Top academic grammar vs full bursary at indie

[pink1]

i know we're very lucky. we have the choice of a very academic high performing grammar and a bursary to a lovely independent. indie ok academically would be more rounded education, although my child would be the pauper. have heard grammar is high pressure. we can't decide which would be best choice. any constructive advice gratefully received. thanks

[hermanmunster]

much of it is down to gut feeling really - ask yourself, whch one you would be most upset to say no to?

[Ed's mum]

Which school is your child more suited to academically? Which school does your child prefer?

[chad]

Congrats on having such a good decision to make.
my tuppen'orth......

Depends on the child and where you think they would be happier. Where does the child want to go to?
If you have no overwhelming feeling for either then maybe the child should be included in the decision.
Writing down the pros and cons of each school it a good way to differentiate. You may be surprised at the results.

[pink1]

thank you all for all those points. child likes both but grammar probably preferred purely because of the kudos at current state primary. private schools are seen as snobby so child not mentioned this one to peers. seems a shame to let this influence decision too much. i'm happy with either & happy with child making choice but neither of us can decide! both so good.
the indie is wonderful but obviously full of very privilidged kids.
the grammar v high pressure with potential to feel a failure if can't keep up.
still mulling it over!

[Ed's mum]

Can you go back and visit them again? Maybe that might help.

[sherry_d]

private schools are seen as snobby so child not mentioned this one to peers. seems a shame to let this influence decision too much.

With little knowledge I have of indies, I would say please look beyond the general stereotype of indies. I could say the same for state schools too. Among my DD's friends at state primary - the homes they have and the cars they drive we are probably very near the bottom. Its just a fact in life despite being state or private that some kids will be better or worse of than you

Like others have said, I would personally go with the general feeling you got about the school. We are in a similar situation where we are looking at indies and just as poor. However my DD knows some people will be better and some people worse than you and she should appreciate the good she has. I know it sound like a lot for an 11year old but when they do raise money at school or BBC children in need I tell how greatful we are for the life we have and she really understand that that. It breaks my heart at times when I hear her say oh that is really expensive mum when sometimes it isnt that much. Maybe I have drilled her too much about money and material wealth

If you are brave enough to tell us the two schools maybe some good people in Berkshire can tell you more about the schools.

[pink1]

we can visit the indie but apparently the grammar is so sought after they don't need to bother with anyone who is unsure.
want to make decision for our sake as well as those on waiting list...

[Ed's mum]

Pink1, I have sent you a private message.

[Tracy]

pink1, with that attitude of the grammar school, I would tell them that your child was the most precious thing you have and deserves a better reponse. I would politely tell them what they could do with their place and then accept the indie.