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PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2018 10:40 pm 
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As the result day approaches I am wondering how to share the results with DD. She is at school she does not want me to read it so that we all find out at the same time. This is not very easy for working parents as it may be very late when we are all at home.

If you are a 'results day' veteran, how did you do it?


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2018 6:04 am 
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I posted this on another thread, but will repeat it here:

Remember that these are children - in the main 11 or even 10 year old children - because of your nerves and, quite possibly, the pressure of tuition (diy or paid) and the fact that they are (hopefully) bright, they will realise that, to you at least, these results are important. If they have done well and they open the results then all is well. But what if they have done badly? If they open the results, you have a split second to read them, understand them and hide your disappointment - and, certainly the Warwickshire ones (where I am based), take a bit of reading to get any semblance of understanding - and for many, the results may not be clear cut - just muddying the waters - your child will be taking their cues from you and you will be nervous, confused etc. I appreciate in different areas (eg Bucks) it can be clearer.

My single biggest piece of advice, is open them quietly yourself, make sure you understand as much as you possibly can about what they mean (you may not get a clear idea even then, and may have to wait until March) and then "open" them together, or let them open them. Put them in a plain white sealed envelope re-addressed to you, if you have to, but, on this occasion, I think it makes sense to be the adult.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2018 6:52 am 
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Agree - open the results and compose yourself just in case it’s bad news. I had to do this last year. Luckily we entered our child to sit the 11+ in more than one area so as much as we were disappointed not to get a pass in our immediate area it ended up ok as after a call to the headteacher at the school we were reassured that there was at least another pass secured for one of the other tests. The headteacher broke the rules by telling us that information but it meant we could reassure our child(and ourselves!).

I guess the real heartbreak is the day after the results when the kids go in to school and share their results with each other. Our child had other kids poke fun but I guess that’s life.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2018 7:37 am 
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I honestly think it depends on your family and your other choices.
There was no way I could open the results (of our first choice school) with dd there. I wanted her to go there enough that I would not have been able to hide the disappointment (for that first few seconds) if she had not done well enough to go there. I opened it when I got home from work, half an hour before I had to leave to pick her up from school - plenty of time for me to feel sad, decide that there were more important things in life and plaster on the "you did really well anyway" smile if I'd needed to.
One of my good friends at the school opened it with her daughter. Their situation was a little different in that 1) they had a guaranteed sibling place at a school they had been happy with 2) the dd only sat the exam because her friends were and she was still undecided about which school to put first on her CAF even if she had a choice 3) the mum had not been as impressed with the school as the rest of us had been and 4) her dd had asked not to be taken to the second day of the exams as she was convinced she'd done so badly on day 1 so they were expecting bad news. So for them a positive result meant more choice but nothing really more than that*. So opening it together worked well for them.
Only you know how important each result is to you and your child and therefore how you will cope if the results are not what you would have liked.

*Her dd did pass extremely well, they struggled with the decision of which school to put first on the CAF, deciding at the last minute to put the selective school, on the grounds that she would be top of the w/l for the other school (sibling place) if she hated it (and places became available at the other school very frequently). They are really glad they made that choice, her dd has been really happy at the school.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2018 8:46 pm 
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We have decided in our household to await the Kent test results before revealing the Bexley ones. That way, if you/your DC are disappointed - it only happens once. Would be awful if you didn't pass Bexley and then tried to kept the hope till the Kent results a week later, only to not pass that too! (Assuming your DC sat more then one?)
Our DD has chosen to wait till the 11th where we will open the letters together. Myself on the other hand, will be reading the results through my e-mail inbox on Thursday and pretending I don't know till next week :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 7:36 am 
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Joined: Fri May 01, 2015 5:24 pm
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Quote:
Our DD has chosen to wait till the 11th where we will open the letters together. Myself on the other hand, will be reading the results through my e-mail inbox on Thursday and pretending I don't know till next week :lol:


The kids will talk about it at school. Nobody really is going to believe your DD when she says she isn't going to open the letter for another week. They will assume she's trying to save face.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 8:00 am 
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Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2016 2:44 pm
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Location: London Borough of Bexley
Taraific wrote:
We have decided in our household to await the Kent test results before revealing the Bexley ones. That way, if you/your DC are disappointed - it only happens once. Would be awful if you didn't pass Bexley and then tried to kept the hope till the Kent results a week later, only to not pass that too! (Assuming your DC sat more then one?)
Our DD has chosen to wait till the 11th where we will open the letters together. Myself on the other hand, will be reading the results through my e-mail inbox on Thursday and pretending I don't know till next week :lol:


I think that's a good way to do it if it works for you. Personally I want to cut down on the number of school open days to visit ASAP. :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 11:05 am 
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thickasabrick wrote:
Quote:
Our DD has chosen to wait till the 11th where we will open the letters together. Myself on the other hand, will be reading the results through my e-mail inbox on Thursday and pretending I don't know till next week :lol:


The kids will talk about it at school. Nobody really is going to believe your DD when she says she isn't going to open the letter for another week. They will assume she's trying to save face.


I would expect a lot of parents and children alike will be trying to 'save face' come results day. Considering a very small fraction actually pass. DD's class had only 4/5 not sit the exam and with statistics showing only 1 in 4 pass, I'm sure she won't be the only one not revealing a result.

PeppermintCreams wrote:
I think that's a good way to do it if it works for you. Personally I want to cut down on the number of school open days to visit ASAP. :lol:


:lol: Yes, agreed!
I think it's been a good idea from the Grammar schools to not have their open days until after the results are out. Unsure if that's the norm? Saves the extra disappointment if you or your DC have your heart set on a particular GS after viewing.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 11:14 am 
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Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 2:01 pm
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Location: Herts
You absolutely have to open it first and have answers prepared.

Your dd is ten and does not understand how she will feel if it is bad news. Be the parent here and take charge.

You made the decision to put her in for it and you must follow through and be ready to deal with all the consequences, good or bad.

She only sees the excitement of it and has not experienced what it will be like if it is bad news.

It seems so final, but with preparation you will have something sorted out to reassure her. DG


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 4:25 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2016 2:44 pm
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Location: London Borough of Bexley
Does anyone know what time the email will come? Midnight (this evening) or during the day tomorrow? :|


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