HBS current students and parents

[mumof3stanmore]

Hi all,

My DD sat HBS round one on Tuesday, (don't worry no spoilers!), the whole experience has really put me off HBS. I was really surprised at the 'intensity' of the expectations on the girls to try and achieve the top at this young age. I'm assuming the 'fortunate top 3.5%' who actually get a place have been working and preparing like crazy and might not have had much of a summer holiday and I'm wondering what it would be like to actually go to school and 'grow up' in such a competitive high intensity school.

Would they get to 'hang out' in the park on the way home with friends, go ice skating just for fun, have water fights and really laugh without control with her friends? Do the kind of children who actually get in have a lot of pressure to study from school and parents and how much of a 'fun' atmosphere is there at HBS.

I'm really keen on my child enjoying her formative years 11-18. As some of you know from previous posts I moved with short notice from SW London to North West London so didn't get to visit HBS Open Day,I'm hoping if DD gets to round 2 they will let me arrange a visit before CAF submission, and only have HBS's reputation to judge by at the moment. Am keen to hear about the extra curricular life and atmosphere from current students and parents please...

[tiffinboys]

It is not as intense in yr 7 & 8 as to get into top selective schools. Be it HBS or QE or Tiffins or SPauls or NLCS.

From yr 10 again, it's lot of hard work and most children in such schools are very competitive. 10 or 11 or 12 GCSE linear subjects demand intense hard work.

[piggys]

Hi all,

My DD sat HBS round one on Tuesday, (don't worry no spoilers!), the whole experience has really put me off HBS. I was really surprised at the 'intensity' of the expectations on the girls to try and achieve the top at this young age. I'm assuming the 'fortunate top 3.5%' who actually get a place have been working and preparing like crazy and might not have had much of a summer holiday and I'm wondering what it would be like to actually go to school and 'grow up' in such a competitive high intensity school.

When you say you were surprised at the 'intensity' do you mean the intensity on the day of the exam? because any exam in any school/college/ institute will be 'intense'. Are you commenting on the intensity of other parents? because there is no shortage of those. I was disgusted by the antics of some parents when my dd1 sat the North London exams a few years back. You need to accept that there are plenty of idiots out there and let them get on with it (and vent fulsomely on this board as a means of release)

HBS is a victim of its own success (as are all the grammars and partially selectives); more and more people apply and people become obsessed with getting their dc into one. Therefore the numbers sitting the exams grow each year, which leads to folk getting their dc tutored more rigorously from a younger age, and so on and so on.....but ultimately the school will only be accepting about 100 girls.

Exam day can be awful. You have literally hundreds of anxious kids who have been absorbing their parents' angst and neurosis. Don't allow that to cloud your judgment.

My dd is in Y11 at HB and has had a good time. She has been through troubles of a pastoral nature, which the school handled very thoroughly, and has come through the other side with a lot of affection for the school. It's relaxed, cheerful and nurturing. Although she doesn't often take herself ice skating she and her friends can often be located in Pizza Express or Starbucks and yes, they have fun and hang out. Things at school are pretty relaxed and the rules are quite lenient.

It's the parents who create this vibe you detected, not the girls or teachers. There is a significant proportion of girls at the school who are from strict backgrounds and whose parents won't allow them to mix socially and so on (shame on them) but otherwise there are enough girls who are 'normal'. My dd and her friends go to quite a lot of gigs and I have become a bit of an amusing figure as the only parent willing (and secretly rather keen) to accompany them to the Camden Underworld and other seedy venues to watch punk/riot grrrl/pop-punk bands as under 16s have to have an adult with them. My point being that this is all normal stuff.

I'm hoping Silverysea and Middlesexmum will be on to agree with my comments.

HTH

[loobylou]

I'm not an HBS parent but just wanted to say
1) Many of the North London exam days are a scary experience when you look at some of the other parents. I had visited my children's school several times before dd at the exam and I knew I loved it (and I still do) but I was massively put off by the other parents (and some of the children in their blazers and thousands of badges!) on exam day. Interestingly I've met very few parents like that since being there. Either their children didn't get in or they do not come to sports matches/concerts/quiz nights etc. As I say I have no personal knowledge of HBS but we are in the same area so there will be a lot of cross-over.
2) Dd has one friend at HBS who's in year 11. She reports being very happy at the school and having good friends. How much of a social life that translates into outside of school I can't answer.

