Barmitzvah money

zorro · Post by **zorro** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:07 pm

Hi, any Jewish members - I need your advice!
My DS has several close friends at school who are turning 13. They are having their Barmitzvahs with quite lavish parties. What I need to know is - what's the acceptable amount of money to give on this occasion? One of the mums suggested Â£40 is the average.

Post by **hermanmunster** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:31 pm

Gulp!! have to be pretty close friend I think.... Maybe that is what adult friends / rellys give.

If it was my DC's friends I would treat it like a gift for a birthday party.. tenner is usually my limit!

zorro · Post by **zorro** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:43 pm

Nope! She meant from schoolfriends!! Mind you , they are a pretty affluent group so it's probably not that much to them!

I always stuck to a tenner when DS at primary school but the going rate is now Â£20 -Â£30 depending on how close a friend it is. Oh the joys of independent schools!!

T.i.p.s.y · Post by **T.i.p.s.y** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:47 pm

I suppose it is a one off instead of a yearly birthday but it is still a lot!

zorro · Post by **zorro** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:50 pm

Tell me about it!! We have 3 in the next 3 months!

T.i.p.s.y · Post by **T.i.p.s.y** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:07 pm

Not a one off then! DS better get that scholarship then!

Snowdrops · Post by **Snowdrops** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:12 pm

Yikes, that IS a lot!!!

Talking of giving money and birthdays.

I too have always stuck to the tenner in primary but am now wondering if it should be up to say Â£15 or Â£20 now they're in secondary.

Any thoughts anyone???

zorro · Post by **zorro** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:34 pm

I'd say Â£20 is reasonable for their good friends.

Chelmsford mum · Post by **Chelmsford mum** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:36 pm

zorro wrote:I'd say Â£20 is reasonable for their good friends.

I am obviously very mean because we still spend a tenner in secondary.

Looking for help · Post by **Looking for help** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:48 pm

Me too, CM. The interesting thing is though at secondary school you can often go to all the efforts of putting on a party for all their friends (at exorbitant cost) and some of their friends don't even give them a present at all

I would not cough up Â£40 for any of their friends, that said if any of the children wanted to spend that amount on a friend they would save up some of the money themselves from pocket money.