have a completely different format. I didn't want to stress them in advance. They both were nervous during the real test, but got through them. One of them was truly paralysed during one of the tests, especially the one he enjoyed the most. Luckily, he recovered but cannot get over the fact that he could have got a higher score.

Best of luck, it's not easy for most of them.

Salsa

[Twinkle]

I used to use a Bach Rescue Remedy spray on one of my sons at about that age - I took the view that it worked as a placebo. Maybe worth trying? I agree with Salsa that breathing exercises and sport are very effective. You might also want to look at the Headspace app. Like Salsa my children didn't do mock exams either as I didn't want to create any extra pressure.

[PerpetualStudent]

Hi,

As well as the techniques suggested above my DD found it helpful to understand the rationale behind the tests e.g. mocks are designed to show weak areas and to discourage overconfidence and that is why it's usually so hard. When DD understood about the 11+ tests being designed to try and differentiate the students rather than being a test of their knowledge she also stopped worrying about finding it hard. If everybody gets over 90% then the test didn't really do its job. At that point she stopped stressing at finding it hard and started focussing more on maximising her own score.
However I do understand that it may just be the exam setting and fear of messing up that is causing your DD's distress. Lots of reassurance about the outcome of the tests might help, and encouragement that learning relaxation techniques now to calm herself and focus will be helpful for the rest of her life.

Good luck.

[September2017]

Thank you so much for replying back.
It has been reassuring that we are not the only ones who has a dd struggling at the moment. By doing the mocks I thought it would help her - instead has had the opposite effect.
We will try the different suggestions - hopefully we have enough time to help her get used to feeling calm under pressure.
This year is very pressurised and we can't wait for the tests to be over!

Thank you again.

[Guest55]

I think you need to ensure she does not pick up on your anxiety.

Exam nerves are normal but parents can make it worse by emphasising how important the test is.

[salsa]

I agree, however, it is very difficult to truly hide certain feelings and children are sometimes very good at reading body language. I know mine are.

Salsa

[Godfather]

We and our friends had the same problem.... we were lucky that our tuition centre provided plenty of mock test ms as part of their teaching ( I think we did 20)

Practice makes perfect!