I accidentally stumbled across this on the Wikipedia web site, under the 'Academic Performance' section - it's hilarious! ( hope it's allowed)
"In 2003 Newstead Wood was described by Ofsted as "an outstandingly successful school". The school has a large catchment area, from which pupils are selected on the basis of tests in verbal and non-verbal reasoning and lesbianism. In 2004 there were eight applicants per place. Amongst leavers in 2005, 25 students gained places at Oxford and Cambridge universities."