[mumof3stanmore]

Are you commenting on the intensity of other parents? because there is no shortage of those. I was disgusted by the antics of some parents when my dd1 sat the North London exams a few years back

I was totally referring to the parents! I am still a bit shell shocked at the thought that some parents are taking their LOs all around London to sit exams for schools that they live miles and miles away from! I commute an hour to work each day and I find that tiring as an adult, can you imagine children commuting that long to get to school!

It's reassuring to hear the comments about a relaxed atmosphere and children having fun, I work with children who have anxiety issues and eating disorders. A lot of this stems from the environment in schools and at home and after seeing some of the parents on Tuesday I've become quite worried about the effect the competitive environment could have on the children Long term.

Granted it was a handful of parents out of the hundreds that obviously stood out more I wonder how much pastoral support there is at the school for anxiety and mental health issues. Is there much awareness and do they have approachable staff or school councillors to talk to? Would be interested to hear about how they've handled bullying etc. ,

[bluesymum]

i have come away with similar impressions about the parents. What surprised me is the lack of a multicultural representation in the hopefuls. Hampstead as far as I'm aware is not populated by the Asian community, however I could count that about 95% attending the test were not white British or Jewish.,does the school have a similar representation of cultures as well,,

[tiffinboys]

i have come away with similar impressions about the parents. What surprised me is the lack of a multicultural representation in the hopefuls. Hampstead as far as I'm aware is not populated by the Asian community, however I could count that about 95% attending the test were not white British or Jewish.,does the school have a similar representation of cultures as well,,

Did you go on open day? What was the mix of students in the school? I don't think school has 90% Asian students enrolled there. Also they are on merit there, as you could see from the GCSE/GCE results.

And if you worry about Asian majority sitting for the entrance tests, then forget about the London grammars. Try NLCS.

[daddyshah]

i have come away with similar impressions about the parents. What surprised me is the lack of a multicultural representation in the hopefuls. Hampstead as far as I'm aware is not populated by the Asian community, however I could count that about 95% attending the test were not white British or Jewish.,does the school have a similar representation of cultures as well,,

Did you go on open day? What was the mix of students in the school? I don't think school has 90% Asian students enrolled there. Also they are on merit there, as you could see from GCSE/GCE results.

And if you worry about Asian majority sitting for the entrance tests, then forget about the London grammars. Try NLCS.

Couldn't agree more - Tiffinboys

NLCS Habs etc are also heavily populated with SE Asians just like all the other super selective grammars around London and its suburbs. While HBS and other grammars have a very significant Asian contingent sitting the entrance tests, the admitted cohorts are certainly more diverse than the test-day representation; albeit with reasonably large Asian numbers.

[CestMoi]

All the children who went to HB from our primary in recent years were of Asian ethnicity. They were also the ones who put in the most effort - 1+ tutors, summary "camps" etc. - so maybe they want the school more than others? I have no doubt all work just as hard when at the school and will succeed in that environment.

Some schools are more diverse in North London than suggested here though - schools like Latymer, DAO and St Michael's mirror their communities more than HBS and QE boys, I'd guess. (And no I don't have stats to prove it!)

[Middlesexmum]

It's the parents who create this vibe you detected, not the girls or teachers

This is SO true.

My dd has just started Year 10. For a bit of background, we are a well-educated family who really value education but we do not put this huge amount of pressure on our children that some others seem to.

I have always said to dd: work hard, do your best, remember you are working alongside some very bright girls, don't compare yourself, don't be disheartened with a bad mark, learn from your mistakes and it's OK to make mistakes!

One girl in dd's has been talking about GCSEs since Year 7 and is now talking about looking at universities Others are scared to take home poor (relatively!) marks or test scores because their parents will tell them off. One girl last year received a 'W' for a piece of work (means 'working towards expected level' which is actually ok at HBS). She made a huge fuss in class, saying it was her first W and her parents would be cross. Some of these parents are just brutal TBH, not satisfied with 85/90% in a test ('why didn't you get 100%?'). Goodness knows what this attitude will do to their relationship with their daughters in the long term.

But they are not all like that. There are plenty of more relaxed parents like us too. Dd works hard but she also goes out a lot with friends, she's involved with a youth movement outside school, she does a lot of drama both in and out of school. She's a normal teenage girl who watches rubbish telly and eats junk food (in moderation!).

The school know that some of the girls are under pressure at home so they try to be relaxed as possible. They really encourage them to get involved in extra curricular activities and there are plenty on offer. They want the girls to try new things, take risks and find out what their strengths AND weaknesses are.

I wish your dd good luck. We are also waiting for Round 2 results, my youngest is in Year 6