Managing expectations....

Discussion and advice on Sixth Form matters

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silverysea
Posts: 1105
Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2011 3:32 pm

Managing expectations....

Post by silverysea »

OK I need some advice from those experienced with getting offers from independent schools....we're talking Sixth Form here but 11+ experiences may also apply...

DD1 got an offer of a place at 3, one on Monday (her least favourite, but acceptable if the others were no), one on Tuesday (her first choice) and one on Wednesday (her second, but not very distant). A real thrill and achievement, and a great end to a gruelling two weeks of writing personal statements, interviews, entrance exams, auditions, mocks and a cold. I think she based the rank on her impression of the academic achievement in her subjects, she does not want to leave her existing social life but is very very bored at her current state school and is really definitely up for more challenge and stimulation at A level. So she didn't think much of the other students, probably a mixture of prejudice against fee-paying kids and anxiety that they were checking her out!

The spanner in the works is a very significant scholarship for the Wednesday one-obviously we are delighted and think that one is the one! trouble is she had already in 24 hours started to fondly imagine being at her first choice. There is a another factor at play that for the scholarship she has to get certain GCSE grades including a subject she wasn't expecting (but would love) to take at A level, and she is feeling insecure about that as she is currently predicted a B (please don't try to guess the schools on here, we are sworn to secrecy).

So, what to say without being too obvious? I've already said if she had got them in a different order, she would have felt differently. Also to think what we could do for her with the extra money to mitigate some of the things that she likes less about number 2. Dd2 pointed out that the scholarship award will look good on her CV as well.

She is prone to disagree with anything her wise old parents say, just for the sake of it (I hear the chorus, fellow parents of teens-"welcome to my world!")

My hands are shaking! Its a fortunate position to be in, I know!
Last edited by silverysea on Thu Dec 03, 2015 1:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Warks mum
Posts: 538
Joined: Thu Nov 22, 2007 11:30 am
Location: Warwickshire

Re: Managing expectations....

Post by Warks mum »

Is there a chance she could spend a day at each school? I guess the atmosphere at each may be very different and could make the decision easier. At least one of DD's friends moved school for 6th form but went back to her old school after less than a week as the new school really didn't suit her after all.
J50
Posts: 296
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2012 10:35 am

Re: Managing expectations....

Post by J50 »

For a start I think you/she needs to think about the relative rank as you have it, as you've said that she based the rank on their academic achievements in her subjects - I think this is wrong as I expect she will do well wherever she goes (within reason, and certainly likely within these 3).

Our position was that DS2 had a number one choice (where he was offered a small scholarship) and a number two choice. Fortunately he wasn't offered a scholarship to No.2 but if he had and it had been significant then it would perhaps have made it a difficult choice.

However I can genuinely say that even if No.2 had offered a significant scholarship then we would both have gone for No.1.

Hope this starts to help...!
Guest55
Posts: 16254
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:21 pm

Re: Managing expectations....

Post by Guest55 »

Any 'ranking' of results is unreliable as it is based on the 'old' A levels and not the new linear specs she will be taking [apart from a few subjects that won't change until September 2017]

Which one did she feel most 'at home' in? Which one has students going on to the course she might do at uni?

There are some advantages at being in a state school for the sixth form; is there one she would consider instead?
J50
Posts: 296
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2012 10:35 am

Re: Managing expectations....

Post by J50 »

silverysea wrote: (please don't try to guess the schools on here, we are sworn to secrecy).

It took me 30 seconds to work out which schools (probably) from some of your previous forum posts... :roll: :roll: :oops: :oops:
silverysea
Posts: 1105
Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2011 3:32 pm

Re: Managing expectations....

Post by silverysea »

I can encourage her to consider to try out the schools but I think she might say no. I already said she should talk to the subject teachers she hasn't been able to meet yet, and she said she didn't want to (very tired!). She has to make some decisions about subjects at least for both by tomorrow.

Really I agree she should do equally well in either school, and I also think the less pushy one (the one with the scholarship) would suit her better, in fact she is a bit resistant to that sort of thing and prone to do the opposite of what loved ones want just to be cussed (like DH) even if she knows it might not be in her own interest. Its not just the expense, but that does make a difference too.

We thought of paying the deposit for both, but that is also a substantial amount and I also hate stringing people along, it feels very wrong to me.

She's having a day off at home/park today, her own mocks are over and the school is still running them. DH also home, unusually, hope he doesn't put his foot in it while I am at work!
silverysea
Posts: 1105
Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2011 3:32 pm

Re: Managing expectations....

Post by silverysea »

:lol: just don't spell it out ok, J50?
Daogroupie
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Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 3:01 pm
Location: Herts

Re: Managing expectations....

Post by Daogroupie »

You have not mentioned location and this will have a great deal to do with how she fits in.

We know of a student who has moved to sixth form at a top drawer indy but seems to be finding quite lonely as she now has to travel by herself after five years on a bus with a bunch of close friends.

It is very very exciting when you sit sixth form exams for a top school who then really wants you and offers you a scholarship and writes lovely things about you in the offer letter.

This happened to my dd last year. But then there is the reality of ten journeys a week and entering a sixth form where strong friendships have been established over five years.

Make sure there will be other new sixth formers doing the subjects she wants to do. Don't let the money sway you. Make the choice based on the day to day reality of two years and your goals at the other end.

Also think carefully about what it will be like being with girls who potentially might have a serious amount of disposable income and great holidays.

How much time have they given you to make the decision? DG
Angelcake
Posts: 28
Joined: Thu Oct 17, 2013 12:05 pm

Re: Managing expectations....

Post by Angelcake »

For us, although an 11+ decision, the journey was the deciding factor. We were offered no scholarship for school 1, a small one for school 2 and a large one for school 3. School ranking was largely based on academics. However, school 2 had the easiest journey and that was the one we plumped for. We would probably have done the same regardless of financial incentives. Obviously we will never know if that was the best decision, but now I know how many after school clubs DS is doing and how often we are at school for sports, concerts etc, it feels like the right choice. If school 1 had offered us a large scholarship it might have been a different matter.....
shootmenow
Posts: 356
Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2012 12:25 pm

Re: Managing expectations....

Post by shootmenow »

DAO- Do be careful of reverse snobbery. DCs who bang on about disposable income and great holidays are not the norm at highly academic indies. It's obnoxious to be a braggart in any type of school. They all have their places based on nothing but brains and a fair few will be on bursaries.
OP- don't even worry about some imaginary social divide.
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