General Election Jokes

Sally-Anne · Post by **Sally-Anne** » Thu Apr 15, 2010 4:23 pm

A few jokes are starting to circulate by email. If you've heard a good one, feel free to post it here.

This one appealed to me:

Gordon Brown goes on a state visit to Israel . While he is on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and passes away. The undertaker tells the British Diplomats accompanying him, 'You can have him shipped home for Â£5,000,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land , for just Â£100.'

The British Diplomats go into a corner and discuss for a minute. They come back to the undertaker and tell him they want Gordon shipped home.

The undertaker is puzzled and asks, 'Why would you spend Â£5,000,000 to ship him home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only Â£100? With the money you save you could help pay back some of the deficit, help pay for the Olympic Games or help the elderly'.

The British Diplomats replied, 'Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. We just can't take the risk.'

Looking for help · Post by **Looking for help** » Thu Apr 15, 2010 4:25 pm

T.i.p.s.y · Post by **T.i.p.s.y** » Thu Apr 15, 2010 4:54 pm

You have caused my mum to burst something she shouldn't S-A!

sherry_d · Post by **sherry_d** » Thu Apr 15, 2010 5:41 pm

I bet there will be a few more after the live debate tonight

Amber · Post by **Amber** » Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:36 pm

General election jokes? How about Labour, the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats?

ausvic · Post by **ausvic** » Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:43 pm

Amber wrote:General election jokes? How about Labour, the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats?

Marylou · Post by **Marylou** » Thu Apr 15, 2010 9:09 pm

Oohh Sally-Anne - you are

Anyway, this guy would get my vote. He can't do any worse...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXvACE5Pe9Q

Oh dear - sorry if that's not allowed, I didn't know that well-known video sharing site was censored. Sorry!

Sally-Anne · Post by **Sally-Anne** » Thu Apr 15, 2010 9:32 pm

Hi MaryLou

I am looking for jokes about DC and NC, but I am afraid that they all seem to be targeted at GB - the cross that the incumbent PM has to bear, I am afraid. I got another funny email today but I haven't posted it because it is another "anti-GB joke". ( A wad of tenners might persuade me though?)

The YT links still work when you click on them, but the censorship was put in place to deter trolls and nasties. YT links haven't been a particular problem since we went "Members Only" a few years back. It was "guests" posting vile links that caused the original ban.

Obviously we still ask members to use caution when posting YT links. Just make sure that you have watched them right through before you post them.

S-A

neurotic kent mum · Post by **neurotic kent mum** » Thu Apr 15, 2010 9:46 pm

Thank you.Made us all giggle.

Marylou · Post by **Marylou** » Thu Apr 15, 2010 10:15 pm

OK, purely in the interests of balance:

David Cameron lives in Notting Hill which causes him problems at the festival every year. There are so many band wagons he doesnâ€™t know which one to jump on.

and

Who was the first Liberal Democrat?
Christopher Columbus. He left not knowing where he was going, got there not knowing where he was, left there not knowing where heâ€™d been and did it all on borrowed money.

Not exactly side-splitting but the only ones I could find about the main opposition parties. Hopefully a few better ones will emerge over the coming weeks!