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 Post subject: Re: MTS or St. Albans?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 11:19 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 7:10 pm
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Location: Buckinghamshire
Amber wrote:
I agree with Sally Anne and would be pretty unimpressed if the power balance in my domestic situation was pushing me into a position where I looked unreasonable for opposing this. This is less about school and more to do with who makes the decisions. I think most people would believe that the person most affected by a decision should have the final say in it - and that looks like being you. League tables and inspection reports are worth absolutely nothing if your child is exhausted or you fall apart with stress. The bottom line is likely to be that your child would do just as well closer to home, would probably be happier and the added bonus would be that his mother remained sane. A ten year old cannot decide this for himself and is likely to be swayed by pretty trinkets (facilities, buildings etc) so it is unfair of his father to use him as leverage. I hope that you have enough power within your relationship to stand against this - and that your husband will understand that it is unfair of him to put pressure on you.

Sorry if that is overstepping, no offence to any individuals intended. :)

Amber, you have said very eloquently what I was alluding to ...


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 Post subject: Re: MTS or St. Albans?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 11:29 am 
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Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2017 10:34 am
Posts: 26
Are there particular things about SAS that your DS doesn’t like? Perhaps people more familiar with the school can help you convince DS regarding those.

If you’re talking stats, surely SAS and MTS are more or less similar. 2-3% points apart, which seems negligible.

The Arkley Pub coachers I know seem to started at Y9 and have older “younger-siblings”. They are able to stay by themselves while mum chases down the coach or wait in school independently if mum’s late to pick up etc. So they manage OK even when it gets hectic.

That said, I totally get the attraction of MTS. I’m really working the more independence, more free time and less ragey mum angle for my DS :D


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 Post subject: Re: MTS or St. Albans?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:04 pm 
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One other thing I thought of - your son might be lucky and not need this but we are plunged into the world of orthodontists and braces for both our children at the same time - but at different orthodontists (one needs specialist dental hospital care apparently, the other doesn't) and even for us, living within 2 miles of the school and working within 5 miles of home - it's a real pain. They don't want to miss too much time off school so we're always looking for early/late appointments but it's still very annoying to be going to appointments every few weeks. I can't imagine how much more annoying it would be to have to drive an hour to/from school on top of that.
I agree with Tinkers about children being off sick too. My dd has not been sent home in 3.5 years. My ds has been sent home 4 times in 1.5 years, twice with ? broken bones and twice with ? vomiting bug (he didn't have any of them but we still had to pick him up). If that's going to mean a 2 hour round trip, assuming good traffic, then that could impact on being able to pick up the other children etc.
Lots to think about. And if you're the one doing the journeys (which may be unfair; my dh does the vast majority of unexpected child-related stuff in our house) then you really need to think about whether you're happy (not just prepared) to do it!


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 Post subject: Re: MTS or St. Albans?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:13 pm 
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Always up for a challenge, I have skim read the two ISI reports - both schools were judged 'exceptional' in 2014 so I really don't understand why there is a push for MTS.


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 Post subject: Re: MTS or St. Albans?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 2:06 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:59 am
Posts: 7465
Guest55 wrote:
Always up for a challenge, I have skim read the two ISI reports - both schools were judged 'exceptional' in 2014 so I really don't understand why there is a push for MTS.
Ah, but in what sphere? Exceptionally expensive? Exceptionally awful? Exceptionally far away from most people who got in?


Sorry, as you were. :oops:


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 Post subject: Re: MTS or St. Albans?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 2:30 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 19, 2014 1:14 pm
Posts: 16
Amber wrote:
I agree with Sally Anne and would be pretty unimpressed if the power balance in my domestic situation was pushing me into a position where I looked unreasonable for opposing this. This is less about school and more to do with who makes the decisions. I think most people would believe that the person most affected by a decision should have the final say in it - and that looks like being you. League tables and inspection reports are worth absolutely nothing if your child is exhausted or you fall apart with stress. The bottom line is likely to be that your child would do just as well closer to home, would probably be happier and the added bonus would be that his mother remained sane. A ten year old cannot decide this for himself and is likely to be swayed by pretty trinkets (facilities, buildings etc) so it is unfair of his father to use him as leverage. I hope that you have enough power within your relationship to stand against this - and that your husband will understand that it is unfair of him to put pressure on you.

