PArents evening advice please

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denis denis
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Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 9:39 pm

PArents evening advice please

Post by denis denis »

Hi

My dd is in year 5 and is in the top groups. Her SATs last year were Reading 4B, Writing 4A and Maths 3A. She is on the G&T list for Literacy.

We have parents evening in a couple of weeks and I would just be interested in your opinions on a couple of things I want to raise:

Firstly, dd is sitting next to a girl who has a learning disability and is probably at the bottom of the class. Most of the class seems to be matched like this, one bright one next to one not so bright. While I can see the logic in this, my dd is hating it (I think it's more of a personality thing to be honest). She's been sitting next to this girl since September, and I want to ask for her to be moved and she's constantly moaning about it, would I be within my rights to ask? I honstly think she would do better sitting next to brighter kids as she quite likes the element of competition.

Also, she is on the G&T list for Literacy and I was told in year 2 that she would have an hour's extra tuition in Literacy a week, usually involving being taken out of the class with any others who are G&T. Now, dd doesn't know she's on this list, and I've asked her obscure questions trying to find out whether she's had any G&T extra help, but she's adamant that she does the same as the rest of the class. Certainly, it's never mentioned, even at parents' evening. It seems a waste of time, so I'd like to bring this up as well at parents evening.

Her whole school seem to concentrate on the bottom end of the class, but because dd is doing well, she seems to be ignored and bored, which I'm sure is not unusual. She said that last Friday she put her hand up for every single question the teacher asked and wasn't asked to answer once, the teacher just asked the lower ability children. The whole thing is getting on my nerves and I think I need a list to take along to parents evening!

Any advice appreciated.
hermanmunster
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Post by hermanmunster »

Hi Denis Denis

Tricky these things aren't they? re who the kids sit next to, has always been a problem I think sometimes troublemakers sat next to the well behaved ones etc. Can see why it is done .... reckon most of the times it has happened to my kids it has been on a termly or half termly basis and then they move one. I remember it once at primary school and one of the other mothers said "ah but everyone has to sit next to N at some time" :wink:

Re THE LIST. I'm not a teacher but can assure you that lists tend to set off a personality change (not a good one) in my colleagues and I, the ultimate heart sink particularly when it gets onto page 2...... Teachers may feel differently however ... I'm sure they will be along soon! Good luck with parents evening - maybe best to just deal with one issue at a time ?
denis denis
Posts: 129
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 9:39 pm

Post by denis denis »

Hi herman,

Thanks for that! I know what you mean about sitting next to other kids, and usually i tell dd she has to lump it, but this girl is really getting her down! I reckon what will happen is I'll mention it to her teacher who will then say that she was going to move them all next term anyway!

And re my list, it wasn't a huge one, just two or three items that I didn't want to forget. Trouble is, our parents evenings are held in the school hall (so not very private) with the teachers sat around the ouitside and parents waiting their turn in the middle, and I'm always very aware that I have only 10 mins and there's loads of people waiting (and trying to listen in!), so I tend to gabble, smile and leave! If I really had a lot to discuss, I'd make an appt to see the teacher.

Thanks again!
hermanmunster
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Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:51 am
Location: The Seaside

Post by hermanmunster »

know what you mean about the parents evenings - never struck me as the sort of place to discuss problems! Similarly would never expect to be told of any problems at parents evening - reckon they should be dealth with elsewhere.

About the seating - yes quite reasonable to ask ... particularly along the lines of "when will you be moving the class around???"
alexandra6
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Joined: Thu Sep 17, 2009 8:06 pm
Location: kent

Post by alexandra6 »

I agree with Herman about the list thing - it gets their backs up, and also about taking turns next to the 'difficult' child. My daughter changed school in Y3 and was instantly paired with the naughtiest boy - how's that for settling in gently? But she survived and moved on eventually.

She also had her hand up for every question - and one teacher, after ignoring her hand for a while (in a friendly/jokey way) once said to her "well, ****, as you are the only one with your hand up I suppose I shall have to ask you the answer".

It did her no harm, much of what they learn comes from how you treat them and how they absorb things from the world around them, not just school. So keep praising and stimulating her at home and she'll maybe have a better teacher next year. It certainly doesn't do any good falling out with the school, you never know when you might need them on side later.
MasterChief
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Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 12:01 pm
Location: Maidstone

Post by MasterChief »

My DS is being partnered in a Powerpoint project by one of 4 boys who beat him up last year and sharing a table with another 2. He is ending up doing all the preparation for it while his low achiving partner messes about.
The four bullies had to write letters to DS to express their sorrow at their actions and apologise for them. DS brought the letters home and they were laughable, with spelling my 7 year old DD would be ashamed of. To then discover that he was being partnered with one and sat with the others seems hugely insensitive and you wouldn't want to hear OH's view.
I shall have to accompany her to keep the peace at our parent -teacher conference! :wink:
"We've got a date with Destiny and it looks like she's ordered the lobster."
Bexley Mum 2
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Location: Bexley

Post by Bexley Mum 2 »

Denis Denis - I fear G&T is something most primaries seem to pay lip service to and I think it's a complete waste of time. Differentiation within lessons is what matters. There's not much point in leaving a bright kid to twiddle their thumbs or be distracted by their neighbour during lessons and then taking them out for the occasional G&T activity. We've found occasionally the local authority will run events for G&T children but these tend to be few and far between.

I have a ds in yr6 and he had a fabulous teacher last year who went out of his way to find activities to stretch him - during lessons and now and again at lunchtime. He said to me at one point during the year that he had deliberately sat my ds and another boy together as they were both very bright and he felt they needed the stimulus of working together. He even asked for the two of them to be kept together in yr 6.

If your dd has been identified in as G&T you are entitled to ask what this will involve, but I would focus your questioning on how she is being stretched in class (opportunity to mention the personality clash with her neighbour) rather than what G&T activities she is involved in.
Gman
Posts: 99
Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2009 12:23 am

Post by Gman »

DD last year was sat next to class chatterbox. Not only that, DD is right handed and other girl left. DD was sitting to right of girl on 2 very small desks, and kept having her arm knocked as she was writing.

Ultimately she resolved her own problem by requesting to sit with others that were doing the higher level work she wanted to do. After the initial request, she was left on the higher table.
denis denis
Posts: 129
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 9:39 pm

Post by denis denis »

Thanks for all your replies. And Masterchief, I feel so sorry for your son, I can't imagine what the reasoning behind that seating plan is. I'm sure you're keeping an eye on it for him.

Bexley Mum 2 - I think you're right about the G&T thing.

I appreciate all the advice, and I will implement your ideas at parents evening and - don't worry - I'm not one to fall out with the teachers ... at least, not until this time next year when dd has (hopefully) passed the 11+ :wink:
MasterChief
Posts: 235
Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 12:01 pm
Location: Maidstone

Post by MasterChief »

denis denis wrote:Masterchief, I feel so sorry for your son, I can't imagine what the reasoning behind that seating plan is. I'm sure you're keeping an eye on it for him.
Many Thanks denis denis. We had parent/teacher conference ourselves this evening and DS's class teacher was unaware of prior events and, to be fair, the seating arrangements were in a lesson that she doesn't take, so now all is (hopefully) resolved.
"We've got a date with Destiny and it looks like she's ordered the lobster."
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