Private tuition. When do you stop?

[Thingsbehindthesun]

My dd goes to a semi selective independent school.Three girls in her class already have tutors and I know of a tuition center close by that offers group classes of approximately 6 kids in a class from year 9 to a-level for only £12 an hour for gcse which rises to £18. The y9 math class is taught by a current imperial student.The majority of the parents are Asian but their kids aren't behind they just want them to stay ahead and get those A/A* grades. I know one girl who attended each Saturday for a-levels arriving at 10am and leaving at 5pm and she wasn't the only one.

[Warks mum]

I was amazed when I found out that parents often accompany their child when visiting universities

After DD went to one university open day on her own (we only found out about it the day before and she took herself off on the train) she's suggested we come to others as she was the only one on her own! I was also surprised as I remember the thrill of driving myself to a university open day a few months after I passed my driving test. No parents allowed in those days!

[scary mum]

I agree that it is part of a parent's job to make sure their child is able to learn (and eventually live!) independently. I am not sure I have always acheived this with DD, but try to learn from any mistakes. I think that if a child needs tutoring through GCSEs and A levels (and degree level ) then they may well not be in the right place. However, no-one knows other people's situation and there may well be good reasons for turning to a tutor. My DD moved schools in year 10 and found that she had missed some areas of the maths syllabus (a subject she struggles with anyway). She had a particularly poor supply teacher (I complained many times to the school, as did others, and she was eventually removed, but not in time for DD). She received a few weeks of tutoring to fill in the gaps (and in fact it turned out there were gaps going back to primary level), and it helped enormously. Of course, had I been more of a helicopter parent, insisting on knowing what homework she was doing, thrusting extra maths on her etc etc, I would have been aware that she had no idea how to do long division (I think that was it), and she could probably have tackled it with the school/s earlier. As it was she buried her head in the sand and just said "I don't like maths". Ironic, huh?

There may also be other very specific reasons for tuition, as someone else has said - illness, missing a lot of school etc.

Regarding parents influencing their child's GCSE, university options etc, I was amazed when I found out that parents often accompany their child when visiting universities. When I was at that age, it was a day off school with your mates.

I agree. For a start I would never tell my children which subjects to do. If they wanted to chose a totally impractical combination, I might point out the pitfalls but it would be up to them to make the decision.
I was surprised to find that parents go to open days too. When I was at that stage there was no such thing as open days, you were offered an interview & that was the point at which you visited. I went off on my own or with friends - I don't think there was ever any suggestion that my parents should go. Now it is a little different - students attend open days where they are selling the university/course and a lot of that selling is to the parents. I have attended a couple - partly because they were a long way away and involved an overnight stay (and a visit to an EPE-er on the way to one, which was a big bonus ). DD and I had a great time and treated it as a night away and a bit of fun, but it did make it exepnsive. DD is now delaying things by a year but I would definitely encourage her to go on her own in future, now that she knows the routine, and she would be more than happy to do so. Unless of course, it was somewhere I wanted to visit .

[Rob Clark]

My 17-year-old is pretty confident on public transport, he takes himself off on his own to gigs (do they still call them that? ) all over London and to stay with cousins who are at university in Bristol and Newcastle.

However, I do think university visits are slightly different – he can't drive yet and driving him to an open day means he can concentrate on the place and the course without worrying about how to get there, what times buses or trains are etc. The more so since all the open days we have been to were on Saturdays and started at 10am – getting there on time amid the vagaries of public transport at the weekends seemed to me to add an unnecessary level of complication.

That said, which universities he wanted to visit, and when, were entirely his choice. As were what aspects he wanted to see and hear when he was there. The parental role was confined to transportation logistics

[Guest55]

Some of the Open Days had specific input/tours for parents and separate one for potential students. These days it is about 'selling' the university which it was not in my day when it was just for interview post UCCA (as it was in those days) application.

[southbucks3]

I was amazed when I found out that parents often accompany their child when visiting universities

After DD went to one university open day on her own (we only found out about it the day before and she took herself off on the train) she's suggested we come to others as she was the only one on her own! I was also surprised as I remember the thrill of driving myself to a university open day a few months after I passed my driving test. No parents allowed in those days!

Yey...I remember a month of thrill seeking in the upper sixth, British rail offered wannabe students two zone ticket prices £5 and £10, of course my friends and I all went to visit Brighton poly for the day...we never set foot in the poly, but had a great and memorable time!

I would drive my ds to the town if necessary, but vanish to explore as soon as I dumped him out of the car...anyway Oxford is only half an hour down the road, he can cycle not likely...to interview there that is, the cycle ride he would enjoy!

[JSN]

JSN you still haven't explained why the school didn't offer support.

very good point do you think I should bill them?

but seriously they kept telling me he was doing fine, my son is no idiot he knows when he is struggling, so I took his side.

and what takes the biscuit is in his pre-christmas report this teacher said" Mrs JSN did I not tell you he would be fine he has made remarkable progress"

[Sallyltb]

I was amazed when I found out that parents often accompany their child when visiting universities

After DD went to one university open day on her own (we only found out about it the day before and she took herself off on the train) she's suggested we come to others as she was the only one on her own! I was also surprised as I remember the thrill of driving myself to a university open day a few months after I passed my driving test. No parents allowed in those days!

My daughter attended an interview at Bristol in November. Of the 24 there for her course that day, she was the only one who came by train, the rest apparently driven by patents. We know this because there was a big problem with the trains and having planned to arrive at 11.25 for a 12.39 assessment start she was the only one delayed, arriving at 13.00.

[Proud_Dad]

I have a plan wonder woman....sit down with dh and watch "The Graduate" making not so subtle comments throughout, about what goes wrong when kids have their life mapped out for them!

Yes, if wonderwoman's DS isn't allowed to move schools there's a good chance he'll end up having a steamy affair with the milfy wife of DH's business partner, to a Simon and Garfunkle soundtrack...

[wonderwoman]

Yes, if wonderwoman's DS isn't allowed to move schools there's a good chance he'll end up having a steamy affair with the milfy wife of DH's business partner, to a Simon and Garfunkle soundtrack...

Ahh - the very thought - I'm more convinced than ever.