the only one going!

crazydaisy · Post by **crazydaisy** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 9:36 pm

Well we are absolutely delighted our DD has her first choice, but as the day has gone on we've realised that she's the only one in her small school who's been accepted- Bromley superselective if you know what I mean... It's been a long time since she's been a new girl and I wondered if anyone older and wiser had any suggestions. Could we ask the school/this forum about arranging play dates or is 11 too old for this (I'm already an embarrassing Mum)? Maybe I should just relax as they'll all be in the same boat. Am I the worst 'helicopter' parent ever? Totally shattered after the whole experience, but feel really lucky. And well done everyone else too!!

familyinthevalley · Post by **familyinthevalley** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 9:39 pm

I was in the same spot - only my DC and one classmate who is not really a friend, going to allocated HS. I also thought of asking to arrange via this site a 'get together' day to celebrate - maybe at the leisure centre or something. Have since learned that several friends from previous primary school are attending - and luckily they were good friends so all is happy now, well, as long as he can take the coach and not have to drive in with DH every day- but know he will be surprised at how many parents to still pick up/drop off their kids so not that worried about that anymore. He even put the 'appeal' and 'waiting list' documentation in the fireplace saying he doesn't need them

MJMoore · Post by **MJMoore** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 9:42 pm

I'm feeling the same - there may be one more girl going with my daughter, but we're still waiting to find out. Even with this in mind, my daughter is still really nervous because everyone else is off to other schools.

I'm hoping she'll be fine because a lot will be in the same position when they start in September, but it still worries me.

yoyo123 · Post by **yoyo123** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 9:49 pm

miss yoyo was the only one from her school in her class. She was convinced it was going to be a disaster, but by the first half term she had made new friends nd loved it at the school. She'snow in final year at uni and still keeps in touch with the girls she first met in y7

medwaymum · Post by **medwaymum** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 10:11 pm

familyinthevalley wrote:Have since learned that several friends from previous primary school are attending - and luckily they were good friends so all is happy now, well, as long as he can take the coach and not have to drive in with DH every day- but know he will be surprised at how many parents to still pick up/drop off their kids so not that worried about that anymore. He even put the 'appeal' and 'waiting list' documentation in the fireplace saying he doesn't need them

Thats great news

bromley mum · Post by **bromley mum** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 10:53 pm

crazydaisy have sent you a pm

doodles · Post by **doodles** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 11:07 pm

Yoyo that's so good to hear makes me feel a lot better - DS is only one from his school going and I know he is as nervous as he is excited. Hopefully he may see some familiar faces at the orientation days. Keep telling him that they will all be new and everybody will be nervous but I am not sure if I am trying to convince him or me!

SSM · Post by **SSM** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 11:09 pm

Sometimes I think it's better if they are the only ones from their primary school as the come without any 'baggage' and they have to make friends with new children rather than clinging to old school friends.

kentsussexborder · Post by **kentsussexborder** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 11:19 pm

I'd agree it's not always a bad thing to start somewhere new with no baggage. As far as I know (and of course excluding appeals and waiting lists etc) there is no one from our village, or his primary school going to DS's secondary so he will be on his own, but he can be who he wants to be, rather than bringing his history with him.

sp · Post by sp » Wed Mar 03, 2010 9:59 am

My DD didn't know anybody in the whole school so was understandably nervous but really wanted to go there. We were put in touch with a couple of friends of friends and made efforts to meet up, if only for a familiar face.
Remember most schools have a taster day which is very informal and a way of meeting a few more children. They may not be friends for life but again, familiar faces for the big day.
DD got a few phone numbers at induction day (school encouraged this, but send with pen and paper anyway) and she met up in the summer hols. Not her best friends now but gave her some confidence in the first few days.