Sorry if that is overstepping, no offence to any individuals intended. :)



Thanks for your opinion Amber, but dare I say, not well placed. It has nothing to do with the power balance or who makes the decisions. If that were the case, the deposit would have been paid on Friday afternoon.
Perhaps its not a democracy where you are, but from my part of the world, all members of the family have a say and we ALL work together to come up with a solution to anything that affects us all.
I may not have expressed myself as well as I should have in that, I love MTS over and above St. A anyday for a number of reasons I won't go into now should I start another thread! I guess all I wanted was some sensible advice and not some personal dig! Maybe I was just looking for someone to convince me one way or the other or point out something dreadfully wrong with one or the other school!

Thank you all for taking the time to reply to my thread...good day all!


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 Post subject: Re: MTS or St. Albans?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 2:36 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:59 am
Posts: 7465
Well I apologise unreservedly for jumping to that conclusion. As I said, it was not intended as a personal dig and I was going by the description you gave and in which you sounded upset and exasperated:
Quote:
I'm the only one having sleepless nights at home but now I've made that happen to you! I'm sorry!!

I know exactly what you and everyone else is saying makes absolute sense but ds & dh are still adamant on making this happen! I'm getting all sorts of commitments from them (shortlived? only time will tell) - I could get them to sign up to anything right now!

I'm being shown tables and inspection reports everyday and I'm fed up!


I am pleased that you don't feel under any pressure from your family and that all decisions are taken democratically. And it is great that you have decided that you prefer the further school and are happy to undertake the journey. Good luck with it and apologies again for misreading your posts.


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 Post subject: Re: MTS or St. Albans?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 2:54 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 2:01 pm
Posts: 8277
Location: Herts
As C S Lewis said the very best house is one close to your friends and family and I am sure he would also have said it of a school.

There is nothing wrong with either school. But one is local and one is not.

10 year olds do not understand what going to a school miles and hours away will really mean but adults should. 10 year olds should not be choosing.

The sensible advice is to choose St Albans or move. It is really very simple. There are plenty of good primary schools near MTS for your other two children to settle into.

I know two families on the waiting list for St Albans who would love your place so there are others who would be made very happy if you decide to go for MTS.

You have six months to move, that should be plenty of time. DG


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 Post subject: Re: MTS or St. Albans?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:36 pm 
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Reading OP's other thread MTS from Arkley, she has already decided to go with her dh and ds for MTS as they are looking for friends in advance of him starting the school.

As you say, DG, there will be plenty of people who will leap delightedly at the chance to go to their excellent local school, whilst the OPs DS slogs off on a, in my opinion, ridiculous journey for the next 7 years....(seriously, OP, please move if you are dead set on MTS!) ....I write this as DS1 climbs into the bath following a rugby game held in school games time - is not after school, although by the time it has finished, they exchanged, we've got home, sorted the dirty kit, run the bath etc it is already 6pm. He is exhausted so will have a short break before we eat supper at about 7....he will then have at least 2.5 hours of work to do....but he got home at 6.....how will your son feel? And he will have got up a good hour/hour and a half before mine! Granted my son is older but it's a similar timetable for DS2, although probably a max of 2 hours a night at his age, probably 1/1.5hours year 7/8/9....and that is after, after school clubs - which, I suspect MTS will expect engagement with.


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 Post subject: Re: MTS or St. Albans?
PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 6:09 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 19, 2014 1:14 pm
Posts: 16
kenyancowgirl wrote:
Reading OP's other thread MTS from Arkley, she has already decided to go with her dh and ds for MTS as they are looking for friends in advance of him starting the school.
.



We've decided - MTS it is.

I wanted to thank you all for taking the time to respond and share your thoughts....

Rest assured we've made an educated decision and have worked out the finer details....and if it helps - turns out the coach journey is very similar to St.A from my stop!
And have even considering moving!

best of luck to all... :D


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