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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 9:10 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 5:08 pm
Posts: 1731
I have been a long serving member of this forum but haven't posted for a while. A post of mine was locked earlier by admin, where I unintentionally shared my DS's result because of a direct question asked by a forum member. I wasn't aware there was a no results sharing policy in place, until of course I shared them and was ridiculed for being boastful by none other than one of the most senior and respected members of this site.

Although I respect the policy, I can't get my head around why they should not be shared. Yes, we know all children work hard for these exams irrespective of the results achieved, but why shouldn't the stand out performance be celebrated and applauded. Most school websites provide an exam summary and clearly list out excellent performances. Surely that should be frowned upon too, but I have not thus far some across any parents arguing against it. Why should an educational achievement be seen any different than achievements on a sporting field. Going by the same rule should we stop declaring the winners because all athletes work equally hard?

I will appreciate your thoughts on this? I will also appreciate if we keep to the topic rather than digressing away and discussing what my DS achieved and the content of the earlier locked thread.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 9:28 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2017 7:33 pm
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I think as long as your DS is happy for you to share, I don't see that it is a problem?


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 9:36 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 6:36 pm
Posts: 363
Location: High Wycombe
As Miltonkeynes1 says if your DC is happy for you to share their results on a public forum to people whose identities are hidden in order to illustrate a point you are trying to make then fine.
The non disclosure started from memory with relation to the 11 plus qualifying mark. Once over 121 the mark achieved made no difference to which grammar school they went to, so why quote it.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 9:43 pm 
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I have been long enough on this forum to realise that you form close relationships and camaraderie with you fellow posters. And you would surely want to celebrate your good moments with them. Yes, there may be some hidden identities, but so what. That should be no ones business other than the person posting the results. And why not quote the actual mark achieved rather than which school they qualified for? Political correctness gone bonkers


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 9:45 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 5:27 pm
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Location: london
I imagine it is in part a hangover for the ghastly boasting that happens with 11+ results every year. Also I guess it depends whether it is relevant, which usually in my experience it is not. There are many places to celebrate hard work and/or achievement but this is a support forum, nothing more nothing less. Apologies if I have misinterpreted your question, I have not read the thread in question being on my way home from a work trip.

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mad?


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 9:49 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 4:33 pm
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It's not so much a policy as what has seemingly become accepted practice and after all, modesty is a virtue. It was my direct question that elicited your son's results, not because I was deliberately trying to get those results but because I thought that what started as an interesting hypothetical situation became a more obviously real and personal one and I was interested in the motivation for the question being posed.

I think it's a matter of modesty and diplomacy. For a start, the results aren't parents' to share. They are earned by children and it's not particularly edifying (in my view, anyway) for parents to bask in the reflection of their children's achievements. There are many parents on here whose children have disappointing news on results days and it isn't very considerate or supportive to be seen as boasting. You refer to "the standout performance" - that's exactly the sort of statement that irks some people because it could be construed as your opinion of your own son's results whereas you probably meant it more generally.

I think your sporting analogy is flawed. It's too simplistic. People play sports for all sorts of reasons and whilst some are single-mindedly in pursuit of winning and earnings, the majority take part for all sorts of reasons, chiefly the sheer enjoyment of competition with oneself and others. I play a particular sport to a reasonable standard, I have no aspirations of greatness in it nor the talent or work ethic to get there if I did but my performance in it doesn't open or close doors to progression or careers. School exams are compulsory and have a real effect on options later on. My own view is that modesty and discretion are admirable characteristics for parents to have when it comes to results. My daughter has recently completed her A levels and as a family we have celebrated the hard work she put in and the results she deserved off the back of it. No one outside our immediate family, her teachers, her small circle of friends and three posters on here who helped with our journey over the years know her results, and no one else ever will. I've been asked for details by friends and colleagues but all they know is that she is happy with her results and where they are taking her next.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 9:59 pm 
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I appreciate and respect your opinion anotherdad! I can only speak for myself, and in my opinion results ARE parents' to share. Although, he sat the exam and put all the hours in, I also gave my blood and sweat guiding and driving him around to all his work commitments. It wasn't an individual achievement, it was team work. And every team member has an equal right to do what they feel is appropriate with results.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 10:01 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:21 pm
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You can refuse to have your child's results shared on a school website and/or in the paper - the results belong to your child, not you. I don't think the points that were made about people who got 9s 'obviously' working harder chimed with me either.

The thread for GCSEs was a support thread not one for boasting.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 10:05 pm 
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May be I should start using the phrase that a child achieving the highest possible grade was down to sheer luck and god's grace rather than hard work


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 10:12 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 08, 2011 1:25 pm
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Well I certainly don’t need know of a formal policy, and I’ll be honest it does seem a bit nanny state-ish if your post was locked for that. I am very much against the boatful posts that you see regularly, but personally I think that sometimes results are required to highlight and give background to a query.
One particular member is very vocal about this subject and I see her point, if not always in agreement with it, but I’m actually sad that you have been censured for this..


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